I had an argument with my mother this morning, who is also trying to lose weight (not as much as me--and she has never been anywhere near how big I am, but as she's gotten older she's gone from a size 4 to a size 12). I told her I was having a hard time sticking to my plan lately, and she said, "you just have to want it enough. Sometimes, around 4:00 I'm so hungry I feel like I'm going to faint, but I just keep telling myself it's not worth it to eat," etc. I said that mentality was sounded really unhealthy and anorexic to me--I've lost 60 pounds and never once "starved" myself--and she got extremely defensive and asked for me to leave.
Is it OK to deny yourself food even if you're hungry? For some reason, I didn't think so, but maybe I'm wrong. I get that her metabolism is much different than mine now that she's in her 50s, but I still think she could lose weight even if she ate when she was truly hungry. I guess I'm honestly not extremely worried because I know she IS eating and that she isn't completely starving herself, but I guess her advice kind of rubbed me the wrong way.
I go hungry sometimes too, as long as I'm eating my regular meals. eating more isn't going to help me lose weight. being faint or feeling weak could be a sign of blood sugar dropping.
Last edited by ringmaster; 06-30-2012 at 11:03 AM.
sounds like she has ideas about when she should be eating. if i was starving at 4pm, i'd have a snack or have dinner early. then I'd look at what I ate earlier in the day to cause me to be starving by 4pm.
I feel faint a lot of times when my sugar gets low. I think itīs normal for a lot of dieters. I also think it is okay to be hungry. Eating at our every whim is what got us here in the first place. No, itīs not okay to starve yourself for days on end, but skipping a meal is more than fine...=) Everyone has to do this their own way, and I totally agree with your mom that you have to want it badly for it to work.
I don't feel this is a simple question with a "yes" or "no" answer. It depends so strongly on the person and what her attitude is about the hunger.
It's certainly okay to be hungry some of the time - one of the things a lot of us have to learn about this process is that being hungry for a little while isn't the end of the world, isn't something to fear or avoid at all costs. For example, I usually go to lunch at 1PM and I often find myself quite hungry at 11:30 AM or so. It's been good for me to learn to power through that feeling because holding off for 90 minutes for a real meal isn't that difficult.
That said, if I found myself really weak with hunger to the point that it was interfering with my functioning, I would eat. And if my plan didn't have room for that, it would be time to reevaluate my plan. I always have to evaluate whether some bit of discomfort I am facing is something I can power through by applying discipline, or something more significant that requires a re-evaluation of my plan.
Most of us have internalized the idea that a diet needs to be punishing in order to work. An eating plan needs to be a sustainable way to get through your day while making healthy choices - it does not need to be the penance you have to do for being fat. Most of us have demonstrated again and again that a plan based on punishment and penance is not sustainable in the long term, and won't lead to successful weight loss and maintenance.
And so if your mother is using this afternoon hunger as a way to make sure her diet is more punishing, it's probably not going to be sustainable or effective in the long term. Worse, it could lead to starve-and-binge cycles that will just cause more weight gain - the opposite of the intended effect.
If I am ever so hungry that I feel like I'm going to faint, it's not because I'm denying myself food on purpose, it's because I am stranded somewhere with no food
I would not succeed at this if I were truly HUNGRY for extended periods of time, but like previous posters, I do get hungry an hour or so before meals, and that is normal. It's been said around her many times that "hunger is not an emergency" and I have been pondering that this week. I've switched to no snacks during the day (I was a 3 meal/3 snack person for a long time) and at 11:00 and 5:00 I start feeling little rumbles. I tell myself I can wait an hour, and I can, easily. It's a mind game.
I think some people don't feel like it's a "real" diet if they don't suffer. Some people just like to complain. Some like to exaggerate.
You both are feeling hurt that the other doesn't agree with your way of dieting. You don't think she's chosen a healthy enough method, and she doesn't think you've chosen a strict enough method. So what? You have to do what works for you, and agree to disagree on this.
It's certainly okay to be hungry some of the time - one of the things a lot of us have to learn about this process is that being hungry for a little while isn't the end of the world, isn't something to fear or avoid at all costs. For example, I usually go to lunch at 1PM and I often find myself quite hungry at 11:30 AM or so. It's been good for me to learn to power through that feeling because holding off for 90 minutes for a real meal isn't that difficult.
I totally agree with this. If the next meal is soon then I simply deal with the hunger because I know a meal is on its way. If I'm hungry and the next meal is several hours away then I am probably due for a snack.
I like to look at why I get hungry, what I ate, etc. I know from experience that a 100cal breakfast of a poached egg and veggies is filling enough, but if I'm heading to the gym I will need to double that breakfast or I'll feel hungry halfway through my workout.
