How did you fix your eating, your habits, and overall how did you get into that mental state of "No more playing around, time to really lose weight"? What things motivated and helped you throughout the whole process (not just the beginning)?
The most important thing I did was to let go of these thoughts ^^^^
No more playing around? Time to really lose weight? Thinking this way only indicates that my life has been a joke so far. And it hasn't. Food played a substantial role in my life, it was my fun, reward, emotional stability, comfort, it was my everything. That's not a laughing matter, that's an eating disorder. And of course the last thing an eating disorder needs is a diet. Sorry, diets just don't fix disordered eating. You can't motivate them away, you can't discipline them away, you can't willpower them away. And if you depend on food to make you happy then you can't deprive yourself of it, that just leads to gaining all the weight back.
Now I focus on attending to all my body's needs, listening to my body's cues, and paying really close attention to meeting my emotional needs. I do not diet, I eat all the things I like. I have no discipline, nor do I need it to eat. I just naturally eat very little now and prefer healthy foods.
So to answer your question, what I did that was different this time than any other time is I really sat and asked myself this question. "In 5 yrs time, what kind of eater do I want to be?" Which made me realize that I don't want to diet, restrict, abstain, feel guilt, or exhibit discipline over my eating. I just want to be a normal eater.
In the beginning things are hard, posting here and realizing you need to make a change and the things you need to work on is a big first step. Be proud of yourself that you started.
For me, trying to exercise, eat healthy and stay on plan all at the same time was a bit overwhelming. I basically picked one thing and focused on it until it became a big.
my diet is a mix of low carb/paleo..so to start I elimated soda and juice, then rice then potatoes then pasta.
I have myself a challenge of 15 min of exercise 2-3 days a week. It could be more....
I also realized I hated walking. I can tolerate the treadmill if I have to, but generally I avoid it. I'm not interested in the elliptical at all. I don't like getting up early, I don't like high impact cardio.
I do love anything involving weights. I need a varied workout, too much repetition and I get bored.
I tend to stick to workouts at home or after work that involves weights. I have a gym membership and do anything from aqua robics to strength work outs
My point in all this is, find what works for YOU....start with something small and don't worry about the scale..work on maybe walking a little more it doesn't have to be 50 min. Do a consistent 20 min....
Eating healthy can also be just be smaller portions and NOT eating something...
Either way good luck, and YOU CAN DO IT
Last edited by Obsidianbbw; 09-02-2014 at 09:21 AM.
I hear what you are saying, wannabeskinny. I actually resonate quite strongly now with the intuitive way of eating as opposed to "dieting". I prefer to listen to the cues of my body. I actually stay much more balanced this way. What can be challenging is getting to that point. When we have put loads of toxins in our bodies for so long (in the form of excess sugar, preservatives, junk food, etc), it appears as if it is what the body is craving. It somewhat muffles our true signals to what our body really wants/needs. Detoxifying the body gently is a good start to becoming more in tune with its needs. At least this has been my experience. Something to think about OP.
bugsiee Just the fact that you're posting this here is a good sign. You obviously have the will! But maybe you just haven't found the way yet. I would encourage you to try to find a way of eating that won't only help you lost weight, but also maintain it when you get there. You've been able to lose the weight before, but you know that maintenance is difficult! It may be worthwhile for you to read through some of this forum (or elsewhere on the internet!) for ideas on what may work for your long term.
Setting some small and large goals can be really helpful, too. I like the monthly challenges on this board for exercise and weight loss goals. It helps keep me on track and makes my long term goals feel more manageable. You'll obviously have to figure out what works best for you, but that's my two cents so far. Sending you tons of encouragement!!!
"No playing around" sounds way too punitive to me. Life needs to include play, including in the realm of eating, IMO.
What worked and continues to work for me is the 80/20 mindset: 80% healthy, 20% whatever. My whatever is more about gourmet food than junk food. I also prefer breakfast and lunch to dinner, so I have a relatively large breakfast and lunch and a small dinner (usually a bowl of freshly cooked veggie-based stirfry). Dinner is the only meal in which I limit carbs. I'm not a potato or rice kind of girl, so it's no sacrifice. I have bread or other wheat-based products just about every breakfast and lunch.
I've also found that exercising moderately 4 times per week is sustainable for me. Any more than that becomes a burden. Exercising regularly allows me to consume 2,000 cals per day without gaining weight, and I'm 57.
So what I'm saying is that I work WITH my natural inclinations, rather than against them. I seek to find the LEAST RESTRICTIVE eating/exercise regimen that enables me to sustain my weight loss.
