has any of you ever learned to have candy in the house? I would love to be able to have a small piece of chocolate or a small cookie in the afternoon with my coffee, but I just can't. If I have any sweets in my home, I'll eat them all. It has always been like that.
Only this summer, I spent 2 months in a third world country where I was living off cookies on some days during some weeks. There was just nothing else. At meal time or whenever I would be truly hungry, I'd get my cookies out and have some. I'd think about how many I could allow myself for each "meal" until I was able to buy new ones. And I didn't have any problems sticking to my allowance. No cravings at all! Back home I thought I had finally turned into a person who has control around candy, but no. I take one cookie and I'll crave another and have another and so on.
So, theoretically I should be able to have one and stop. It took no effort during the summer. However, food had a completely different meaning all of a sudden. Like water, I couldn't take it for granted.
I have learned how to have lots of different foods around my house without over indulging in them. I never thought it would be possible but I haven't touched any of my son's halloween candy, I have a bar of dark chocolate that I bought just for me in September and I haven't opened it yet and there are chocolate chip cookies, oreos, and doritos in the house too. I have no desire to eat any of them.
You'll get lots of suggestions, but what worked for me was Intuitive Eating. I spent a period of time allowing myself to eat whatever I wanted and whenever I wanted last spring. I gained a little bit of weight but I had to spend the time and energy assuring myself that all this food was mine, and I was allowed to have it. After a while I had enough. And because I don't restrict myself, and because I don't allow myself to feel guilty about eating any of these foods they have lost their appeal. I've learned to take the food for granted. If I want it, it's there. It's a psychological shift in my mind that has really worked out.
Doing this also helped me realize something else - that not all food is created equal. In the past I would eat any kind of chocolate. But now I won't. I will only eat really good chocolate, I don't waste my time with hersheys or oreos anymore, not when there is really good chocolate to be had.
Find what works for you. I don't do Intuitive Eating like Wannabeskinny does, but like her I did have to readjust my relationship with food.
I've been doing Weight Watchers. I picked the plan because it doesn't say anything is off limits and more just assigns points values (which for me is more simple than trying to count calories, carbs, sodium, fats, and protein).. so if I want a slice of pizza, I can have it.. it's not off plan, I don't feel guilty. Even on a bad binge day I don't feel guilty anymore.. it's just one day, it's not gonna mess up a lifestyle change.. and really it probably did comfort me in some form.
Now, at the beginning of my diet I did things to keep candy and sweets out of the house. I didn't trust myself around them because in the past I could sit down and eat an entire pack of oreos in one sitting... or a whole bag of fun size candy bars. About a month and a half into my WW plan and candy is in the house again. Boyfriend no longer leaves it at work. Sometime along the way I regained control of myself. I think it has to do with not really labeling food as bad to myself, so there's no guilt associated with it. That doesn't mean that I don't recognize I'll gain weight if I eat it.. but I do recognize that it's just food, it tastes good.. sometimes I'm gonna want a sugary treat, and really there isn't a good substitute (for me based on past experience). So I'll have a jelly bean, or a fun size butterfinger every now and again.. but that's it. That satisfies the craving for me and I'll be done of my own choice.. and that's empowering in a way.
I did have to originally remove the stuff though, while I had time to readjust. Everyone is different.. some people really just don't do well with sweets in the house at all for whatever reason. Find what works for you.
Find what works for you. I don't do Intuitive Eating like Wannabeskinny does, but like her I did have to readjust my relationship with food.
I've been doing Weight Watchers. I picked the plan because it doesn't say anything is off limits and more just assigns points values (which for me is more simple than trying to count calories, carbs, sodium, fats, and protein).. so if I want a slice of pizza, I can have it.. it's not off plan, I don't feel guilty. Even on a bad binge day I don't feel guilty anymore.. it's just one day, it's not gonna mess up a lifestyle change.. and really it probably did comfort me in some form.
