I have sky, the whole lot. Unlimited internet, tv, phone. And certain members of hubbys family think its okay to swan over at sunder lunch time, drop my dinner and let them use MY laptop with MY internet!! Not a text or phone call before hand to ask if its okay, and NOTHING back in return!! And when I say its not a good time (obviously) I get yelled at!! (This isn't the first time they've done this)
I am sick to death of it!! I got so frustrated that I went to our bedroom, buried myself in the duvet and screamed my head off! I also, and I'm not proud of this, scratched my arms with my nails until they almost bled.
I don't know what came over me. Right at this moment, I have 3 voices in my head. The first is telling me to eating everything in sight, the second is telling me to stop being silly and just keep going, and the third, the one I'm most concerned about is telling me not to eat anything ever and that I'm a fat stupid ugly b***h!!! I.... I don't know what to do... I feel so angry, at them and myself. I'm angry at myself for getting so big, for being a pushover and just generally having no back bone. Angry at them for being so rude, inconsiderate, and just plain spongey.... Lol that's not even a word but you catch my drift.
I know I shouldn't let anyone or anything, including myself get in the way of what I'm doing... But right now... All I want to do is cry, scratch, and eat... BUT I WON'T
I'll keep doing what I've been doing, and I will prove these scrounging idiots, who funnily enough have jobs and more money than me, so why don't the get their own internet and own bloody laptops, that I've got more of a bck bone than... Something with a really strong will... My brain's just gone blank
How RUDE! I would feel exactly the same. People have different values and ideas about these sorts of things. Some people love people popping in, but others, like me, hate people turning up unexpectedly and wanting to come in. But blatantly coming not even to see you, just use the internet is so rude!
I think you need to see if you can stop this happening right now, then you won't have all the bad feelings in future. Tell them to go to a library or internet cafe. And if they closed Sunday, they shall just have to wait. Tell them it is just not happening. This would not be unreasonable at all.
You keep on keeping on, sounds like you did very well in resisting some temptation!! xxxx
Thank you hun. It's good to know I'm not just being a selfish boob about all this.
It's not happening anymore. EVER!! I've simply had enough of it. And for them to get me into this state says a lot I think. For the most part I'm laid back, but when I think someone has taken the micky too kuch, then guess what.... you get cut off!! End of story.
I still feel pants, and hubby has been lying in bed with me for a while now, chilling me out and cheering me up, he's just gone to get me some weetabix for my dinner. And after that, I'm just gonna play on the ps3 and yell at something different
You are not being a Boob about it. Those people are rude. I call them freeloaders and have no issue with showing them the door. Don't answer the door when they come over. It won't take long before they get the hint.
Start hanging around naked, and answer the door with no clothes on and your husband yelling "hey, get back here, we aren't done!" and they will probably stop showing up.
I also think using someone's computer is a lot to ask; it has saved in there so much, like passwords, the sites you use, your searches etc. I get all edgy if someone wants to use mine!! I hope you feel a little better now xxx
I do feel a bit better now. Just sent the man to the ice cream van to get me a small bag of maltesers and a can of diet coke. I've had a good week and after today, i need a treat!!
Thank you all for being so understanding. I really did feel like i was losing the plot when i wrote that first post.
It felt so good just to type it out, get it off my chest etc
Last edited by LozzCowell; 05-20-2012 at 03:32 PM.
Reason: spelling mistake :)
I have sky, the whole lot. Unlimited internet, tv, phone. And certain members of hubbys family think its okay to swan over at sunder lunch time, drop my dinner and let them use MY laptop with MY internet!! Not a text or phone call before hand to ask if its okay, and NOTHING back in return!! And when I say its not a good time (obviously) I get yelled at!! (This isn't the first time they've done this)
I am sick to death of it!! I got so frustrated that I went to our bedroom, buried myself in the duvet and screamed my head off! I also, and I'm not proud of this, scratched my arms with my nails until they almost bled.
I don't know what came over me. Right at this moment, I have 3 voices in my head. The first is telling me to eating everything in sight, the second is telling me to stop being silly and just keep going, and the third, the one I'm most concerned about is telling me not to eat anything ever and that I'm a fat stupid ugly b***h!!! I.... I don't know what to do... I feel so angry, at them and myself. I'm angry at myself for getting so big, for being a pushover and just generally having no back bone. Angry at them for being so rude, inconsiderate, and just plain spongey.... Lol that's not even a word but you catch my drift.
I know I shouldn't let anyone or anything, including myself get in the way of what I'm doing... But right now... All I want to do is cry, scratch, and eat... BUT I WON'T
I'll keep doing what I've been doing, and I will prove these scrounging idiots, who funnily enough have jobs and more money than me, so why don't the get their own internet and own bloody laptops, that I've got more of a bck bone than... Something with a really strong will... My brain's just gone blank
Wow I'm sorry, I am shocked by your whole post. I am shocked that your husbands family treat you like that, I'm shocked that your husband apparently allows them to treat you like that, I'm shocked about the effect they had on you although I can totally see why it had that effect.
All I can really say is stick up for yourself, if they come over wanting to use your internet having not called and it's not a good time just don't answer the door, don't let them in. Have you tried talking to your husband about his and about how they make you feel, can he not deal with them? Please don't hurt yourself again and keep your chin up.
