[SnowPetal]

I have around 110 pounds to lose. My biggest thing is that i'm really worried it won't come off, that i'll never be able to stick to it that long etc. I have discovered that my down fall is my young child who seems to bring out stress factor 10 in me and it is making it very difficult to stay on track (i'm a single mum). I don't eat junk when I go off track it is still healthy food, just over the calorie limit by a couple of hundred calories but it stops the weight loss and it is directly from feeling stressed.

My child was recently away from me for a few weeks and I managed in that time to get 11 pounds off as I wasn't stressed!. I have no problems sticking to the diet when my child is at school, but come the evening and my stress levels are through the roof. It is incredibly frustrating and I am feeling quite angry with myself that I can't get a handle on it.

Does anyone have any strategies for dealing with stressors?. This is the only thing blocking my path to being free from this weight.

[Katydid77]

What is it about your child that makes you stress more?

I know that a lot of us respond to stress with eating, but it is a variation with you, b/c most busy single moms I know eat less when their kids are around b/c they are busy doing so much, or fixing for the kids.

Is there something specific? like you have a special needs child? or something that makes dealing with him/her particularly tough?

At the end of the day, like all of us, you are going to have to cultivate a healthier relationship with food.

Food isn't your comforter.
Food isn't your friend.
Food isn't your lover.
Food isn't your ally.

Food is an emotionless mass that we consume to sustain life on this planet. It's energy.

If you need to, get some type of counseling. Learn to view food with a detached mindset.

If there is underlying stress in your relationship with your child, deal with that. Don't allow yourself to keep self-medicating with minor doses of 'pleasure' chemicals released while eating.

[bargoo]

Thinking I want to lose 110 pounds would be enough stress for me. In my case I ultimately lost 90 pounds but when I started dieting I couldn't even imagine that could ever happen. I gave my self 10 pound goals, when I lost 10 I started over with the next 10. This was less stressful for me. I don't know about the stress with your child. I have raised two children and stress does come with the package.How old is your child, what does he/she do that is causing so much stress ?

[Roo2]

Stress is a part of life we all have to live with.

Stress can motive us to get moving or it can freeze us in our tracks.

I am not a single parent But I was raised by a Single Mom back in the day when it was not the norm. My mom raised 3 kids while holding down a Full time job ,no formal education and took public transportation. She moved was originally from the south but because the job opportunities were better relocated up north.

Mom never received any kind of financial assistance or child support...said she would never take something that was begrudged to her.

My mom was a slip of a thing and weighed 105 lbs, with Red Hair!

Was my mom stressed you Bet she was! But she was driven and knew what she had to do!

Stress can be motivating it we let it!

I have a lot of stress in my life but I refuse to use it as excuse to pop something in my mouth that is not part of my program!

Yesterday got pulled over and received a Ticket ...I could have allowed myself to fall into an old comfortable behavior of self soothing with food... But instead I continued on a did what I needed to do.

Sometimes I think when tempted ...We need to tell our inner child No!!!

I am not trying to diminish that you have stress but want to point out.... That we all do! The only difference with people and their problems has how they choose to handle them.

Handle your business or your business will handle you. That's what a coworkers Dad use to tell her! And I think it is very true.

Maybe if you learn to respond in a different way when your child pushes your buttons it will change things .
Years ago I took a class on parenting called S.T.E.P. program
When my husband was in the military and I found it useful.
It also helped all relationships it use reflective listening and setting and enforcing logical consequences. Our Chaplain ran the program he also had a degree as a Therapist. I was never a joiner ...but so glad I took a 6 week class that help me with communicating effectively with my kids in a Win Win situation.

Good Luck , and don't allow anything or anyone derail your progress

[mandypandy2246]

Originally Posted by Katydid77

Food isn't your comforter.
Food isn't your friend.
Food isn't your lover.
Food isn't your ally.

Love this. Something I need to remind myself of often.

[elvislover324]

I don't have children but I sure know about stress!

I really have to make a conscious effort to take time to exercise as it's a natural stress reliever. I physically don't lose as much weight on the weeks that my body was so stressed out. Not sure if it's from cortisol or something else, regardless of me sticking to my food plan and exercising.

I agree with Bargoo, give yourself 10lb goals (or more or less). When I started out thinking I had 150+lbs to lose, I thought "why bother". Then I found so much helpful advice here on 3FC that helped me put it into perspective. I have a bracelet I made that has 5lb and 10lb markers that started out so sad an empty and now it's filling up beautifully! The jingle makes me happy to know how much I lost and also doesn't fit very well into a chip bag!! It's a visual reminder of how far I've come and that I don't want to have to remove a charm by gaining back anything.

