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Old 11-07-2014, 05:09 PM   #1  
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Default "Punishing" others with your diet?

I'm in an awkward situation. I have never been this kind of pregnant this time of year. (Usually in my 1st trimester during the holidays with my summer babies). Years I'm not pregnant, I usually bake this time of year. It have become family tradition, that about once a week I bake a batch of cookies, and around the holidays like Thanksgiving or Christmas I'll do a cheese cake or pumpkin bread etc. Then I put it away the day after Christmas, and no more baking until next year. We don't by processed baked goods so this really is a treat.

When I am in my first trimester I am so sick I barely eat let alone bake. When I am not pregnant I'm pretty good at self control, I can eat a cookie but not binge on them. So yeah there's some extra treats, but nothing too crazy.

Well, I have gained a lot with each pregnancy (look at siggy) I really just go off the deep end, no self control, I try, believe me, I try, but its really hard to fight. I have been really paying attention to what I'm eating and the cravings, and most of the time it really is this STRONG sugar addiction. I have some issues when not pregnant, but wow, right now its like I would knock over a convenience store for sugary food like cookies. I drink my coffee black normally, but when pregnant, I crave all those sweetened creamers! omg, I normally HATE sugar in my coffee when not pregnant.

So the issue is I don't want to bake any more sweets. I'm the baker, hubby cant bake at all. If I stop, everyone misses out. Honestly the kids don't seem to mind but hubby well, he has his own food/weight issues, and when I stop baking he gets sad, or maybe the better way to put it is he's much nicer and more pleasant to be around when there's fresh baked cookies...

I just feel like not baking or at least cutting back big time kind of punishes my family.
I feel like I should be able to bake for them and not use my inability to control my binging as an excuse not to bake. Its like I cannot be around it without over eating...but why should me family do without because I can't stop at 1 or 2 cookies?
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Old 11-07-2014, 06:37 PM   #2  
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1) Don't beat yourself up for 'not having self control' - pregnancy/nursing cravings are very real & have nothing to do with 'self control'. I suspect sometime down the road research will discover physiological reasons behind them. Maybe lower blood sugar or some such triggers them. Whatever. I DO know I ate stuff then that held little appeal to me before or after, and a LOT of sugar.

2) Second, it's great you don't buy packaged baked goods. Are there any bakeries or semi-decent/affordable in-store grocery bakeries where you live that you could use as a temporary compromise? Won't be as good as your home-made, but would be better than packaged & might keep the peace. It's just too hard to bake the stuff & not eat it, family aside. Besides, that's just more time on your feet. Pregnancy is temporary, they need to cut you some slack!

3) You are NOT alone. Read the posts on this forum of non-pregnant cooks who've decided NO holiday baking or declaring other holiday cut backs because of the temptations! Not an option for many of us. Yet every time I bake I declare I won't eat the result. (I've yet to make good on that promise!)

Last edited by Mountain Mamma; 11-07-2014 at 06:51 PM.
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Old 11-07-2014, 07:06 PM   #3  
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Quote:
I feel like I should be able to bake for them and not use my inability to control my binging as an excuse not to bake. Its like I cannot be around it without over eating...but why should me family do without because I can't stop at 1 or 2 cookies?
Not baking for your family is not a punishment to them. There are plenty of families with a mom and dad with no baking skills, and I'm sure they find other sources of baked goodness outside of the home and other ways to show their love.

If you were diabetic, would you apologize for not wanting to be around sweets? If you were an alcoholic, couldn't you reasonably expect not to have to pick your hubby up a six pack of beer?

I like to think I make some pretty slammin' cookies myself, but I don't do well with restraint either. So I make batches and freeze them. When my daughter wants cookies, I bake exactly as many as she can eat and no more.

My daughter understands what I'm trying to do and supports me. I know that isn't always the case, and even when families are supportive, guilt seems to be part and parcel with being a mom, and maybe being a woman. But just because it's natural to feel guilty when putting yourself first doesn't mean you shouldn't do it anyway.

Besides, baking that bun you have in the oven is exhausting work. If you don't feel like knocking yourself out around the holidays, don't. Everyone will be just fine and the holidays will still be joyous.
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Old 11-07-2014, 08:03 PM   #4  
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Thank you both.

Mountain Mamma, I agree that there is something at play during pregnancy. I have lived it 4 times now. When I am not pregnant, and I eat with no concern for health, my natural pattern is still moderately healthy and my weight balances somewhere in the 160s. When I am pregnant, I notice I am eating more often, but I'm really taking not that I am eating much more sugar. I still enjoy nutritious meals, protein and a veggie, but I get overwhelming urges throughout the day to eat sickening amounts of sugar. I mean sickening, to the point of feeling ill. Unchecked I get into the 220s easily each baby. I feel very powerless around food when pregnant.

