[superfluous]

OK, I saw the Matrix again, this is a term from there:

http://matrix.wikia.com/wiki/Residual_self_image

The medical term for what I am getting at might be something like "proprioception" though?

Basically my "sense" for my body is nothing like it looks. Even though I've been overweight for 15 years now, I still knock things over with my hips, catch my clothes on door handles. I guess its kind of like wearing a padded costume all the time, you will seem clumsy all the time, but I never have gotten "used" to it.

When I look in a mirror or a picture of me, there is disparity with how I look and how my mind thinks I look. I think that guy in the mirror it picture isn't me. Just doesn't look right.

It goes deep too, when I imagine myself daydreaming or in a real dream, I don't see the overweight guy, I see the guy I was 15 years ago, I don't do this on purpose.

I know it's kind of hard to describe, but does anyone know what I am talking about?

When I meet goals I hope that my residual self-image might more closely match my actual self.

[rubidoux]

I have some of that, too. You hear a lot about women who think they're bigger than they are and feel bad about it, but I think I have always thought of myself as that cute young thing I once was. lol I have of course felt plenty terrible about my weight, but there was some piece of me that just didn't get it. And when I looked in the mirror, if anything, I think I minimized the problem in my head.

Now that I'm just about at goal, I feel like I look great!!! (I am really not full of myself, I swear!) But I am worried that I'm minimizing my bat wings and other loose skin and really look terrible. I will probably never really know how I'm perceived by others since I feel like my own perceptions are not based in reality. But that may be for the best.

[lin43]

I was the same way before I lost weight & am still like that at times. What helps me with that is forcing myself to stop avoiding photos. I think it's one of the best ways to get a realistic view of ourselves (especially as we age)

[buddha belly]

For sure. I could look in the mirror and say - well my stomach isn't really that bad.

When I first gained the weight I said it was just my stomach and when I went into a drawer I hand't opened for a while to put on a top - since all the weight I had gained was in my stomach - my old tops should still fit. What a shocker - it wasn't all my stomach.

Now I have lost a bunch of weight and I sometimes think well I must look normal now. But I am still over 25 lbs from where I started and the clothing size is still way to big, that it is just me thinking I look way smaller than I do.

[souvenirdarling]

THERE IS NO SPOON.

Couldn't help myself. Perception is a complex unreliable thing.

[hannahbeanies]

Oh my gosh I do this too! I am glad I am not the only one! I still imagine myself as I looked as a teen, even though I have been adult for a bit. Strange. I just don't hardly imagine myself anymore. I didn't even realize how much weight I had gain before until the doctor told me and I was shocked.

[luckymommy]

I also find that I have a very hard time telling what I truly look like. The more overweight I become, the more in denial I am and the thinner I get the fatter I tend to feel...not always though. There have been times when I've been at goal weight and felt wonderful about myself, but never for a long time (which also has something to do with the fact that I've never been able to maintain weight loss permanently).

I think photos are a great idea for people starting out because often times we don't see much going on on the scale but we could be making great progress which the photos can help us see.