New Post, New day of accountability!
Good morning all! My name is Jodie and I have been a little chunky since 1st grade or so. I had some terrible things happen to me, and have always been hiding behind some form of weight issue. I have probably lost and gained enough weight to equal and elephant. I am on the cusp of 40 years old, 66"/ 270#/ 122 kg.
Two years ago I was in some of the best shape of my life. I discovered that I loved to jog/run. I enjoyed receiving the t shirt at the end and wearing it with pride. My crowning moment was when I ran a 1/2 marathon. I still have the medal hanging in my bathroom as a reminder. Now, it's a painful reminder of just how fat I have become.
Also two years ago I decided to return to school and continue my education. I had to quit my job, which I loved, and had to dive into one of the hardest programs and things I have ever done in my life. I have a good friend that attended the same program with me and she just so happens to be overweight. We spiraled together. All in all I put on 50 pounds! Terrible, right?
It's been a year since I finished school, and I still find myself pining for my old job and old boss. Unfortunately I am over qualified for my previous job. We fit well together and I know that I am depressed that I haven't found a job that I really enjoyed yet. I know that my job situation has SO much to do with why I am so unhappy. I also need to mourn the loss of a job that I really did love and was great at.
The 50 pounds I have put on have made me miserable. I find that I have to shop in the fat person section, my Victoria's Secret panties don't fit like they should and that I don't enjoy many activities now. I have given myself high cholesterol, high blood pressure and I'm sure that I have mild sleep apnea as I can't sleep on my back anymore.
I don't even want to get dressed for some events because the only thing that fits are my capris and a couple of shirts that I'm sure people are wondering if they are my only clothes! I think the area that most disgusts me is my gut! It's gross, it flops on the bed when I lay on my side. I know I am pretty, but this weight and unhappiness is dragging me down.
I find keeping a journal very cathartic and thought this web site would be a great catalyst and support for my journey. I hope to meet many of you as I start and hopefully my writing on here, will be a great support to me.
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