My health was in really bad shape and i had the "no more playing around" moment when i hit a weight in which i felt like i was choking all the time due to the fat on my neck. No more feeling like that, no more settling for anything less than feeling good, no more pain, no more eating till feeling sick and so on. Looks was not one at the top of my list this time. What has helped me and still is was losing weight slowly and not depriving myself of anything. Portion control really helps. Some days i feel like eating the whole world and watching tv all night long but i exercise anyway, because i found out i can't do everything i feel like doing all the time. Discipline brought me a strange and delicious liberty that is quite new. I was very condescending with myself. If i was feeling down i would not exercise for days.... now i may exercise a bit less or skip one day or two once in a while, but those are exceptions. I also have days in which i binge eat, but it's rare now. When it happens, when anything that may be considered "falling of the wagon" happens i just pick myself up and go back to eating healthy. Never giving up is what's helped me the most. If i ate anything that wasn't planned i would give up and ruin the rest of the day or week... you see, if i wasn't perfect i'd just give up on everything.... THAT changed.
Last edited by Marina Brasil; 09-02-2014 at 03:23 PM.
A big thing for me was learning to enjoy it. Sure, it starts hard by cutting the foods that are bad for you but tasty and even the ones you think (often wrongly) are bad for you. And exercise is tough at the beginning too.
But once you find the foods that work for you, you can eat a lot more and even enjoy the new foods more than the old. And exercise after a while becomes more a joy than a chore.
So, it should be less about "I am going to do this" and more about "What the heck took me so long?".
I am in a place now where I eat tons of tasty stuff that is great for my body. And I exercise a lot too which makes me look (relatively) and feel great and busts my anxiety.
There is no sacrifice in any of that. It's become a hobby.
finding healthy things that I LIKE has been a life-saver....if i never see another salad, it will be too soon because in past weight loss attempts, i lived on that stuff....like someone above said, 80% good choices and 20% whatever....my "whatevers" tend to be sweets almost entirely....and making habits out of the 80% good choices helps me because i need habits and structure...right now my breakfasts tend to be either a yogurt or a couple eggs....today it was leftover cookies from the kids lunches...BUT that's not my habit and tomorrow I will eat my usual better choices
i started this ongoing weight loss journey after seeing blood sugar test results that had me in the prediabetic range....losing weight took me out of testing as prediabetic BUT i know that disease is just lurking around the corner if I ever let my weight get out of control
finding healthy things that I LIKE has been a life-saver....if i never see another salad, it will be too soon because in past weight loss attempts, i lived on that stuff...
Don't feel bad that you don't like salads. For years I tried to force myself to eat a side salad every night with dinner. I hated it!! I couldn't imagine why everyone just loves loves loves salads. Bleh!! But oh the amount of guilt I felt over it. I thought to force myself to eat them and hoped that it would eventually become something I would fall in love with. Nope. So I decided to give up on salads. Instead of a side salad I would make a side dish of cooked vegetables. Roasted veggies, steamed broccoli, that type of thing. I love it, and so it worked out well. It turns out that I love vegetables, I just hate hold salad along with my hot meal. It's about the temperature and the side by side textures of salad. As IF I'm going to pause eating a hot steak to eat a cold tomato. No!
And then once I relieved myself of the guilt of not liking salads something remarkable happened. I started craving salad. No, not a side salad, but an entree salad! Isn't that something? I love a good entree salad, a whole bowl of crunchy yummy cold goodness with all my favorite ingredients. Life is so much fun.
I'm still against the side salad though. Sorry to derail, but I suppose that is a sort of obstacle I had to overcome.
Last edited by Palestrina; 09-02-2014 at 06:28 PM.
I also try to walk, but it's hard to continue everyday. Why? I..... don't.... exactly know. About 5 days ago, I walked 50 mins, yesterday walked for 15, and that's it. I'm not very good with doing things on a regular basis.
I found this sad. While I agree diet makes up a larger component of weight loss, exercise is what makes people more likely adhere to their diets. And it improves mood.
You are at school, so you don't study on a regular basis? Fit in exercise like you do with studying. No excuses for not doing your minimum amount of activity. Is there a walking or running club in your school? The accountability may help you.
I found this sad. While I agree diet makes up a larger component of weight loss, exercise is what makes people more likely adhere to their diets. And it improves mood.
You are at school, so you don't study on a regular basis? Fit in exercise like you do with studying. No excuses for not doing your minimum amount of activity. Is there a walking or running club in your school? The accountability may help you.
