For all those that are carb/sugar free..how to handle family; life outside your home?

  • I've posted about this before and I know there are some of you that are sugar free, or completely carb free (not low carb).

    I've done sugar free before (but still eating grains like rice, quinoa, and home made bread without sugar added) and I do feel a lot better after only a few days. Cravings kind of subside, appetite decreases, and when I do get hungry its not that urgent need to stuff my face hungry, i.e. blood sugar isn't plummeting from sugar high...

    But I have found that the one time I actually went all carb free, I was doing the south beach diet phase 1 and omg, craving were 100% gone gone gone!! Urge to binge was ZERO. I actually felt even better.

    Ok so the problem, and here's where I want some opinions...It was almost impossible for me to exist outside in the world. Seriously, in my owe little bubble at home, no problem, awesome meals no issue, but one day out and about (say we go shopping for the day), and I'm stuck. (both sugar free and carb free) so many hidden ingredients, and not every place we go has eateries that offer foods that would work...

    And the second problem is my family. Not my husband or kids, because he is very supportive and my kids are young and really don't care lol, but my extended family, we often have get togethers and they cook, and in the past I was a vegetarian (for several years) and they never respected it and often I just wouldn't eat at their house. But I took so much flack for that, that I don't feel like taking flack for "a new fad" (as they put it.)

    Actually around thanksgiving last year I was sugar free and turned down a slice of pie and my dad rudely launched into a speach about how I was too thin, he was actually watching everything I ate or didnt eat. I of course told him it was not of his damn business. And by the way, my ticker is wrong. I'm now 176 lbs. So I'm sure dad is happy to see me fat again. Ugh!! I should note, I had a miscarriage in May and just couldnt bounce back from it. I tried but I got really depressed and stopped running, strted binging...but I think I'm finally ready to pick my self up from it. Especially since I dont fit into any of my clothes.

    But I'm not happy. I need to be carb free, because I inevidably end up binging oin carbs, even whole wheat sugar free bread, or rice, nope I can not be trusted with carbs. Also I lose weight better without carbs.

    Anyway sorry to vent ....any input would be helpful.
  • I just say, if someone comments, that I'm focusing on eating veggies, fruit, and meat, since I feel better on those than grains and sugar. Nobody has said anything less than supportive.
  • I don't really expect anyone to understand, accomodate, or even respect all of my choices.

    I'd rather friends not try to accomodate my diet choices, because more than likely they will get it wrong, and they'll have wasted the effort. Even when they technically succeed, the results are often inedible.

    One particular in-law is constantly tries to make food to fit my diet. She's not a very good cook at the best of times, and when she tries to accomodate my dietary preferences, her experiments tend to be inedible - and I get to offend her twice.

    I've repeatedly asked her not to make anything special for me, but she keeps doing so anyway. She's constantly trying to make sugar-free, no-wheat desserts for me, and I've told her every time that fruit-salad is my favorite dessert (she does make a decent fruit salad, but always serves it with the meal and doesn't consider a family get together complete without a heavy dessert).

    I've stopped commenting and I just eat what I choose to, and don't apologize or explain why I'm not eating any particular food unless I'm asked, and usually I'll say "Maybe later, but not right now, thank you."

    I don't even try to tell her what my dietary preferences are, because it just encourages her to try to accomodate them (usually with disastrous results).

    I follow a low-carb exchange plan, and I do have a slightly higher carb exchange plan as my backup plan, so if I want to eat a bit more carbs at a family or restaurant meal, that works out well for me. Luckily my wheat sensitivity isn't so severe that traces of wheat are a concern, so I can just avoid anything I know to have wheat in it, and just be careful with the foods that might have wheat in it.

    I've learned that the less I say about my specific food plan, the better. It's been a hard lesson, because I'm a very talkative and open person. I still sometimes catch myself talking about what I've learned about diet and exercise and my food philosophy, and before you know it, I realize I'm inviting the relatives to make comments or accomodations for me (and to be honest I'd rather have open hostility than inspire friends and family to attempt to accomodate my wishes, only to have it backfire - then I feel like a real jerk for turning down the "special dish" - or worse I end up eating the monstrosity).

    I'd rather use my higher-carb backup plan than try to explain why friend or family member's special effort was wasted (Inside I want to say, "Why yes, the sugar free, wheat free, low-carb pumpkin you made, does fit into my diet, but even if you weren't the worst cook I've ever met - which by the way you are - as I've told you repeatedly I don't like pie, and I really detest pumpkin pie above all others.")

    I find that even very good cooks often fail miserably when they try to accomodate an eating style they're not familiar with. Once they leave their comfort zone, the results are unpredictable. I'd much rather eat only the side dishes than try to explain why their efforts to accomodate me were a miserable fail.

    Once when a family member asked me if I liked and could eat a particular bean dish with tomato sauce, and as it happened it was one of my absolute favorites. Knowing I was eating lower-carb, she did warn me that the recipe contained "a bit of brown sugar." Well, my grandmother's recipe did too - about 1 teaspoon of sugar, so I said it would be no problem at all, that I would just budget for the splurge. I made the mistake of saying not just "yes," but went into great detail about how it was one of my favorites. I was really looking forward to the side dish more than the rest of the meal.

    Turns out the dish didn't just contain a "bit" of brown sugar. It had so much brown sugar, it was about all you could taste and the side dish was actually sweeter than the meal's dessert. You could have replaced the beans with rabbit turds and you wouldn't have been able to tell the difference because there was so much sugar in the sauce.
  • Kudos to you for working towards getting healthier. It is great that your immediate family is supportive, makes things much easier. You can instill healthier eating in your children without them even realizing it.

    The way to deal with unsupportive other family members it to become proactive. And, tell a few little white lies, if need be. So when Thanksgiving rolls around, bring some carb friendly side dishes, and a carb friendly pumpkin pie. Then if need be you can add that the "Doctor told me my sugar is pre-diabetic, so I need to cut out all sugar and keep my carbs low", or else I might develop diabetes and need insulin. So this way it is about your health, not about being on a weight loss diet.