Now, at the beginning of my diet I did things to keep candy and sweets out of the house. I didn't trust myself around them because in the past I could sit down and eat an entire pack of oreos in one sitting... or a whole bag of fun size candy bars. About a month and a half into my WW plan and candy is in the house again. Boyfriend no longer leaves it at work. Sometime along the way I regained control of myself. I think it has to do with not really labeling food as bad to myself, so there's no guilt associated with it. That doesn't mean that I don't recognize I'll gain weight if I eat it.. but I do recognize that it's just food, it tastes good.. sometimes I'm gonna want a sugary treat, and really there isn't a good substitute (for me based on past experience). So I'll have a jelly bean, or a fun size butterfinger every now and again.. but that's it. That satisfies the craving for me and I'll be done of my own choice.. and that's empowering in a way.
I did have to originally remove the stuff though, while I had time to readjust. Everyone is different.. some people really just don't do well with sweets in the house at all for whatever reason. Find what works for you.
I know it seems as if we all stand divided based on whatever "plan" we choose to follow but at the end of the day we're all saying the same things. We want to trust ourselves more, we want to have a positive body image and a normal relationship with food, and we don't want to wallow in self hatred over our choices with food. We all want to feel the same things - sanity and freedom.
I agree with sunarie and alot of what Wannabeskinny says as well.
However, I always used to think, 'I want a normal relationship with food so I can eat everything in moderation', like the entire problem was my inability to act normal around all foods. It's all my fault.
Now I have cut myself a little slack and have decided that, just like with men, I only want a serious relationship with some foods, other foods are maybe a little too psychotic to invite into my life (at least on a regular basis). In other words, it's not me, it's HIM.
For example, one "food" I can't seem to act normally around is Swedish Fish, the ingredients of which are:
- Sugar.
- Invert Sugar.
- Corn syrup.
- Modified corn starch.
- Citric acid.
- White Mineral Oil.
- Artificial flavors.
- Coloring (FD&C Red 40 for the red color)
For whatever reason, this combination of ingredients makes me totally crazy pants. Only by extreme acts of will can I control myself around Swedish Fish (and exerting that kind of will is SO freaking unpleasant and exhausting), and I often fail anyway. I've tried and tried and tried to act normally around this item, but it is a no-go. There is nothing fun about eating candy until I feel sick. Better I just don't invite him home, there are plenty of other fish in the sea to have a relationship with after all (ha, see what I did there?).
In the big picture, nothing is off limits if I really want it. But neither do I ignore the plain facts regarding how to make my life easier on a daily basis -- and how to maintain my weight as well. I will have a fling with Swedish Fish again, but he won't be living with me, I don't even care to try that any more. He's more of a one night stand kinda guy.
I do a bunch of different things and use similar ideas to those mentioned above. I don't make any food off limits. I don't(or at least try not to) feel guilt over eating, if anything eating is more neutral for me. I tell myself I am allowed to have as much as I want, whenever I want and just knowing that makes the food less appealing and I realize I don't really want it. As a safe guard I also plan and log my meals ahead of time and if I'm really craving something I either say, "Oh I'll just plan for it tomorrow" or I find a way to work it in.
Also I concentrate on how food makes me feel. I could eat a bunch of candy, but that would make me sick. Its not even the calories or the weight gain that could come, its knowing that my body doesn't want candy right now which means I don't want candy right now.
Of course this stuff doesn't work 100% of the time, but I've had a bowl of my two favorite chocolates sitting on my coffee table for a week and I think I've had a few this whole time but I've never felt like I couldn't control myself since I walk past it all day and don't feel the need to eat them.
Hope you find what works and good luck!
I know it seems as if we all stand divided based on whatever "plan" we choose to follow but at the end of the day we're all saying the same things. We want to trust ourselves more, we want to have a positive body image and a normal relationship with food, and we don't want to wallow in self hatred over our choices with food. We all want to feel the same things - sanity and freedom.
Spot on. I actually always love reading your posts because I can get behind the base message. Our paths to get there may differ, but the goal is the same at the end of the day.
