I want my life back, please help me

  • First off my name is Joseph and I am 27 years old, male, from Kentucky. I really don't know where else to turn. I don't know if strangers on the internet can help me when my friends and family aren't even motivation enough for me..but here is my story and I thank you if you read it all.

    I have not always been overweight, technically obese now. I was always average weight and I felt so good overall. Back in 2008 a lot changed. Something happened to my health. I started having "nervous" attacks and my heart started beating "weird" at times. My heart beat would rise so much and I would just be so tired feeling just from sitting. I was admitted to the hospital and eventually given pills that took care of that stuff. Then I changed jobs, from fast food to clerical. Over the past 5 years I have went from 180 lbs (6' tall BTW) to a whopping 320 lbs! In clothes, I went from a size 36 to now a size 48 (sometimes 50 depending on brand). I have huge man "boobs", a humungous gut, my cheeks and neck are very large and my thighs as well. I look horrible, I feel even worse inside and out.

    I want to play and chase my 6 year old nephew who is the world to me, but I can't do anything other than sit on my butt and play video games with him. Last year my family and I went on a vacation to Kings Island. The very first roller coaster (regular adult sized mind you) I took my nephew to, I couldn't fit.. I couldn't FIT! That was SO humiliating! The bar just hit me in my big gut, wouldn't lock down. I had to get off and take my nephew with me.. If I run for just a few seconds I am so out of breath I feel like I will pass out any moment. I have tried dieting, the best I did was counting fat grams I lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks, just to gain 25 pounds back a few weeks later. I don't have much money, I live payday to payday so fast food is so easy for me to get. A dollar here and there for hamburgers fries and drink is so tempting when you have little cash. I can't afford to stock up on fresh fruits, veggies and all the "healthy" labeled items.

    I read someone's success story on here about how they lost 100 pounds in a few months just by moderation and walking/running on a treadmill. It may be my last hope, but can someone please give their advice on this.. It is $50 for a year at my local rec center and that is the only place I can really exercise at. If I spend the money and walk 5 days a week, will this drop the weight off? My goal is 180 lbs..I'm so skeptical though because those treadmills have the calorie counter thing on them and I have used one once before, I walked for 30 mins or so and it said I burnt only like 90 calories. How can burning 90 calories a day lose weight when you have SO many pounds to lose?

    One last question, if or when I do lose this weight, does anyone know if my man "boobs" and gut will go away as well? Because plastic surgery is out of the question for several reasons..

    I know it's a lot of reading but I hope someone can maybe help me change my future..

    Thank you all.
  • Hi there,

    You've come to the right place. There's lots of information and support here. You don't need money or fancy programs to lose weight, and there is no one "thing" (like walking 5 days a week) that will "drop the weight off." All you have to do is eat fewer calories than your body uses, so your body dips into its fat stores for energy.

    I think structure is enormously helpful when losing weight, especially in the early stages. At your height and weight, you may want to start with about 2,000 calories per day. I'm guessing you should lose 1 to 2 pounds per week on that amount. (You may lose more quickly at the beginning, but that's just water weight coming off.)

    You don't need to buy fresh fruit or veggies if it's too expensive: frozen or canned will work just fine. Do some exploring online, and see what kind of a meal plan you can come up with on that calorie budget. Most of us find that protein and fibre helps keep us full, so keep that in mind when designing your meal plan. But don't torture yourself with foods you dislike: every food in your plan should be something you actually enjoy eating.

    Write down about 5 breakfasts, lunches, dinners and small snacks. Keep the list handy and start following it. Also write down a strategy for dealing with dinner parties and restaurant outings.

    Your exercise plan sounds solid. Combine it with a moderate eating plan as described above and you will lose weight. The hard part is resisting temptation and mild hunger. You'll develop strategies to deal with this along the way.

    Good luck and keep us posted.

