How do you deal with people who seem to have strong reactions or pay close atention to what you eat? At the office, at family meetings, I'm finding there's always a few people who feel my eating habits affects them a great deal. The fact that i'm eating healthier food and exercising appears to be annoying some people. Examples: 1 At work a co-worker seems to get ofended whenever I say i'm full and won't have another piece of her special passion fruit cake - which is delicious, by the way. 2 Every time an specific colleague sees me eating he'll either ask "is that ALL you're eating?" or "Are you eating ALL this food?". I answer yes. Then, if i have dessert, he'll go on an on about how big or small my lunch was and how the size of my meal relates to the fact that i'm having dessert. 3 A friend told me it's self righteous of me to eat that healthy (!)
I'm not one of those people who will go on and on about my new eating habits and making people uncomfortable. I am discrete and answer to any questions i get as long as they are polite. Not sure how to deal with this...
Last edited by Marina Brasil; 10-16-2014 at 02:59 PM.
Don't sweat it. If you want to reply, say, "And this bothers you because...???" Toss it back. But go on doing what you're doing and release it. Life's short.
If you start talking at length about the health benefits of what you are eating, they generally shut up and never mention it again.
I eat a lot of fish. Some people notice I eat a lot of fish and talk to me about it. I go on and on about protein, omega 3s and how that helps my body building and that fish is a great source of minerals and calcium but you have to watch the mercury and PCBs so I prefer to eat lower down the food chain and limit my consumption of swordfish, tuna, shark and tile mackeral and whale...but I have never had whale, I'd like to try it, may have to go to Japan some day....and that it's good to find sustainable wild caught sources like Alaskan salmon but some farmed sources are good too like for oysters and mussels and that I eat 500lbs of fish a year which is five times more than the average Japanese person...and I go on and on and on and on.
I think sometimes at work people get sort of bored and latch on to something new to talk about or pay attention to, in time they get used to it and/or someone else changes something and they latch on to that.
I kind of got away from the communal eating because of similar circumstances, if it really makes you uncomfortable you might want to ease into some different ways of eating or not eating around others.
I think I'd tell my friend it's self preservation.
I just look them straight in the eye and say that what I eat is not up for discussion. I'm happy to talk about other things though. It might come on a little strong, but it usually does the trick.
I hate the FOOD POLICE... Just because I am eating this during the 15 minutes that I am actually around the FOOD POLICE does not mean it is what I eat every day or every meal or any other meal for that matter and certainly not 365 days a year, 24 hours a day... So to comment that I eat so much or so little or so this or so that is pretty ridiculous - FOOD POLICE suck because they really have no clue and no basis on which to make their comments since they only have a mini snapshot of my life and eating....
Isn't it bad enough that we have the food police in our own head sometimes? It's nutty that other people react to what we eat. The most important thing is to not allow them to affect you. If someone approaches you benignly just smile and nod. If someone approaches you consistently though I would simply ignore ignore ignore, act like you didn't hear them. If they confront you about it simply say "why are you always making comments about what I'm eating?" It will make them realize that it's weird and inappropriate.
You really can't control people. But you also do NOT need to engage in a conversation with them about something that is none of their business. Just remember that if you are questioned about your food that it doesn't turn on your own food police inside your head. You don't need to question yourself.
Examples: 1 At work a co-worker seems to get ofended whenever I say i'm full and won't have another piece of her special passion fruit cake - which is delicious, by the way.
I agree with all the others who suggest not defending or explaining your WOE. Just shrug and keep doing what you do.
The only thing that MIGHT annoy me (and that's just me) is someone telling me they're too full to keep eating. I know it's irrational, but I would probably think, "You'd probably love to have another piece, but you're just pretending to be too full." I'm not saying there's anything at all wrong with declaring you're full, just sharing my gut reaction. As an alternative, you could simply say, "Thanks, but I'm done."
F.
Last edited by freelancemomma; 10-17-2014 at 09:39 AM.
Just give them a blank stare and change the subject. If they push, tell them that what goes into THEIR mouths is their business, but your food is not.