I agree with sunarie and alot of what Wannabeskinny says as well.
However, I always used to think, 'I want a normal relationship with food so I can eat everything in moderation', like the entire problem was my inability to act normal around all foods. It's all my fault.
Now I have cut myself a little slack and have decided that, just like with men, I only want a serious relationship with some foods, other foods are maybe a little too psychotic to invite into my life (at least on a regular basis). In other words, it's not me, it's HIM.
For example, one "food" I can't seem to act normally around is Swedish Fish, the ingredients of which are:
- Sugar.
- Invert Sugar.
- Corn syrup.
- Modified corn starch.
- Citric acid.
- White Mineral Oil.
- Artificial flavors.
- Coloring (FD&C Red 40 for the red color)
For whatever reason, this combination of ingredients makes me totally crazy pants. Only by extreme acts of will can I control myself around Swedish Fish (and exerting that kind of will is SO freaking unpleasant and exhausting), and I often fail anyway. I've tried and tried and tried to act normally around this item, but it is a no-go. There is nothing fun about eating candy until I feel sick. Better I just don't invite him home, there are plenty of other fish in the sea to have a relationship with after all (ha, see what I did there?).
In the big picture, nothing is off limits if I really want it. But neither do I ignore the plain facts regarding how to make my life easier on a daily basis -- and how to maintain my weight as well. I will have a fling with Swedish Fish again, but he won't be living with me, I don't even care to try that any more. He's more of a one night stand kinda guy.
I love this, Snark! Good stuff.
Amy, good luck figuring out your solution. It's been a tough road figuring it out with a big family, making it impossible to ban trigger foods from my home completely. My own solution was to create my own separate menu, different from everyone else. Candy is only an occasional treat limited to dark chocolate covered almonds or something special like that. The kids Halloween candy all looks like unhealthy junk that I'd rather not waste my calories on. I made cookies though and that was a little tough. Luckily the kids mowed them down pretty fast.
I think it's a matter of time. The longer I stay on plan, eating healthy, the easier it is to be choosy about my splurges. Also making sure I have healthy foods ready in the fridge so I am not having to choose between a quick fix and arduous cooking.
IF you cannot have that in the house w/o overindulging.. WHO CARES the reason why.. don't over analyze it and just don't have it in the house and give yourself any grief for it, do what works for you.
I allow myself a junk day once a week and the rest of the week... IF i want to stay on track and keep this slender body, i have to discipline myself and reign it in. i know myself...and that means not bringing a bunch of junk or temptation in.
Mrs Snark I totally agree. It's one thing to allow yourself some freedom around food but it's another thing to set yourself up for failing. I have that same thing with cashews. If I allow myself to eat without thinking I have no sense of when to stop. The sensation of the cashew crumbling on my tongue is too much to resist even way past fullness lol. That's why I pour some in a small bowl and eat them mindfully, trying to extract the most pleasure out of it as I can. But don't let me near the container it I can come up with 10 viable reasons to eat the whole thing.
Thanks everybody for their replies
I loved your comparison to men MrsSnark!
Not buying candy in the first place works very well with it. I don't crave it when I see it in the supermarkets. I just wish I was able to buy a box of whatever sweets and then just take one out of that box and leave the rest alone. I guess even if I don't find a way, it will be ok. No one needs candy. It's just nice at times, in moderation
Doing this also helped me realize something else - that not all food is created equal. In the past I would eat any kind of chocolate. But now I won't. I will only eat really good chocolate, I don't waste my time with hersheys or oreos anymore, not when there is really good chocolate to be had.
While I think wannabeskinny and I have a very different approach to weight loss (I'm calorie counting and have pretty explicitly decided not to trust my body just yet... but yes, I think we do all want that eventually), this bit really describes how I've stopped eating certain foods altogether.
