As most of you know, I have been on a strict, medically supervised diet for about 7 months and have had tremendous success. I thank God every day when I wake up and realize the changes I have made in my life and the benefits of it all, both mentally and physically.
But today...for the first time in this 7 months...I woke up forgetting I was on a diet!
My husband is out of town for the day at an offsite work thing and then going to a hockey game tonight so it's going to be a long day for him. In the past when he had days like this, it was my signal to binge all day and stuff my face with everything in sight and making multiple trips to the store if necessary to reload. Of course I put "real" food in the carriage too so it never (??) looked like I was just buying chips, pizza, total junk. And...all evidence of this food would be GONE by the time he got home.
I have followed my diet religiously for these 7 months and actually feel really good that I can (will) only eat foods on my plan. It's not a lot of variety but I am very secure with it and it actually has reduced my stress levels knowing I should not and will not eat off plan.
So....I woke up today wondering what my food plan was going to be since my husband won't be home til late. Wait, what?? Why would my food plan change? There is nothing different about today than yesterday or tomorrow. I have my food plan and will be sticking to it. But for that split second (or 5 minutes?) I fantasized about the junk I was going to stuff my face with.
I have no intention of going off plan but it made me scared and sad that I got the thoughts as soon as I got out of bed.
Here's to a perfect on plan day, I have no doubt I will be successful. But I have a feeling those urges will never ever go away. It's the food devil on my shoulder that I keep trying to ignore but sometimes he's just too loud.
Good for you knocking those urges to the side and staying strong! It really is like a devil on the shoulder. I've read sugar and all that junk food is like drugs. I believe it. The good part is that with time the urges are easier to calm and ignore. I'm a weird eater. I'll sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and feel like eating. It used to be ice cream or brownies. I did really good until yesterday. I haven't been getting much sleep so took a nap with my 2 year old yesterday. When I woke up, the urge came. I went straight to the fridge and ate cottage cheese. Luckily it was only half a cup left and it didn't ruin my day. I really wanted brownies. Something gooey and chocolatey. Keep strong girl! You're doing fantastic!
I'm so glad that you are feeling stronger now!! You resisted those urges like a champ!
When you think of those foods now they don't make you kind of feel sick to your stomach? I have been reading the ingredient lists of the foods I used to like and I'm pretty appalled.
Very Proud of you Elvislover --- I too have a Food Devil everyday that whispers in my ear how a little of this or that won't hurt me! Keep telling the Devil to get behind me! Just like the old cartoon with Good and Evil resting on your shoulders.
Have faith in yourself you are doing great
I think it was just a habit - you were used to doing that when he was away, and that triggered that habitual reaction. But you recognized it and said no way! It will take time but you will build new, positive habits.
Maybe you can start doing a mini-spa day, give yourself a pedicure, or something else that is your special me-thing for when he's not around. What appeals to you, and then you can start repeating the new, positive replacement habit, and eventually, that will become your first thought.
Thanks ladies! I'm sitting at Starbucks, drinking yummy coffee and enjoying the free wifi. Just left Macys with a size 16 skirt and Old Navy with a size L sweatshirt, no room in my waist budget for junkfood today! Exercise was done this morning so all is good.
Just that panic feeling this morning after the euphoric food thoughts. I'm so glad my first instinct was to write it all out to 3FC.
Yes! You are pointing in the right direction, and moving forwards! And you know where that gets you
I used to have hide-the-evidence binges too... I do not miss them now! If I'm going to binge, I make sure I do it in front of someone! I know that sounds weird, but it feels totally different when there's someone who cares about me sitting next to me. This is similar, that you're telling us all about it
Enjoy your new clothes! Eat OP and parade around the house in them feeling good Keep your mind occupied with things you enjoy, whether it's a book, a tv show, doing your hair/nails/whatever, whatever you do to chill out and feel good about yourself. And go to bed feeling happy and proud tonight, and know that we're proud of you too! *hugs*
It reminds me that it is so important to stay focused! Even when we all reach our goals, we must stay mindful to not go back to bad habits. Otherwise, you end up putting weight back on that you already lost.
*** Who has to be a regainer/reloser? That would be me! ***
Our diets are probably very similar and I agree that there is security in knowing what your options are. I used to do this when my boyfriend was working nights. I'd plan all day to order in a bunch of crap after he left and then stash the evidence! Congratulations on fighting off the urge!
Yes, my brain really went there...
Keep your mind occupied with things you enjoy, whether it's a book, a tv show, doing your hair/nails/whatever, whatever you do to chill out and feel good about yourself. And go to bed feeling happy and proud tonight, and know that we're proud of you too! *hugs*
