Things happened to me in the past and all of those changed my life drastically. My life went downhill, and I have been depressed ever since (2 1/2 years now). I had an abusive ex who called me fat (at 5'1, 105 lbs) and did horrible things that should be left unsaid. SELF-HATE was all I knew. It doesn't help that even my mom, sister, some friends, and other relatives call me fat all the time. Some say it in a joking manner, but it still stings a lot. Now I can't even remember a time when I was actually genuinely confident about myself. I haven't seen my friends in a while, and try to avoid people as much as possible due to embarrassment.
Being depressed, I just got lazy. I hated myself so much that all I did was binge, binge, binge to make me feel better temporarily.
I'm 145 lbs, 5'1 at the moment. 23 years old. And I want to change my life, at least, my weight, because I feel like it would help me heal and get better. I don't necessarily care about the number on the scale, as long as I feel good, look good for myself and my well-being, and yes, gotta admit, for my boyfriend (
he is my best friend and he has been nothing but loving and supportive of me- always telling me I look good and all that too)
It would also be nice to actually go shopping and not hate when there's events coming up and all that!
I figured I need all the support I can get. I've been reading posts for a while now, and thought a lot of you here are very supportive and engaging. I started today, counting calories and doing Insanity (I enjoy this workout, did it before)
Thank you for reading.
depression caused me to gain weight. now want to get my life back.