DECADES ago - could it be about 35 years? - i was doing very well on WW. we had a little party in my work group, and there were DONUTS. I ignored them, and thanked my supervisor after he offered me one. and he kept after me - c'mon, aren't they nice? they taste good. don't you want one? are you SURE you don't want one?
and on and on and on. i finally moved away to a farther section of the room. HE FOLLOWED ME with the donuts! I finally snapped and said something along the lines of leave me alone! i've told you NO, take them away!
and do you believe - he got angry with me!!! i was rude - i was disrespectful - all he was doing was testing my will power! And i answered with HIS rudeness, and the fact that my will power was none of his business.
Ugh. I have to deal with this often. I volunteer nothing about my healthier lifestyle. It's almost as if some people are watching me and surprised I have kept my weight off. People watching what I eat and how much gets so annoying!
Just on Thanksgiving (this past Monday) I had to deal with someone that kept on offering me more and more food even though my plate was full.
For dessert she gave me the biggest slice of cheesecake even though I asked for a smaller piece. I cut it in half and gave it to someone else in front of her. She's an older/important person in my life so I need to respect her, but I just smile say "no thank you", "thanks I'm good", "If I want something else I will grab it, but thank you", i'm all set for now" etc.
I've learned to never say "I'm full" because I still may want to eat. Also saying "maybe later" or "not now" will just keep the comments coming later on.
Changing the subject works some times, but not every time. If it was someone else I would speak up and let them know what was on my mind in private. I was hoping things would have died down by now, but it hasn't so I have to just deal with it. *Shrugs*
I say "no, thank you" and keep it moving. Most people get the idea after some time (sometimes after years of declining!).
I pretty much always do this, and just the other day when my coworker was making her usual rounds with the popcorn, she skipped my office and I overheard her say, "She doesn't eat popcorn." Haha! That only took a year and a half...
I LOVE popcorn, but I'm happy to have them think I don't eat it
I used to do this, and I refer to my old habits as "Fat Logic." It's a way for someone who is not making positive changes in their life to be able to feel better about themselves. If they can convince themselves that you are not doing it right, well then they must be doing it right.
What really pisses me off is when I save enough calories so that I can have a treat and people have the nerve to comment about it when I'm 100% sure I've eaten less than and more healthily than them. The only thing that makes me more upset is when people comment on how good I'm eating or how happy it makes them or that I better keep it up or else this and this and this will happen.
My parents raised my sister and I vegetarian so I've been answering to the food police my whole life. It's disgusting how many parents would try to trick/force me into eating meat or tell me why my mom was wrong.
I do not like people commenting on anything I do or don't put inside my body.
2 Every time an specific colleague sees me eating he'll either ask "is that ALL you're eating?" or "Are you eating ALL this food?". I answer yes. Then, if i have dessert, he'll go on an on about how big or small my lunch was and how the size of my meal relates to the fact that i'm having dessert.
In this particular case, I would find a moment to talk quietly to this person and explain that I don't think his comments about my food choices are appropriate. The first example you gave was a regular sort of response in my opinion, but this kind of nosiness and attention to your eating habits is out of line. You have made a decision about how to eat, and your choices don't have to be the same as his choices. Also, he doesn't know what you had for breakfast or what you are planning to have for dinner I'm assuming, so he doesn't have the context to know what your plan is for the whole day.
I wouldn't confront him in front of people. I'd drop by his desk during a quiet time and just say "hey, I'm glad you care about my health, but it makes me uncomfortable to talk about the food choices I make." Or something along those lines.
As for your friend calling you self righteous, that's just jealousy and/or self centredness in my mind. She wants to be eating like you are, but doesn't have the self control right now to do it, or just doesn't believe in herself. My response would just be "I'm not trying to tell anybody else what to eat... I just decided to try to be healthy and see how it goes" but honestly, I don't have friends like that, because I don't hang around with people who take everything personally that way.
The first example about saying you're full when cake is offered? That I run into all the time. I just say "oh, not today, but thanks so much for offering me some." And if they push i might give a reason, like today I was offered pastries and I said "haha I just ate an entire bar of dark chocolate" which was true But that's a pretty normal thing to run into, so I just suck it up and stick to my guns.
How to deal with the food patrol?
But that's a pretty normal thing to run into, so I just suck it up and stick to my guns.
