Hi all,
Sorry if my title offends anyone. This is something I just need to rant about because it's really bugging me. I know it will never change though, so in some ways even ranting about it seems pointless.

I have an underdeveloped octave nerve which has caused severe tunnel vision and legal blindness in both my eyes. I live a generally normal life despite this though. The only thing I can't do is drive.

I get so f'ing tired of people's stupid questions about this. I try to keep it on a need to know basis. But when people find out I have to go through the inevitable interrogation about it. I really don't mind answering a question or two if they are asked out of curiosity. But most people just assume things and it comes across so condescending and rude. Yes, I can see to read, watch tv, etc. No, I don't need a seeing eye dog, etc. With glasses my vision is reasonably good. But still not perfect.

I was with my boyfriend this past weekend having lunch and somehow the subject came up.

My ex husband always thought I was faking it, and I just didn't want to drive out of laziness. SO he took me to the BMV and made me get a learner's permit. I can fake the eye test well enough to at least get a permit. But once he took me out driving, he realized that maybe I am telling the truth.

My boyfriend was like, "Well if you can fake it to get a permit why can't you just fake the driving test?" I tried to tell him to get a permit you just have to pass a written test, to get a license you have to actually drive. He was like, "Well yea, but you only have to drive for a few minutes." I tried telling him there's no way I would pass it. And he asked me why I don't just get stronger glasses. I told him 20/20 is perfect vision, my vision without my glasses is 20/400. Glasses can only do so much. I said that if glasses could give me perfect vision I would have perfect vision. He tried telling me that driving really isn't that hard and that lot's of people with bad eyes still drive.

Finally this ended with me saying, "Well, when we leave here we can go find a country road somewhere and I can show you how dangerous it is for me to drive if you really need a demonstration." I felt bad for saying that, but I think I finally got the point across. Even though we changed the subject. I was just fuming. Why the **** can't even the people who love me except this!? Even if I could pass the friggin test, don't they understand how dangerous it is for me to be on the road, not only to other drivers but to MYSELF!!!! Jesus... I would hate to fake my way through a driver's test and get my license only to be out driving one day, cause an accident and kill someone's baby and have to live with that the rest of my life.

I hate when people ask me why I don't just have lasik surgery. Hello! IF IT WAS THAT SIMPLE A FIX i WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY!!!

The conversation with my boyfriend really upset me. We've been dating for almost a year now. He's an intelligent person. I thought he of all people would understand. No one I've dated though has really gotten it or accepted it, except for one ex of mine who had similar eye problems and also couldn't drive.

I spent some time in Norway... and no one over there drives. At least not in Oslo, where I was. I met one person who had a license the whole time I was there. And he didn't even own a car. So, it was so nice being somewhere where people didn't make such a big deal about it.

And I don't even want to go into all the trouble this has caused me finding jobs. I've lost opportunities because of this. I've had people ready to hire me in interviews, until they find out I can't drive. Then suddenly I get, "Well, if you can't get to work we aren't interested." I just want to be like, "Uh, I got here for your interview didn't I?" Hello, if I didn't have a way back and forth to work I wouldn't waste their time and mine applying for the job. I pretty much walk everywhere. If it's too far I take a taxi. There are other ways to get around. Do people think I'm just some shiut in who never leaves the house. ****, I went to EUROPE by myself!

I'm sorry to go on being all harsh and angry about this. But it makes me so mad. And I know it will never change because people's perception won't change. It's our culture. I seriously researched moving to Norway. But immigration laws make it impossible.

Thank you for reading. I feel better now.

I'm so sorry I do wonder that there is some sort of attitude here in North America that one simply cannot survive without a vehicle (???). Heck, I know people who have never taken a bus in their life even if the direct stop is at their door!

Would you really want to move to Oslo? Immigration to nordic countries is darn near impossible but have you ever thought of just trying anyways?

Is relocating to a major metro area with extensive public transit a possibility? They're more expensive, but it's probably a more realistic possibility than Norway. I lived in DC for a few years without a car. No one thought it was odd or even unusual. I know you were just venting, but wanted to toss that out there...

and for the lack of understanding you've experienced.

Where I live now has good public transportation that is affordable. Getting around isn't a problem at all for me. My problem is more with people's attitudes and ignorant assumptions that I can't get around. I have a good job here and have no problem getting where I need to go. I just wish people could see that. I live in the Cleveland area, btw.

My second time there I went to the American embassy and got the paperwork to apply for a VISA. Living far away from my abusive family, *** ex husband, and in a place where not driving isn't a big deal and my alternative religious beliefs are more accepted seemed like heaven to me.

But, the I fell in love. My boyfriend and I have talked about trying to move there together. We have also talked about moving to Amsterdam or Berlin.

But, those are pie in the sky type scenarios... Moving to a European country costs a lot of money. The money it was going to take to move to Norway just for me was astronomical. We are both working class people. We say we would love to live abroad while we're young. But by the time we save up the money to do it we won't be young anymore, lol.

I'm really shocked people would actually encourage you to "fake it" and drive anyway. Obviously they don't get it...peripheral vision is kind of important. WTF.

I know right! That blows my mind! The fact that people think I should just put myself and others in danger for a minor convenience is really unsettling.

Wow! I'm sorry. I can't imagine anybody thinking somebody would fake something like that, and even worse encourage them to drive against their own better judgement! WTH? Rant it out! lol, hope it helps ya feel better!

Holy crap! I'm sorry you have to go through this. You need peripheral vision in order to operate a vehicle safely!

People have no clue when it comes to vision problems unless they've personally experienced them. Glasses, contacts, and lasik only correct available vision, they cannot fix blind spots. It's like thinking that blind people should magically see once you give them a pair of glasses, it just doesn't work that way.

I grew up in a rural area where everyone drove, but after moving to a big city I found it's pretty common to not have license or car. My SIL doesn't have a license and I've never seen anyone give her a hard time about it, and the same goes for several of my cousins and other relatives. In fact, I've occasionally been asked if I drive, and was shown mild surprise when I'd answer yes.

I actually had to stop driving for a couple of years due to my GAD, so I do have an idea of how it feels to be limited in a way that others don't understand. Since you can still retain your independence through public transportation and the like try not to worry too much about it.

If anything, I hope that getting to vent helped!

I would hope that your boyfriend understands your situation. Make sure you evaluate who you are attracted to. My first husband was a clone of the people in my family. He kept me down just as they did.

Just wanted to chime in about that...big hug!

I think you're giving too much important to people who don't matter. Your ex husband for example - he doesn't matter anymore. If you are not getting jobs because you can't drive then that is illegal, unless you're trying to be a delivery driver but you're probably not going for a job like that. You cannot be discriminated against because of a handicap. It just sounds like you're wallowing a little in self-pity which is ok for a bit but after you're done then pick yourself and get back to it. Life marches on and you can't worry about idiots.

You don't have to move to europe to have good public transportation. I live in nyc and practically nobody I know drives here. In fact, people here think you're crazy if you drive around the city, parking is a nightmare and public transport is faster and cheaper.

Its not for public transportation that I was considering moving to Europe, as mentioned above. It was just nice being somewhere where people didn't make a big thing of me not driving. And also, I have good public transportation where I live now. Its people and their stupid comments and questions that piss me off.

Its not for public transportation that I was considering moving to Europe, as mentioned above. It was just nice being somewhere where people didn't make a big thing of me not driving. And also, I have good public transportation where I live now. Its people and their stupid comments and questions that piss me off.

On another note, since someone brought up self pity... I've considered blogging about this. The main thing that stops me is that that's what people will think.

I think you should blog or write about it. It is cathartic.