[acdub]

Hi beautiful people

So, I recently moved to a big city and I'm more aware of my weight than ever. I didn't bring a scale with me and don't have the funds to purchase one just yet but I am aware of some non-scale victories that have kept me going. I'm not losing a ton of inches (bummer!) but I'm noticing definition in my arms and legs. I also squeezed into a pair of pants that I haven't been able to wear in 2 years. Yes, they were tight...but a couple weeks ago I could barely get them over my thighs.

Anywho, I say all of this to ask if any of you have ever been in a similar situation. In a new city where everyone around you seems to be fit; seriously, I can count the overweight people that I've seen on one hand and I've been here a month. I guess I'm struggling to balance the fact that I'm happy to be here with the feeling that I stick out like a sore thumb.

I'm planning to participate in a curvy girl meetup group so that ought to help me find some people in similar situations but in the meantime...I figured my 300+ club folks might be able to help.

[angelarm]

Yes! I've definitely felt that before. I was working in Boston a few summers back and sat in a coffee shop, watching all the fit people walk (or jog) by. I thought, "Holy cow, I'm the chubbiest person in this whole town!"

I also lived in Seattle for a while where it seemed like everybody was training for a marathon. What worked for me there was to use it as motivation. I thought, "Hey, I'm a Seattlite too so I guess I'll be active!" And there's a reason people in big cities tend to be thinner: all of that walking helps so much!

Hang in there! People probably aren't noticing you as much as you think. (Another bonus of a big city...you can be anonymous!) And soon you'll be one of those fit city-girls, too.

[forreal]

acdub - been there, done that. Going to the club meet-up group sounds like a great idea. Takes a bit of time to settle in to a new area, but you'll do fine.

As far as losing inches, once you lose another 15-20 pounds, you'll notice the sizes will start to drop a lot more dramatically. I lost 40 pounds before anyone noticed a change in me. It seems once one person notices, everyone notices.

[mnemosyne]

acdub - I am from a very, ah, overweight part of the country, but have felt like that, too. Not just in big cities, but at concerts and festivals and protests and, heh, college as well. I wish I had good answers for you, but I am sure that on some level I let my weight defeat me and retreated from the world quite a bit.

You don't have to do that. You shouldn't do that! I think the best way to stay engaged and active is to stay engaged and active, and that can also keep you from giving up and gaining the way I did.

Congrats on your losses thus far! The previously-too-small pants thing is awesome.

[Vortex_VVV]

Maybe it's just being in my 40s, but I used to feel like this all the time before about 1990. Even in the late 90s, when I started teaching, I never had overweight students in my classes, but now I always do.

However... when I'm in a city, I still notice exactly what you're talking about. In part, I think it's just that people are more appearance focused in cities. Where I teach--the middle of nowhere--most of the faculty are from cities, and new faculty are always astounded at how casual people dress to go out to dinner or to a party. So one thing I do when I'm working in a city for a week or so, which I do a couple times a year, is I spend a little more time and thought on my clothes. I leave the jersey pants home and take the time to press things and put on lipstick, which I usually skip, which gives me a little confidence boost. Since I can't keep up with foot traffic in NYC or Boston, I try to be very conscious of keeping as far right as I can so people can pass me.

As Angelarm said, one bonus is that the city IS much more anonymous. You're one of 1000 people most people will pass on the street today--how much time do they really have to think about each person they passed? How much time do you spend thinking about any individual you pass?

The key thing is to find the things in the city that will make your life there as good as it can be... enjoy!