    Freelance
  • Joseph, you can do this! Lose the weight now while you're young and have your whole life ahead of you. Men typically lose weight so much faster than women so you have that in you favor. You just need to commit to improving your health and just do it! There's always support here. Good luck to you
  • I think the eye opener for me this time, is I need to lose weight by eating less calories. I exercise to become fit and healthy, NOT to lose weight. You just can't exercise a bad diet away.

    I have been using My Spark People to track my calories. If you have a smart phone you can even scan barcodes and figure out how many calories are in things.

    I would start by making a few simple goals. Like cutting out junk food, or walking every day. Once you start seeing progress, you will likely want to do even more.

    You can do this!!
  • You don't have to use a treadmill, just get outside and walk. People lose tremendous amounts of weight just by walking.

    I agree with freelancemomma's advice, make a selection of breakfast, lunch, and dinners each around 600calories worth and a couple of snacks and choose from those.

    You do NOT have to count fat grams to lose weight. Fat has been seriously misunderstood by the medical community for years. It is NOT fat that makes us fat, it is the over consumption of simple sugars and carbohydrates that cause the real problems.

    A few things to cut from your diet will yield massive results. Soda, sugar, fast food, processed food, and an over abundance of carbohydrates. You should be eating eggs, meat, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables (frozen is good!) and whole grains (but not a lot of it). Almonds and yogurt are a great snack. Hummus is great.

    You absolutely can do it and your manboobs will shrink.
  • Quote: I think the eye opener for me this time, is I need to lose weight by eating less calories. I exercise to become fit and healthy, NOT to lose weight. You just can't exercise a bad diet away.
    So true!!
  • Wonderful advice here! We have a section under food finds called Shoestring Meals with suggestions for those of us on a budget.

    It may seem like fast food is cheaper, but I find that it's more expensive in the long run. A $1 burger feeds you one time, while a pack of buns for $1 and a 1lb package of ground beef (I can get for $2) can yield four or five burgers. A $1 fry vs. a $5 10lb-bag of potatoes. A bag of chips may be $1, but a $3 bag of apples gives you 15 snacks!

    My favorite website is Budgetbytes for inexpensive and wholesome meals, and she even prices it out for you. It's not a "healthy" eating website, but she does make a lot of moderately balanced dishes.

    I am a big fan of cooking once and eating many times. I do this by cooking meals, and freezing them in serving size containers. It saves me money because I'm not wasting any foods and I'm prolonging the shelf life of my groceries. Plus, I save electricity, time, energy, and I don't have to worry about finding something to eat - I already have a bunch of homemade dishes already made and ready to heat and eat. It also makes my days easy when I can just pack up something I grab from my freezer to take for breakfast and lunch.

    Welcome and GOOD LUCK! One step at a time
  • First, welcome Bluelightnin6! You've come to the right site for getting support. I check in just about every day. Don't always post, but it helps keep me going.

    Everyone has offered some great advice already. The only thing I would add is that I use one of the apps that was mentioned (MyFitnessPal) to track my eating. The thing that has helped me with staying consistent is that I figure out what I'm going to eat first thing in the morning, enter it, and then try to stick to that. If I track what I've eaten afterwards, I end up with some days being way over on calories.

    Getting exercise is good, but as several have pointed out, it's eating fewer calories than you need to lose weight. Good luck and I hope we see many updates from you!
  • Hi!

    The biggest hurdle to overcome is thinking "I can't ____" - you can and it's not that hard once you have a plan of action!

    Weight loss is almost all about reduced caloric intake, and exercise/fitness is not a bad pursuit either (but you can lose tons of weight without a gym membership). No "diet" is necessary and you don't need to eat the bare minimum calories to survive either. Faster weight loss isn't always better - it's about (as cliche as it sounds) changing your lifestyle and prioritizing things.

    I would advise that you start small and work your way up. I know I'd be throwing up my hands in despair trying to juggle calorie counting, following a complicated exercise plan, managing macronutrient goals (protein, fat, carbohydrates), and weighing myself. In fact I'd make the somewhat radical argument that too much information and too many numbers to crunch can increase one's chances of failure/rebellion against all the stuff you haaaaave to do.