While I wouldn't describe myself as a sweet tooth, I am someone who would have eaten an entire bag of oreos if someone happened to open a bag of oreos in the house. But oreos aren't as filling as some other cookies, and buying myself the finer things has made me appreciate them a whole lot more.
To continue with that example, I now buy a whole grain chocolate chunk cookie that a local bakery makes. They're expensive - $8 for a bag of 6 cookies - but they're AMAZING. The other interesting thing about them is they're filling. After one cookie and a glass of whole milk... okay sometimes two cookies, I feel satisfied. So if someone opened a bag of oreos in my house, I'd remember I have better cookies in the freezer and go for those instead.
I like dark chocolate as much as I like milk chocolate, so after reading about the health benefits of dark chocolate (which are astounding!) I decided there was no reason to eat milk chocolate, but plenty of reason to eat dark. I love it (equally, like I said), but I also have no problems with adding it to the grocery list and keeping a bar at work and another next to the bed. It doesn't have the same craving-more-while-eating-it effect that milk chocolate sometimes has, for me. I do actually have milk chocolate in the house most of the time (I love that Ritter Sport bar with the cornflakes in it), but same as with the cookies, I find I have more reasons to go for the dark chocolate. So I don't usually open the milk chocolate unless my husband wants to share some (like today - and he doesn't like dark chocolate), or if it just seems especially exciting or I want something creamy.
Back to the cookies being filling, and dark chocolate being less craving-ish: I suspect a lot of this is to do with ingredients, like Mrs Snark was saying about the swedish fish. High quality ingredients (as opposed to artificial ingredients and fillers) just seem to function more like food should, and are less confusing for my body, I think.
I also feel like I've managed to really change my preferences when it comes to food. It's something I wouldn't really recommend trying to do directly, because it sounds likely to backfire. But if you can achieve it in an indirect way maybe it would work for you too. Trying some new, higher quality versions of the foods you like might be a good start. Or might not. But maybe it's worth a try?
I couldn't have anything that was a 'treat' around in the house for a start -heck I couldn't even trust myself to go get groceries for a start!! But now, no dramas at all its like it just loses its hold over over you or something?? I do say to myself 'Am I going to feel good about this choice afterwards?' and if the answer is no, I just don't eat it. Been a long hard road to this point though!
IF you cannot have that in the house w/o overindulging.. WHO CARES the reason why.. don't over analyze it and just don't have it in the house and give yourself any grief for it, do what works for you.
I allow myself a junk day once a week and the rest of the week... IF i want to stay on track and keep this slender body, i have to discipline myself and reign it in. i know myself...and that means not bringing a bunch of junk or temptation in.
I agree with this. While I am being way more relaxed now because of the holidays and pregnancy, truth be told I just cannot have certain things in the house. Abstaining from sugar helps me reduce cravings but some things just will not last here. I'm ok with not eating processed cookies and cakes. Thankfully I've gotten spoiled with homemade. But you mentioned candy, and their are just certain candies, one being peanut m&ms that I cannot eat in moderation. I want to and I've tried many methods to do so, but none were full proof. Some helped but when I was nearer my goal weight, if I wanted to continue to lose and keep the body I worked so hard for, having m&ms in the house just worked against that. The lighter you get, the bigger an extra 100-200 calories makes on weight loss. I was sabotaging myself by thinking I could buy them and find a way to eat them as a treat.
So typically I kept all my treats outside the house. If I went to a party and they had M&m bowls I had some. Dessert after meals out which happen about twice a year here. Bday parties etc. Out side the home I ate as I please, not binge, because I just cannot over eat in public. But I didn't feel restricted at a party or what ever.
I agree if your goal is weight loss, then keep them out of the house .If your goal is to change your relationship with food where you can have it in the house with over eating it, then work towards that. But pursuing the latter will likely hinder or slow the first (weight loss). For me, my secondary goal was to have a lean, fit healthy body, my secondary goal was to heal my issues with food. So that's why I did what I did. Now I'm just trying to get through pregnancy without an insane gain!!
How to learn to have candy in the house
