I did something I never do, I actually spoke up about SB to a Co Worker. I do not discuss my life style change to SB with people, except my DH. And no one at work really acknowledges my change in appearance, hard one to explain that, but I am over that, because this is for me.
But I came into work this last Monday and ended up talking to a girl who was in tears, because she was suppose to go to her doctor for a recheck (she had been to see him 6 months ago and he told her if she doesn't lose weight she will have to go on medication for being diabetic, she is border line, very heavy and 62 yrs old) She cancelled her doctors appointment because she doesn't want to go on medication. (go figure that one out). I told her, you need to go, this is not going to go away, and will only get worse. She told me she hasn't even tried to lose weight and now is scared and worried.
Then she asked me how I managed to lose weight, I told her I made a life style change that I can live with. Then she wanted to know more, and I fell for it. Told her I would borrow her the SB book and even offered to bring her in a sample lunch she could eat that would be on plan and was good. She was all teary eyed and thanked me so much.
Now, I myself started out with SB full plan, now I have adjusted it to fit me, and today I got on the scale and I lost another pound and I don't even think about how I eat anymore, my choices come natural.
So, I took her the book and a small container of the Chicken Fiesta (loaded with veggies, it was so good). She came back to me a day later, thanked me for the book and then told me the food was good but it needed noodles or potatoes or something, she has to have that kind of stuff. She missed the point that you don't always need that kind of stuff with every meal. She is going to look at the book, but she already knows she can't give up bread and potatoes, she just loves that stuff.
What does it take for people to realize they need to do something, she is not going to get better if she doesn't try to take a small step for herself. A warning from her doctor wasn't enough of a wake up call I guess. I won't give up if she asks me more, but I won't get wrapped up in it.
I am going back to my little SB world, and enjoy my lifestyle change. And once again, thank you fellow Beachies for your support.
oh!!!! i see you've met my mother!!! lovely, isn't she?
you've done what you can - it doesn't mean you failed just because she dropped the ball. personally, i think what you did was very caring and generous. it's not your fault you didn't know her middle name is Cleopatra (queen of denial).
Last edited by threenorns; 04-20-2012 at 05:25 PM.
You may have planted a seed....it takes time to decide to change, and you gave her information, a sample lunch, and caring....let her contemplate things for a while. I think when we are judging how to make a big life change, our first thought are "I can't do it!".
Some people are like that. I think they believe that giving certain foods up would mean living a horrible life because what they don't understand is that once you remove those foods, you don't crave them that much anymore. It's really not as bad as people think.
Also, I think the majority of the population these days is on the lazy side. It takes a lot more effort to get in shape than it does to sit around eating bread and potatoes and, let's face it, most people really don't want to get healthy, they just want to be healthy.
You did the right thing so give yourself credit. I don't talk to many people, either, but when they seem like they might reeeeaaaaallllyyyy be in need it is a very thoughtful gesture.
Along the same lines, a coworker of mine (a relative of the owner) got fired from her job at the family business last year for drinking on the job. Everyone acknowledges she's an alcoholic. She's back at work now ***promising****not to do it again. I casually brought up a conversation about my quitting drinking and how much better I feel. She said, "I'm an alcoholic". So I said if she ever needed someone to talk to I was always available. She said thanks. Cool. She needed a ride home from work the same day, so I offered.....
she asked if it would be ok if we stopped by the liquor store so she could get a beer.....sure it works for me. She came out with a 6-Pack. You can lead a horse to water but can't make her drink (or not). Maybe the day will come when both of these gals are a tad more desperate.