Streudel, you have a very interesting point. I go for my glucose tolerance test soon and if it were to come up a problem I would think nothing of no longer baking. To be honest, early in this pregnancy I had an awful gallbladder stack. Not only does pregnancy increase the risk of issues but I was already scheduled to see a surgeon when I got pregnant! But now the goal is to get through the pregnancy with no emergency surgery. With that issue, I stopped making any foods that irritate it anything fried, fatty meats etc. They have disappeared from the house. Also we no longer order pizza. I have found that sweets (even though they are higher in fat) don't bother me, well the cookie don't...I suspect a cheese cake would and haven't made it. But even some home cooked meals like slow cooker pork roast have given me pain so I don't make it, and hubby doesn't mind. He understands and does not want me to end up in surgery. And if my sugar were an issue, he would understand as well.

I have it pretty deeply rooted that food = love, so its hard for me not to feel some guilt at the idea of not baking around the holidays.
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Old 11-07-2014, 10:39 PM   #5  
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Sweetie, no one is going to flop over dead, if you don't bake. Just saying.

Since you've been through this before, maybe it's time to reframe, how you think about it.

It's an issue for you, the family will not suffer, if you do not bake all the stuff.

How about a compromise! Your family picks 2 favorites. You do that one weekend, and you're done!

After all they are just cookies, that can be baked anytime.

On the other hand, having been pregnant, I get the craving thing. But mine was for mexican food, the hotter the better, raspberry sherbet, and Coca Cola. Neither food spoke to me before, or after! But I get the craving issue!

Hang in there!
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Old 11-08-2014, 07:43 AM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GlamourGirl827 View Post
I just feel like not baking or at least cutting back big time kind of punishes my family.
I feel like I should be able to bake for them and not use my inability to control my binging as an excuse not to bake. Its like I cannot be around it without over eating...but why should me family do without because I can't stop at 1 or 2 cookies?
Nah, there are worse things one could do to punish their family. You're the one who's pregnant, they should cater to your needs. You could just tell them that you don't have the energy to bake. Only evil people would force their pregnant momma and wife to slave over a stove when she doesn't want to lol. Preggos have all the say in my book.

Maybe now is a good time to come up with NEW and exciting traditions. Perhaps an ornament making activity. Or you could make a gingerbread house together (you can't eat those lol). There are a lot of creative ways to incorporate the Elf on a Shelf. You could make wassail drink or egg nog together. Make Christmas potpourri which smells awesome. Go crazy on christmas lights.

I also agree with shcirerf. While not going overboard and baking everything, why not choose one favorite and bake just that? Or even better, choose your least favorite and bake that, and then you won't be too tempted. And don't be too hard on yourself, you're not punishing anyone. This is the time when everyone has to take care of mommy.
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Old 11-08-2014, 07:15 PM   #7  
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If you are binge eating, you are eating too few calories. Period. Stop restricting and up your calorie count. I maintain 116, easily and without stress, eating 1,700+ calories a day, even when I don't exercise.

EAT MORE.
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Old 11-09-2014, 09:59 AM   #8  
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Thank you all. I haven't baked since my original post. I haven't announced to the family I'm not baking, I think that would only cause them to want it. I just haven't and I will see how long it goes until they ask.

We do have a favorite which is cookies, any kind! lol Even if I don't bake them often, I still over eat when I do.

Sadly enough last night I wanted something with sugar SO badly, that I ate the chocolate chips. I have 1/2 bag still, to be put into more cookies...This is insane! This pregnancy is the first time I've railed again these cravings, and it is just like nothing I experience not pregnant. The stuff just cannot be in the house! Shcirerf, I wanted to tell you that my cravings for regular soda are crazy too! Not pregnant I NEVER drink soda! Never!! I did grow up on it, but cut it from my diet years ago. I drink mostly water, and unsweetened iced tea if I want a treat, oh and morning black coffee...but when pregnant I crave soda. Its crazy! I've drank more soda the past 2-3 months than the past 2-3 years!!

I was trying to think of a way to satisfy my sugar craving a bit healthier. I've tried the fruit thing, but if I'm craving chocolate and I try to fool myself by eating fruit I end up eating fruit then the chocolate. So I thought about fruit dipped in chocolate. At the very least I will fill up faster as part of what I'm eating is fruit, which even though its still sugar at least I'm getting the nutrition and its lower calorie and no fat, so less of what I'm eating is just chocolate.

I'm not too sure if I'm not eating enough. I feel like I am. I eat pretty well rounded healthy meals, its just my snacking is crazy. I do have issues with binging when not pregnant if I under eat. I'd have to track my calories to see if that part of the reason. But even still, the things I'm craving are awful. I wouldn't feel quite so bad if I was over eating at night on a healthier snack...
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