    When I decided "I want to lose weight" at age 23 (I'm 26 now) I just ate the same stuff in smaller portions. Heck my dad lost 15 lbs in 2 weeks just not eating fried food, soda or dessert (and gained it back cause he didn't stick to it, womp womp). Eating BETTER food and running and lifting weights and having macronutrient goals came later. I counted calories for a while and now I hate it so I don't and I'm smaller than I ever was when I did. Experiment with different things - low carb is awesome for some people and others cannot function properly without more carbs.

    I also recommend Reddit for another supportive, highly active weight loss community: http://www.reddit.com/r/loseit is great!
  • Welcome Joesph! You can do this, believe in yourself. Some great advice given by these ladies above me. Frozen veggies are cheaper than fresh, and a keeping a bowl of apples/oranges around can be helpful and relatively affordable. Pick a plan that is sustainable for you, sometimes it takes a bit of experimentation to figure out just what that plan is. Be kind to yourself. Hugs!
  • You received great advice here regarding adopting a healthy life style. However, from your description of a fast weight gain following a fairly acute medical problem my feeling is that a medical issue is at the root of your weight gain. Perhaps a thyroid imbalance or some other hormone issue? If you are taking meds, they may also be responsible. Maybe you need a different kind, or different dosage? If I were you, I would consult with a doctor - preferably an endocrinologist - and insist they explore these potential issues fully.
  • Hello Joseph,
    My name is Kelly.
    I like you have just started this fight to be healthy. I was overwhelmed by all of the great advice I have gotten not only on here but by family and friends. I have 4 children at home and work full time so I also have money and time restraints.
    Don't get overwhelmed and give up! You are worth this fight!
    Start small .... WATER
    I simply replaced my sweet tea with water and I feel Sooo much better.
    MOVE .... Even if you start out with just 1 lap around the block, its more then yesterday, right?
    Start small then make one healthy change at a time after 2 or 3 weeks.
    Change your burgers to chicken and your fries to apples.
    Its about changing your life not just weight loss.
    Remember, you didn't get here over night. It took years. And change will not be quick, it will take time but if you continue to take small steps, you will get there.
  • To me it sounds like you experienced a hormone imbalance. I had some heart problems also in 2008, and I essentially tracked it back to endocrine disruption. As Naama already mentioned, check your thyroids, like the entire panel (TSH, free T4, freeT3, antibodies etc). Also, check your testosterone levels. Man boobs may be a sign of lowered testosterone, making you more estrogen dominant. Make sure you have all the nutrients. If you want to know more, a good site to check out is Precision Nutrition. They have a health coaching service, but also give out good free information about weight loss, muscle gain and nutrition. I buy produce in Sam's club. Costco is an alternative.

    Besides reducing calories, I would definitely increase exercise. Walking fast is as good as jogging. I would also add some DVDs that you can follow at home. Jillian Michael's 30-day shred is cheap, easy to do and will give you fast results. Then add weight/strentgh training. That should help with your problem areas. Fat loss will do the rest.
  • Assuming you don't have a medical issue you will have no problem losing weight and you can do it with unhealthy food and on a meager budget. The real question is if you're actually going to, or not. Based on the tone of your post my guess is you're not going to as you currently have the mentality of a victim. These things aren't happening to you, you're the cause of what is happening in your life.

    Based on your well written post you're clearly intelligent so figuring this out should be really easy.

    My suggestion would be to count calories, start walking, and go to the library. Why the library? You need to read some self help books. The only thing that will change us is the people we meet and the books we read.

    We're all creatures of habit and we fall into habits which are difficult to break but one decision at a time, you can build new habits.

    Don't start tomorrow. Start now.
  • Quote: omething happened to my health. I started having "nervous" attacks and my heart started beating "weird" at times. My heart beat would rise so much and I would just be so tired feeling just from sitting. I was admitted to the hospital and eventually given pills that took care of that stuff.
    Joseph, can you tell me what they gave you and diagnosed you? My mother is having these issues for over a month and it is killing her life. If you can answer me I will be eternally grateful!