As others have said, I think it depends on the unique situation and individual, such as your age, how much weight you have to lose, how you define hunger, what kind of symptoms your hunger is causing you, what you're eating, when you're eating, when you're experiencing hunger, how much the hunger interferes with your thoughts, routines, and ability to stay on plan...
For myself, I believe that failing to understand and respect hunger was one of the main reasons I failed far more than I succeeded over the last 41 years of dieting (I'm 46 and have been fat and dieting since my parents put me on my first doctor-supervised diet in kindergarten).
Whenever I fought hunger, hunger inevitably won. Controlling hunger was incredibly important to me. I didn't know this though, as I'd always been told by my parents, my doctors, and every woman's magazine on the planet that hunger was an inevitable byproduct of dieting (and I assumed my hunger was the hunger they were describing).
I eventually learned that my hunger wasn't normal hunger. I began to call it "rabid hunger," and began to view my hunger as a tiger, which was inspired by a wls surgery in which an angry tiger wanders a woman's home home (with a hunger name tag around its neck), and the woman talks about how wls helped tame her hunger (the tiger is gone, and a little orange kitten is sitting in her lap).
I haven't had wls, but I did eventualy discover and develop other ways to "tame" my hunger. I do still experience hunger, but if I control hunger (before it controls me), I succeed. If I let hunger get the upper hand, I start to gain.
It really is like taming a tiger. I can endure the hunger kitten, but if I let it grow until it's a tiger, it pulls me along for the ride.
I learned that some foods triggered more hunger than others, and that I couldn't "trust" the hunger that high-carb, processed foods contained. On the other hand, I couldn't really trust the lack of hunger on very low-carb diets either. If I eat too low carb, I don't feel anything that resembles hunger as I know it, until I suddenly have a severe headache and feel like I'm going to puke or pass out (or do both). Hubby says I get irritable, then enraged first (but to me it just seems like he's suddenly decided to be a big jerk).
I try to keep hunger in check with my diet. Low enough in carbs to keep from experiencing much hunger (though the "kitten" does wander around in my head sometimes). If I do eat something high-carb, the kitten starts to grow, and can be hard to tame. I don't let it loose if I can help it, so I try to tame the hunger with a snack that's mostly protein and/or non-starchy veggies. I know from experience that high-carb snacks even good ones like fruit can make the hunger bigger.
I'm hungrier on 4000 calories of high-carb than on 1800 calories of low- to moderate- carb (and on very low carb I'm not hungry until I'm ready to pass out, as I mentioned).
If my first priority was never feeling hungry, I'd choose a strict low-carb diet, but that causes symptoms I think are as bad or worse than the hunger. So I find the middle ground that keeps hunger from being a constant (and loud, unruly) companion.
I know this doesn't give you a yes or no answer, but that's because there isn't one. You have to decide what role hunger plays in your success, and how to control it when you need to, and when you can let it just be there.
Also, just because you're hungry doesn't mean you have to give your hunger what it's asking for (in my case usually a fat/sugar or starch/salt combo). In fact (in my case at least) giving in to what I'm hungry FOR usually feeds the hunger even more. So while my hunger demands General Tso's chicken from my favorite chinese restaurant, I may give it broiled fish, a large salad and roasted brussels sprouts instead. If after eating I still WANT the chinese food, I know it isn't really hunger at all that is plagueing me, it's appetite.
It can be really difficult to distinguish hunger from appetite, so I find it makes more sense to set a reasonable calorie range for myself (so if I'm a little hungrier, I can eat a little more) and if I hit my calorie max and am stlll unreasonably hungry, I have something to combat the hunger (foods and beverages that contain less than 25 calories per cup, things like lettuce and other low-cal veggies, sugar free Jello, sugar free ice pops...)
Being hungry sometimes isn't the end of the world. I'm often hungry for an hour or so before meals but self control tells me to hold on until lunch/dinner.
However, the fainting hunger like your Mum describes is when I'd eat. I actually had that last Friday when I woke up in the morning. I normally fast and hence skip breakfast but I was dizzy on waking at 5am (to go to the bathroom) to the point where my vision felt blurry so immediately got myself some breakfast. When I actually woke up at 8.30, I was still feeling a bit faint so ate again, had lunch and then an energy bar for an afternoon snack before a slightly heavier dinner. After sitting down and counting my calories for the last few days (I normally guesstimate), I realised I'd been regularly coming in under 1200 calories without realising which was probably the reason.
Of course it's normal to get hungry, but I don't see why a person should ever be so hungry that they might faint. Dieters who torture themselves like that won't be able to keep the weight off, because it's nearly impossible to transition to a healthy maintenance plan after such extreme restriction. When I was younger and dumber I went on an 800 calorie diet and lost 40 lb, but when I started allowing myself to eat 2000 calories/day, my metabolism was so shot that I started gaining a pound a week. And I was a teenager. Imagine how an adult/middle-aged body would react to that.
Is it OK to go hungry?