I hope you find a way to cope with your stress. I'd give anything to have my own child and I can't imagine it's ever easy, but being a healthier mom will surely benefit both you and your son.

Good luck and *hugs*.

[sacha]

I'm also a lot less stressed when my toddler is at preschool, lol!

How old is your child? Are you suffering from postpartum depression? That's not only for small babies. I had PND after my first child and it made a huge impact on stress obviously. I don't have PND with my 2nd and I find losing weight much easier without the stress.

[SnowPetal]

Wow some of your replies are quite rude. There are some issues with my child that I won't discuss on here but they are currently very stressful for me. I AM very motivated. Don't mistake what I said for lack of motivation, I have never ever lacked motivation in my life, not ever. This is my way of dealing with being stressed and i'm looking for alternate ways of dealing with it and support, not lectures or critisisms. I also didn't put the weight on from food, it was from medication. The emotional eating is only very new for me (last couple of months) and I haven't gained any weight from it, it's just stopping it comming off. I am also super busy. The extra food is an extra 200 calories at dinner time (part of dinner).

Sacha - My child is 10, so not young young. No, this isn't depression.

[sacha]

10 years old can certainly be a trying age! Especially when you are single and have to do it all alone. Perhaps the best way to get through the stress is just to have a simple basic meal plan and promise yourself to stick to it no matter what - written out - so that you aren't drawn to making other decisions when your mind is on other things? I know when I'm stressed, I want to reach for chips, perhaps a written plan can guide you away from that.

[elvislover324]

I just re-read every response and didn't see where anyone was rude?

Sorry SnowPetal if anyone's response offended you. I can't imagine anyone would say anything on purpose to hurt your feelings. I think everyone was just trying to put different options and personal experiences out to help you.

Good luck.

[JohnP]

Originally Posted by SnowPetal

Wow some of your replies are quite rude.

Were there some deleted posts I missed?

Just my opinion, but if you're not looking for any advice you should make it clear that you're only looking to vent. People want to help and so they're going to offer advice.

[SweetAsCanBe]

I'm not a single mom, but I definitely get the stress with my 4 kids. My youngest is definitely the poster child for terrible twos.

I've found taking a time out helps. As in I take a time out. It is tricky with my 2 year old and doesn't work as well as it does with the 6,7, and 12 year old. Sometimes I just have to remove myself, go in a different room (NOT the kitchen) and just take a couple minutes to just breathe and clear my mind. Find a happy place. Sounds corny, but it does work. Or give yourself a pep talk in the mirror. Tell yourself that the stress is just temporary and you and your child will both get through it.

Just a suggestion...try to find what triggers your child to cause you stress. Is it truly your child doing something or is it that you are so stressed in other areas? Is your child trying to get your attention but going about it in the wrong way? Maybe have a talk with your child and see if there is something going on you should know about. My oldest had a period if time where she became impossible to deal with. I found out she was being bullied in school but was afraid to tell me. Good luck!

[SnowPetal]

That's the thing my eating plan is simple! lol. I am only eating fresh unprocessed foods and my meals are super quick and easy to put together - like fish or chicken breast with garden salad. It is the protein that i'm over eating on. We don't have any junk food in this house, my child doesn't get any at home or for school as it's not how I want them eating.

I was just reading a harvard article about the stress hormone cortisol and how prolonged stress raises cortisol levels. Cortisol increases appetite and makes you over eat, and the more stressed you are the more your body tells you to eat. Really not sure how to get around this one. I somehow need to let the stress coming from the current situation roll off me, the cortisol levels will drop and the problem will be fixed.

[SnowPetal]

SweetAsCanBe - It's a particular current issue with my child that's in the 'investigational stages'. I don't really want to say much more as it's a public board.

[seagirl]

Are you still on the medication that caused you to put on 100+ pounds?
Have you talked to your doctor about it?
"Reducing stress" isn't going to make you lose 100 pounds.
How many calories are you eating a day? If you are just eating 200 extra calories out of stress, that's not really enough to make a huge difference in weight.

Your stress will always be there, you need to disconnect overeating as a coping mechanism for it. When you feel stress and notice that your next behavior is reaching for food, stop and do something utterly different. Draw a picture, brush your teeth, sit and take 10 deep breaths. Anything. Repeat as needed.