If a guy text you after a month, to catch up for coffee... do you go?!
3FC peeps, i need advice! I met this guy a month and a half ago. I later txted him and asked him for coffee and he texted back that he was going away and if his plan changed, he'd let me know. There was nothing in that text that said "maybe we can do coffee next weekend or another time. Pretty closed text, right? So I dont hear back from this guy for over a month, then last night (friday night!) I get a text from him asking if im free for coffee catch up this weekend. I'd even deleted him off my phone because i figured he wasn't interested. Now when I did meet him, we work in similar field, he'd just lost his job and I mentioned that there may be positions in our company and if he wanted, i could pass his resume but he said he wasn't looking for a job and wanted time off to relax.
Now question : do you think he just wants a job? do you think he is interested? why do guys do this? I dont want someone who plays games, I'm so bad with relationships and I dont trust my judgement anymore but everything in me says this guy isnt interested and is probably wants to see if the position is still available.
Anyway, i don't know. what do you think? I did agree to coffee but only because i dont know... just to see what happens. But what do you guys think? Would you have gone for coffee with him? or told him to p*s* off?
I think I still would go for coffee but nothing more on that "date". No invite for him to go back to your place, no going to his. Coffee and chit chat. If the topic of him wanting you to hand in his resume comes up - then maybe it is his true intentions of this date? But maybe not. I wouldn't agree to handing in his resume right then and there. See if he contacts you for a second, third, fourth date. Then maybe think about the job offer again at that point.
I'd go for coffee, you have nothing to lose. Let him do more talking to start, then you might get a hint of his intentions (business or pleasure). Have fun!
Now question : do you think he just wants a job? do you think he is interested? why do guys do this? I dont want someone who plays games, I'm so bad with relationships and I dont trust my judgement anymore but everything in me says this guy isnt interested and is probably wants to see if the position is still available.
I don't think he did anything inherently wrong to begin with. Sometimes we're spooked into thinking that if a man doesn't act like Prince Charming from the get go that he's not worth our time. It's easy to jump to that conclusion when so many men are quite stupid and don't know how to behave but I don't think he acted poorly to start with. He may not have called right away, he may not have been interested right way and who knows, he may just be looking for a job. You won't know unless you go on the date. I would say however to be cautious and keep the ball firmly planted in his court. Be certain that he is interested in you before revealing your interest in him by calling and texting. For goodness sake, no texting!
In regards to the sentence in bold. I thought I was the queen of sussing out interest in a guy. But no lie at all, when I first met my husband I thought he might be gay, that's how uninterested he first appeared. I mean, he let me pay for our first date (jerk!) and he didn't try to kiss me until the 4th date or so (definitely gay, right?). But once we got to know each other and like each other there was no game playing at all, he was full on devotion and love from that point on Sometimes it just takes a little time, don't be too quick to judge the situation until you're actually in it.
I've been on the other side of this kind of dilemma. I met my hubby through a personal ad I placed. He responded to the voicemail account, and I was so underwhelmed that I didn't respond back to him for over a month. He could have said, "You snooze, you lose, sweetheart, you had your chance and didn't take it."
You don't owe him a second chance, but if you're interested, why not?
If a guy text you after a month, to catch up for coffee... do you go?!
Sometimes it just takes a little time, don't be too quick to judge the situation until you're actually in it.
