Since I've lost weight, people have noticed something about me that I have mixed feelings about. It seems like whenever I walk into a room of people, it's not my weight loss they talk about, it's almost like I'm apparently the most attractive person in the room. Like today, I went to a baby shower, and every single person I talked to kept fawning over how beautiful I am. My grandma even called me over so this lady I've never seen before could tell me how pretty she thought I was. And, while this is all great to hear...
It makes me uncomfortable. I mean, no, I don't think I'm ugly, and yes, I think I'm prettier and look a lot better than I did before I lost weight. However, to have a room full of people being all "OMG!" at me is weird to me. No one's ever given me that kind of attention before. Sometimes I almost feel like I'm stealing attention from what is actually going on, and that makes me uncomfortable, too. I don't know how to handle it. Then people start making the "Have you got a boyfriend yet?" (because apparently being attractive = lots of male attention) and that makes me even MORE uncomfortable because I'm very, very single right now. Men don't notice me at all.
How the crap am I supposed to handle all of this? I mean, I just say "Thank you" and carry on but it's like, I don't want to be THAT girl. I don't want to be the hot girl. I just want to be me, and I want people to notice me because I'm Lauren, not because I'm Lauren and I've lost a lot of weight and became attractive. Those are plusses, but they do not define me and I don't want them to. I never wanted to be defined by my appearance.
I guess the main question is: is it weird that I'm self-conscious about this? I feel like I shouldn't be, but I so am. I never got this kind of attention when I was fat. I don't really know how to feel about it, at all.
It could be because of the weight loss and they don't want to mention it. I know alot of people who would find other ways to "congratulate" someone on their weightloss without directly saying it. Things like "O my, you always look so beautiful in those clothes" or "Wow, you've just been glowing recently". Things like that.
I'm not saying that your not smokin' hot, but people do not fawn over the beautiful people in every social situation if that person is always beautiful. I have a good friend who honestly looks like a playmate (blonde, small waist, massive chest and down right pretty) and while she does get checked out alot, its not the main focus at female social events or birthday parties. Bars ofcourse are another story!
Hi, Lauren - People are impressed with the amount of weight you have lost, and I'm impressed too. Congratulations!!! That took a lot of work on your part.
People are meaning to be kind. Yes, you should just say "Thank you" - no other comment is needed.
If you don't want to be the hot chick that the males flock around, you certainly don't have to be that hot chick. The "newness" of your weight loss will settle down rather quickly, and your family & friends will be more comfortable with the "new you."
Give it a little time, and soon you will feel more comfortable with yourself these days.
I agree, just say 'thank you'. Sometimes people cnt put their finger on what has changed about someone, or can't think of a good way to put it. Is it a new hairstyle? The clothes? Weight loss? Who knows. But when someone exudes more self confidence it is intangible enough that it is hard to describe, but undeniably obvious to see. You have probably changed the way you carry yourself and care FOR yourself in the process of losing weight - and folks have noticed!
Just take compliments graciously and don't over think it.
Yep, actually the same thing (well smilair, I do not feel beautiful at all in the least bit) but most people around me simply blunt out, wow-you've lost so much weight! and "you look great".. funny because before no one ever told me any of those things. It makes me feel good but at the same time it weirds me out because I am not used to any sort of attention going to anything about my weight/look. I am hoping this is something I can get used to.. the weight isn't coming back and I am only going to lose more. Might as well get used to it now.. you have done a great job!!! I bet most people are just stunned by how awesome you are looking!
No it's not weird to feel self conscious about it, not at all! I think it's only too normal. I can only speak for myself, but one of the reasons I have a hard time with that type of attention is that I've spent years trying to hide my body and when people draw attention to it now, even though it's positive, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
You handled it well though. Just being gracious about compliments is a huge thing, some people have trouble with that.
Being newly "visible" after a bodily change has occurred is always awkward. I have lost all of 5 pounds but I guess lifting is doing its job because I've gotten a lot of comments similar to ones I got after losing a considerable amount of weight lately.
People want to compliment you without insinuating "you look better than you did before," let them do it. "Thank you" and change the subject and hope the attention fades (so you can miss it afterwards, haha!).
Uhhhm, embrace it? Some people are never called "beautiful" in their entire lives. People have seen that you are changing, and complimenting you accordingly. If I were you I would not even give it a second thought.
So, I'm beautiful now, I guess.
