Looking back over the past 13 years I've noticed that for every ten pounds I gained - I seem to lose the same in self esteem. I feel like I have this "oh the good ol days" mentality and I associate it with being thinner. Much thinner. Well I was also a lot younger. So - I wonder if I lost the weight I gained would the old self confidence come back or is more tied to age.
Bottom line - getting older is hard enough but gaining 10 pounds a year makes it a double whammy. I just always seem to say "I wish it were like it used to be" if I see and old photo. But - I remember back to when those photos were taken and I thought I was fat BACK THEN. Now - I'm wishing for those days???
I wish I could feel what it feels like to be 100 pounds lighter so I could see if it's worth it. The other crazy thing about where I am right now is I am miserable but I still chose to eat like crap most days. Completely going against (what I identify) as the biggest problem in my life. I swear we (I) make weight loss so complicated. The reality is I am so "hooked on food" that i can't stop eating poorly even though I make a resolution to do so on a daily basis.
Pretty sad. I hope that I can get the ball rolling someday. Sorry to be a downer....
It was definitely the weight for me, and what I noticed was that the girls that used makeup well (myself included) were often struggling with their weight too. I would keep my skin very clean and master the art of makeup to make myself feel pretty and try to ignore the weight and knowing that age will only go downhill from here.
Switching to the right foods really changed my perspective on things. I feel like going to the park and going up and down really steep hills. I have so much energy and I'm just happy. I wake up early and want to do things. Not to mention losing weight and never feeling hungry. It boiled down to what I was eating. I have a huge sweet tooth and it was getting me into trouble. The biggest thing for me is making sure I am not eating any sugar or food that turns into sugar (grains and bread) other than fruit and a piece of dark chocolate. I am still overweight, but the little I have already lost has boosted my confidence so much. I feel genuinely happy. The only thing that has changed is the food. I was probably sugar crashing for 3 years straight until very recently. So I think it takes finding your vice (for my husband it is whole grain breads and ice cream, for me it was pasta and cookies) and then think to yourself, I could have that, but choose not to. And then stay full. If you are hungry and you have the cravings, there is no amount of willpower to keep you from it, and bottom line it is just cruel to yourself. If it makes you feel happy and have energy, you are probably on the right path
That's how it works for me, anyway.
Last edited by LePetitPapillon; 07-19-2014 at 12:23 AM.
Weightloss has little to do with self esteem. I know lots of skinny folk who have low self esteem. The cause of low self esteem is not liking yourself. There's lots of reasons people withhold their own affection, weight is only one of them. If you continuously tell yourself that you can only be happy of you're 130lbs then you are withholding your self love. It's a form of self abuse. Many people reach their weightloss goal and find out their lives didnt suddenly become perfect.
I've worked really hard to change my perception of myself. I spent too long hating the girl in the mirror and calling her vile names. Why on earth should I hate her thighs so much? They're strong and powerful. Be kind, be gentle, and tear yourself with the love you deserve.
I'm 55 years old. I can't get any younger, but I can lose weight. When you lose weight you can gain self confidence and that in turn changes the way people respond to you. I have to say that I am a young 55 year old, because my job involves working with younger coworkers. I also dress young and don't take myself seriously.
I also take care of my skin, color my gray hair, and wear makeup which takes ten years off my appearance, which is another thing one can control to look and feel young.
But with old age comes wisdom and I can tell you that there are miserable fat people and miserable skinny people. It is all a head game. Smile and the world smiles with you; cry and you cry alone. An old cliche but I have found to be true.
Hang in there, and enjoy the life you have.
Last edited by Serenity100; 07-19-2014 at 10:11 AM.
Nostalgia is a wicked trap. You can't be twenty two again, just as a 22 year old can't be 10 again. That person no longer exists in the physical world. Only in memory. When or if that memory is so strong that it sabotauges your efforts to become healthy, that's when you need to have a good talking to yourself.
Losing weight is about saving yourself now, so that you can be whoever you are now. It is not a time machine. Id certainly like the same body I had at 18, but Id be in my mid fifties. Sure, I understand this.
I've seen some fabulous transformations happen on this site. That takes dedication, commitment, dicipline, and struggling with deamons: inner naysayers, taunting parents, nasty bullies from school. All those people are gone. They are trapped in your head, just like the image of yourself at some perfect age of youth. But you can't go back again!
I keep going back to the life of the Buddah. Before making progress to the next step, you need to face, and overcome all those things that are keeping you back. I wish you the best on your journey. Giselle
You definately need to try to lose weight so you could see whether it will bring you self-confidence or not! i am sure it's totally worth of try. you surely will feel healtier and better, and will look younger;-) i wish you good luck!
I think it's both for me but more about the weight. I feel like Eddie Murphy in that skit where he's disguised as a white guy so he gets the white guy treatment (offered a beer on the bus, not expected to pay for anything, etc) and is shocked by it. In the last week I think I've been hit on by three or four guys including one barely more than half my age who asked me for my phone number while we were stopped at a red light (I thought that kind of stuff only happened in the movies! lol). At any rate, I swear life is just a big party now, maybe it has been all along but I'm not off somewhere trying to hide anymore.
I totally get the pain in your post, btw. I was THERE for a good long time. If I can dig out of that hole, I swear there is hope for you. I struggled mightily (and still do, though it has gotten easier ) w bad food addiction issues. It can be done and it will feel great WHEN you do it.
I hear you too, Wannabeskinny. I think I did not love myself much at all when I was heavy. I am pretty proud of myself for how far I've come and how hard I've worked. Maybe that got me over some hump. I do feel so, so much better about myself in all sorts of ways, though.
Should give you some fire to move forward and find out yourself. It will be quite the journey.
"Losing weight is hard. Maintaining weight is hard. Staying overweight is hard. Choose your hard"
Last edited by TheSatinPumpkin; 07-20-2014 at 02:06 PM.
Self Esteem: Is it aging or eating?
