I need to completely let go of the scale and I'm writing a Dear John letter to symbolize. Is anyone with me??
I've managed to release myself from the bondage of calorie apps, taking my measurements, using the food scale, and exercise logs. But I haven't been able to get rid of the scale. I have begun to realize that there is nothing the scale can tell me that results to anything positive. If the number goes up I feel like a failure and it leads me to a binge. If the number goes down it makes me feel pressure to continue losing weight which also leads to a binge. Nothing comes from stepping on the scale but self torture and an imbalance of my mood.
So..... I have to let go of it. I'm so scared to do it! But it's undeniable that when I look back at my history the more I weighed myself the more I weighed. There are a number of years I did not use the scale and did not have an out of control weight problem. I have no idea what I weighed on my wedding day. I can see from pictures that I wasn't skinny, but I remember feeling beautiful and sexy and had no need of a scale to tell me so. So here's my Dear John Letter to my scale.
Dear Scale,
I want to thank you for being a trusted companion to me throughout these years. You wait for me patiently every Monday morning and have been truthful with me every time I step on you. I've grown to love and dread Monday mornings and so I must stop relying on you so much. Your side of the story has grown to be too black and white. You either tell me something good or something bad, and I know there is much more to the story than what you say. My Monday mornings now turn into panic rather than excitement no matter which way you tip. Like training wheels I feel I have outgrown the need to use you. It's time for me to start trusting myself and listening to what my body has to say instead. You may not have a final say in how I feel about myself. I do not need validation from you that I'm doing something right and I certainly do not need a scolding from you when I've done something wrong. There is no room for you in my life anymore. I will miss your constant companionship but I will try to visit you every couple of months for old time's sake. Please enjoy your new surroundings in the garage. I need space in my closet for my new shoes.
Last edited by Palestrina; 09-25-2014 at 07:29 AM.
Yes, yes and YES!!! I wrote a whole post on it back in July. I actually destroyed my scale, though. lol
Wow, what an amazing post! I especially like what you say here "A bad weigh-in means I have to really lock down on my food choices and focus solely on that. A good weigh in means that while I’m in a great mood, I need to stay hyper vigilant to keep control and not blow it all."
I think that's the worst part of it for me too. There is nothing that the scale tells me that doesn't impact me in a negative way. It's almost easier when the scale goes up, because defeat and self hatred are commonplace in my life, I can do that. But a loss? Even a couple of pounds loss make me so scared! Scared that I'll gain it back, scared that it signals that I need to do more, to keep going, to get extra rigid. The pressure is too much.
Ugh, I have a confession. I stepped on a scale yesterday! I don't know how or why it happened. I took my kid to the doctor and we were waiting for the doctor to come in and my son was stepping on and off the scale. Suddenly I was standing on the scale.
It had been a week since I hid my scale and although it's been hard it's been doable. I had no intention of weighing myself when I stepped on that scale. The number.... well it was the same as last time I had stepped on it in my house and that led to all the thoughts I've been afraid of. "if the number is the same that must mean I lost weight because here I am standing with clothes and shoes and a belly full of breakfast! Which means this not weighing myself thing is working! Keep it up, eat less today, eat less today!"
I'm not angry with myself I'm more annoyed than anything to have met a scale so unexpectedly and witness how susceptible I am.
Haha was going to suggest the only solution was to detroy it like 'So much fattitude' then I read on and saw it was in the surgery, doh. Scales are everywhere...
Haha! Yep - I tried hiding mine awhile back. That didn't work. I tried having my husband hide it. Him hiding it only made us fight when he wouldn't tell me where it was, so that wasn't healthy. It's a true addiction. Much like an alcoholic probably doesn't keep a stocked bar in their house, I'm not tempting myself with a scale.
I will say, now that I'm back on Weight Watchers, it seems much easier without a scale at home. I weigh in once a week and that's it.
Last edited by SoMuchFattitude; 10-01-2014 at 08:04 AM.
I'm not ready to formally break up with the scale yet, but as I recently realized the last few years of slowly gaining weight has meant the triggering of my BED (which perpetuates the weight gain further), I've reigned it in. I haven't weighed myself since Monday and I both do and do not want to know where I'm at. I know as soon as I weigh in I'm going to have to fight not to do it again an hour later, especially if the number isn't what I want to see. For now I want to focus on my feelings and my hunger and let my body do what it will.
I'm not ready to formally break up with the scale yet, but as I recently realized the last few years of slowly gaining weight has meant the triggering of my BED (which perpetuates the weight gain further), I've reigned it in. I haven't weighed myself since Monday and I both do and do not want to know where I'm at. I know as soon as I weigh in I'm going to have to fight not to do it again an hour later, especially if the number isn't what I want to see. For now I want to focus on my feelings and my hunger and let my body do what it will.
There's an intuitive eating thread you may like to join, your posts make me think that you are an IEer.
So far so good I feel much calmer when I have prolonged periods of time that I'm not weighing. It's very interesting that it makes me much more attuned with other ways of feeling a difference. It sharpens all my other senses. The past couple of weeks I've weighed myself 3 times and that's a lot, it's also indicative that I have a lot on my mind and feeling frustrated about things going on in my life, therefore I cling to old habits like weighing myself. Some I my dieting behaviors that arise grow strictly out of anxiety and stress as if I'm straining for control.
Even if you can't do it for very long, it's an interesting experiment to keep the sale away for a while. It teaches you things about yourself you wouldn't know unless you did it.
Nice! Right before I left Europe I threw out mine and haven't really weighed myself since last summer. I thought about it sometimes but I want to see if its possible to maintain my lifestyle and size without the motivation of a scale reading. Just took pics, the blue shirt was me last summer and the dark shirt is me today. I'm far from being consistent, but I am learning that its possible to be able to be where I want to be as long as I try even without a scale.
I think that's the worst part of it for me too. There is nothing that the scale tells me that doesn't impact me in a negative way. It's almost easier when the scale goes up, because defeat and self hatred are commonplace in my life, I can do that. But a loss? Even a couple of pounds loss make me so scared! Scared that I'll gain it back, scared that it signals that I need to do more, to keep going, to get extra rigid. The pressure is too much.
To preface this: I like your choice to ditch the scale, since it sounds like it might help you continue on your healthy path in a really holistic way that's true to yourself. I'm repeatedly impressed by your ability to make choices that work well for you, and I truly think you are an inspiration to people who want to improve their relationship with food.
But I find this whole thread odd... it seems at odds with you, from my perspective. True, I don't really know you; I've only had peeks in from the outside via forum posts... but this thread surprised me.
Your weight is an aspect of your body that there's no inherent harm in knowing. Clearly it causes you some harm, but so did food at one point, because it was misused. So just like you've improved your relationship with food, I would have expected you would prefer to improve your relationship with your scale rather than toss it by the wayside.
In conjunction with other things, your scale can give indicators about your health and well-being. It can help reinforce and explain your internal feelings so you can make decisions about your health. It can be your friend if you are able to use the number in a different way - not as a way to deride or motivate yourself.
Anyway, like I was saying: Do what works for you, because your track record is pretty great and you know what's best for you. I just wanted to express my surprise.
Breaking up with the scale