I can understand how you feel. I have had a recent issue with my older sister who doesn't drive and I had to take her to a family funeral about a month ago and I told her we had to leave by 9 as the funeral was at 10.... it's a 40 min drive and she stuffed around and wasn't ready when I turned up at 8:50, we ended up leaving at 9:40 and I blasted her in the car just before we got to the funeral.... she loves to waste my time and we got in late and I was furious.
I like to do things for others, but when it's a one way street I soon stop giving. You give my sister and inch and she'll take a mile. She'll say can you stop at the shop I need to get something and she will take her time and look at everything, while any decent person would think I don't want to keep them waiting, so I'll rush in and get what I want and then leave. Sorry to go on like that
I say put a password on your laptop and I would disconnect the internet, pull the plug or switch the modem off.
It's bad enough that your husband doesn't respect your wishes
Lol he's not my husband, but we have been together for years. And he has stuck by me thro all this, even telling his mum that she's wrong etc.
The problem is that the whole family just walk straight into the house. they dont knock, call before hand or anything. They just turn up and walk in. God forbid if me and him were up to anything naughty and forgot to lock the door!!! I'm still super angry about all this and just want to stuff my face with chocolate and ice cream... Good job I'm broke and theres none of that in the house
If I can get thro this crap and not binge, I can do anything...
Last edited by LozzCowell; 05-21-2012 at 10:33 AM.
Reason: spelling mistake
Lol he's not my husband, but we have been together for years. And he has stuck by me thro all this, even telling his mum that she's wrong etc.
The problem is that the whole family just walk straight into the house. they dont knock, call before hand or anything. They just turn up and walk in. God forbid if me and him were up to anything naughty and forgot to lock the door!!! I'm still super angry about all this and just want to stuff my face with chocolate and ice cream... Good job I'm broke and theres now of that in the house
If I can get thro this crap and not binge, I can do anything...
They just walk in? I have never heard of let alone experienced such rudeness, How about you get a door that locks automatically or make a habit out of locking your door all the time? I really don't now anyone who would just walk into somebody else's house family or not, apart from when I visit my grandparents who are elderly and frail so it makes their life easier for me to open the door and walk in myself than making them get up to let me in.
The front door is old and doesnt lock easily. As this is a council rented house we contacted them to measure up and get us a new one... Seeing as everyone else down here have already had that done. they measured up, went away, and last week we were told we won't be getting a new door because there isn't the money for it...???!!!! So what does the rent go towards?!!! The christmas party no doubt.
The other annoying part of that, is, because I've worked in call centres and can talk on the phone, its now supposed to be my job to call the council and complain.... Uuuum How's this for a response.... NO!!
Hubby is going to council tomorrow after work as its only across the road, to get us onto the housing register, with instructions. We don't care if its a flat on the 30th floor or a fecking bedsit. We need to get out of this bloody house. If we don't... I don't know.... I can see the strain of all this ruining our relationship and i'll be off to germany
Not much to add really, but wow your boyfriend's family sound like they are taking the pee in a major way!
Can your bf not say something to them? Surely they must be aware that what they are doing is a little presumptive and rude!
As someone suggested earlier, think about locking that door. I'm not sure on protocol with a council property but could you perhaps fit your own chain lock? So even if the door opens, it will only be ajar?
As for their behaviour, does your bf know how you feel about this all? Maybe try and tell him if not, he might not realise. And as they are his family, surely he is better placed to have a word with his own relatives about it? Perhaps not in a confrontational way but just as more of a joke e.g. 'Oh not you again! Don't you have your own Internet?!' or something.
Or here's an idea - Sky do a referral thing right? Why not refer your relatives and get whatever they need sent to them, then they can jog on!
Loving 1987's suggestion of referring them so they can jog on, lmao!!
Phenomenally rude behaviour on their part and it truly needs to be nipped in the bud! Your OH, knowing how it affects you, really needs to speak to them and you shouldn't be afraid to give them a firm "no" next time.
Don't let them make you feel like this and derail your efforts, hun. They truly aren't worth it. Be strong!
I think you need to try to (Easier said than done advice!) be very blunt with them about how you feel about it. Don't worry about hurting their feelings or inconveniencing you-Treat them how they treat you.
I experienced similar problems with some of my family invading my bedroom when I was a teenager (Slightly different dynamic but similar result) I hated, hated, hated having uninvited people in my space, they didn't ask, listen when I asked them to leave or refrain from going in. I just wanted to be able to go home after school and hang out in my bedroom with all my things and PC as I left it. Also as JoseLo said-PC's often contain private documents. This was just my bedroom so I can only imagine how angry you must be about your situation.
They're taking advantage of the fact that you're obviously very patient and don't want to confront them-Kicking them out and a few choice words doesn't mean you're being rude or mean, it's perfectly justified given their behavior. It will probably make you feel less like overeating and scratching yourself. Direct your anger at them don't turn it back on yourself
Also consider trying to get a lock and pass wording your PC and anything else where possible. I have a feeling TV's can be pass worded, or at least parental controls etc.
Getting fed up of... (a pretty serious rant)
I'm sorry, I am shocked by your whole post. I am shocked that your husbands family treat you like that, I'm shocked that your husband apparently allows them to treat you like that, I'm shocked about the effect they had on you although I can totally see why it had that effect.