I think it is easier when people find something that actually interests them. Walking can be rather boring.
Do you have a gym available at your school? Intramural sports? Bike riding?
I think what's making it manageable for me this time is that I'm trying to make it happen one goal at a time.
So the first couple days I said, "no more empty calorie drinks, focus on water." Just having one small goal instead of 10 or 20 goals made it easy. My goal was to drink half my body weight in ounces. Because I spent so much time just trying to keep hydrated, I think a couple lbs just came off from that this week.
Then I said, ok I know I don't eat enough veggies, what if I try to incorporate one veggie into each meal? Didn't have to be a salad, that's over achieving. Instead of chips, some celery with peanut butter.
I've only been doing this a week and I'm down 4 lbs!
So instead of trying all these crazy overwhelming goals that may burn you out.... Try 1 goal.
Secondly, I relate of so much of what was said. One thing I notice in me is how certain foods effect me mentally and aids in depression. Foods are chemicals and those chemicals can cause side effects. Carby sugary foods put me out like a sleeping pill, sluggish, confused, no energy and depression follows.
It is interesting how I can eat something and wait for the "test results", in which I mean, how do I feel 30 minutes later, good? bad? neutral? every one is different and things effect us differently. It could be as simple as a bad reaction to certain foods.
As far as exercise I agree about finding what you like and enjoy. I also like to lift weights, and stretch. I feel good afterward. I'm not much on walking because of knee and hip pain but I can flap my arms around, lift my legs up, get my body moving in other ways.
First of all, all of you have helped me, believe it or not. So thank you.
As for my response, it's funny because I WAS there once. I was eating well to the point where I easily rejected junk food and didn't crave. I enjoyed salads daily, I took into consideration the things I ate (not obsessively, just like "Well, this is not good. Hm, maybe I'll have something else.") And some people might disagree with this, but I, for the first time in my life, was living a healthy lifestyle imo. And whether it was my change of diet, or seeing the numbers go down on the scale, or both, I was in a happy place. The hardest part of this all is knowing that I once had that and could do it, if only I "could" do it, you know? At this point, it seems like I can't as much as I try. I can even make a list of all the things I did and SEE it all written out on a piece of paper-the best, for lack of a better term, WEIGHT LOSS GUIDE (specifically designed just for me)..... and it's just so hard to go back to that. And that was the only thing that ever helped me lose weight, so all these tips and tricks websites and books, and doctors have to offer have done nothing for me. I've tried them all.
As for the NO MORE JOKING comment I made, I meant where was the point in the "weight loss journey" where you officially began losing weight that one time (or one of those times) you DID lose all that weight. I can guess that most people who has lost weight has had that moment, because I'm 99% sure most people here, even in this thread alone, have tried to lose weight over and over and over and finally, after so many attempts, they managed to find it in them or something to lose 10 lb, 20 lb, 30 lb.. etc. And if you haven't reached that moment, not giving up will eventually work (I know it and good luck to me. Hoping I can, too. ) I hate dieting as well and am a strong believer that "dieting" isn't the way to weight loss. And like wannabeskinny said about dismissing thoughts like that, telling yourself it will work this time ends up not meaning anything and you're absolutely right about not thinking that way, at least for me. But sometimes for some people, there's a moment where it all clicks and they find the motivation to push through (similar to what happened to me, I can even name the date where I began losing those 100+ lb).
Also, I haven't been the most active user here. Seeing people succeed and join the monthly challenges with results month after month is a little depressing to me. Not in a horrible way, just it's like... I feel I don't belong because right now, I have nothing to offer and success stories just remind me of something that feels like I'll never have. Then part of all this, including all the replies here, also remind me I CAN do it, not sure how yet, but I just know I can. I'm in a negative place right now and I can admit that. And yes, this was my first time reaching out for help. I know it seems like I'm complaining and sure I am, because when you're in a difficult spot, trying this much drains the energy out of you and you just feel defeated.. not to mention everything else that life is throwing at you.
What are some weight loss struggles that you have overcome & learned from?
because in past weight loss attempts, i lived on that stuff....like someone above said, 80% good choices and 20% whatever....my "whatevers" tend to be sweets almost entirely....and making habits out of the 80% good choices helps me because i need habits and structure...right now my breakfasts tend to be either a yogurt or a couple eggs....today it was leftover cookies from the kids lunches...BUT that's not my habit and tomorrow I will eat my usual better choices
