I had a good day. I went to the beach wearing a new bikini, no one made fun of me. I had some pics, and posted them up on Facebook. My friends were leaving comments saying how good I look and how proud they are of me.
I was walking around the store and some guy was walking by with his friend, locked eyes with me, and said to his friend, "that is a beautiful girl"...needless to say I was feeling good about myself...
But then it all goes downhill...I just had a massive binge. Chocolate chip Ice cream( 190 calories, small prepackaged portion) Pecan shortbread cookies(180 calories for 2), three chewy bars(270 calories) and then popcorn with butter(400 calories)...total binge=1040 0.o
Why do I want to binge when I feel good about myself? I hate when this happens. Time to get back on track right now and i'm hoping posting this will keep me accountable for the night....once a new day starts i'm fine, its just finishing out the day without eating even more thats a bit difficult. At this point, I would usually go for a run and get a nice workout in. But yesterday I hurt both of my ankles running and I'm taking a day or two off to let them heal...I just feel gross right now :/
I don't have an answer for you, but just want to validate your feelings. I actually wrote a post about feeling like people complimenting me brings on "the evil eye." Like, as long as my weight loss progress goes under the radar, I can keep it up. As soon as people notice, I get nervous and mess up. Kind of like being able to make a free throw shot when you are alone, but can't make basket for the life of you in an actual game with people watching.
I have had this exact thing happen to me before. I'm not sure why it happens, but all I know is that it does for some people. Just get right back on track. The next time you get this sort of attention, maybe you can look at it as an opportunity to not give into the binge. Also, don't try to eat nothing for tonight. Just have what you normally would. Oh and don't weigh yourself for 3 days or you'll see a gain which is mostly water weight.
Baker- I've had this happen to me before too and I never understand myself when it happens either. Maybe it's a somewhat of a euphoric feeling and then wanting to continue the euphoria via a food high?
You're not alone. It gets better as you get more comfortable with your losses, though (at least in my case, it has improved so much here in year three, compared to the first year).
OMG you honestly just wrote what I do. My worst is that when I'm finally looking/feeling good I tell myself it's ok to have all the things that made me fat in the first place. Like oh, well I look good now, I can have taco bell...as if it's permanent. I don't know why I do that - I know it's a form of failing but it's really hard to change. Not sure if it's deep down eating to cover this "new person" or just thinking that one thing wont kill me...leads to two, leads to ten, leads to fat...is that something you feel?
Happened to me twice this month! But I don't binge, I just have one treat. I got compliments from my husband, and than I feel like I reached my "goal" so I deserve to haave a treat
Next time it happens think about how you will look even better once you reached your goal!
Last year, I went back on track and lost a bit of weight. My SIL commented that she could see the difference and that I looked good. Within a day of her making that comment, I fell off the wagon and couldn't get back into any program for months. Something in her comment just triggered me to start making excuses again. Because hey, if she thought I looked good.. why should I try so hard anymore!! I could just slap myself now for thinking that.
I don't know if your budget allows for this, but if I am doing well and I want a "treat", I go buy myself some new clothing or something. I have often lost two pounds and regained one because I "celebrated"...
So now I have an AWESOME closet. Which I hope to be back in soon.
I know for me, my only source of thrill for a long time was eating a ton-not happiness-I felt that wya from food and a lot of other things-but exciting thrill? Food. So if I want to celebrate, I almost unconsciously want to reward myself with doing smething that gives me a thrill. And what is that? Food. I haven't felt that sort of joy from anything else in such a long time, certainly not shopping, that its hard not to go there when I want to either reward myself or continue feeling great.
I have been doing this for years. When I was young, I was very, very thin and much smaller than my peers. I used to get comments every, single day on my body - "oh you are so thin!" "I wish I was thin" "You look so skinny"... etc. etc. etc... It felt like being assaulted every day. Over and over again. I found out when I got into my 30s and started to get fat, that people don't comment on fat people's bodies. They might notice. they might comment to themselves, or whisper to each other, but no one walks up to you out of the blue and says, "wow! You're so fat!" They just don't. I found that it is much more comfortable to be fat than to be thin because of this. Whenever I lose a few pounds or workout and start to see muscles, I notice that people start to comment on my body. That sounds great, but feels awful, and it pretty much derails me for weeks or months. Wish I had a better answer for you, I have no answer but I do understand.
Oh and I also get self conscious taht people notice and I can't seem to find relief anywhere else but food. I start getting these "panic" feelings like " what if I screw up?! They'll notice then too" and I use food as comfort so I binge.
I also think that maybe I achieved that "great" look I always wanted, so I'm OK and I can overeat. But its not such a bad thing, it teaches me that I still have to relearn my eating habits and how my emotions are tied to foods, I am still emotionally vulnerable to binging.
I like to think of it as warning signs that there are still food related issues to work out.
I read somewhere as a motivational quote something like-You are compliments because you look better than you did before, so don't let this stop you from getting to your goal (your personal "great"-the real "great")
I felt kinda slapped in the face when I read it, but it helps me now lol.
Hmm.. I understand. I think it's like any addiction where you lose control and the addiction part of your brain says "just this once" or "it's ok, see, you're doing well".. I've had this before. Well don't beat yourself up about it too much, you're doing amazingly just be aware that this is now a trigger.
Good comments make you want to go offtrack???