I fall for that all the time! And every time when I share what I did to lose weight and share my lifestyle changes, I get the comments. I could never give up carbs and candy. Blah blah blah. Then because I do like to keep to myself and not tell anyone what I'm doing now those people I told are watching what I eat and do. Ugh. It's so annoying! Maybe she will come around. I never thought I could give up popcorn, candy and all that bread but I don't even miss it anymore. Woo hoo
All the support and encouragement is wonderful, but only when a person decides for themselves to make positive lifestyle changes does it truly work. This applies not only to weight loss beta ny unhealthy "vise" I was MUCH heavier in my early 20's. When I see pictures from then I asked my mom why no one brought my weight to my attention. She laughed and said she did, in a nice way, but I wasn't ready. No more excuses for me. I have back issues which get worse when my weight goes up. I plan on living a long, healthy, active life, so SB seems right for me
Chickadeee, that was a very caring and considerate thing you did! even packing a SB lunch for her...now it's up to her, too bad that she kinda right away ditched the idea. But as others said, just maybe you planted a seed
You did the right thing. Some people just aren't ready or willing to accept it. I was going to create another thread but it's on topic here so I will post what I was going to, since it's along the same lines.
One of my closest friends is going to have gastric bypass on Wednesday. She and I fall in and out of touch because her depression - she isolates herself. Her sister is here in the area but uses my friend for money and convenience and goes through periods of liking her sister and then not (for years at a time). Her sister had a baby and there was some drama (he was married, she's white and he's black, etc.) so my friend went running back to help her sister.
That was almost 2 years ago. I've seen my friend twice in that time. Most recently, 2 weeks ago when she told me she was having surgery. I personally think it's for all the wrong reasons - she sees this as her "magic pill." She is about 100 pounds overweight, all belly. And she thinks this will solve her weight AND depression issues (she is also diabetic now because of the weight, doesn't want to take meds, just like your coworker!).
My friend went on SB with me my first time around. But she was not willing to "give stuff up." Since then, I know I have to. Or substitute where I can. Which is often. When she saw me, she asked how much I've lost and I said somewhere between 35-40 pounds, depending on the day. Of course, she asked how long it took (8 months) and how (SBD). She didn't want to hear it.
But, I decided to be the supportive one. Her sister has already said the mean and nasty stuff (not a soft delivery at all) including being jealous. So I am going to pick her up on Friday when she can be released, and stay with her through the weekend. I am nervous because that means *I* have to eat but decided not to cook anything or reheat so the smell won't make her sick or plant a bad seed - especially since she can only have clear liquids for a week!
The point of my getting this all out is that you just can't help people who don't want to help themselves. Don't put that on you, it's on them! Just be supportive (as you were) and go with it! She could give up pasta and bread for 2 weeks if it meant saving her life. But she's not willing to. Big difference!
jenne and chickadee you both are very giving and supportive. Jenne my BFF had lap band surgery in 2009. I hope your friend has better success than my BFF. She could have lost and maintained on SB instead of choosing surgery. I worry so much about her health as she is morbidly obese. Without being pushy I am trying to instill a confidence in herself which she is lacking. I'll support her whenever she is ready. You are a good person for being so caring...
Chickadee, she DID ask you how you lost weight and I think you were very loving and caring. It's too bad she really wasn't ready but perhaps she will be someday. ((( Chickadee )))
And, I must admit...that's when you tell them there are other options such as calorie counting and weight watchers. Although WW points system rewards them for veggies now (but unlimited fruit? really?), neither teaches them how to eat WELL. But, it might work for them and it's a heck of a lot better eating 1500 calories than eating 3K calories of the (IMHO) wrong foods. I send everyone to this website no matter what diet they choose, since there are so many options.
jekel - nope, don't give me that much credit!!!! I had to chose to be a good friend while still wondering and questioning. Everyone has their limits and if she was choosing this surgery with the best intents, I'd be more supportive 360 degrees but I just know she's not.
Absolutely!!! I know I have to remind myself at times, the weight didn't show up over night. it showed up one pound at a time, so that is my mantra for losing it. There is no quick fix, but there is a way to make the repair permanently.
I really find myself reading labels these days. People must think I'm strange talking out loud while comparing plain fat free greek yogurt. SB has really opened my eyes to how much sugar is in foods that should not have any in my opinion
Usuallly I Keep to Myself, Ugh
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