I am 31, 5'4 and weight about 300 pounds. Well my scale is jumping between 292 and 299 but close enough. I am married with a beautiful 2 year old son. At his post partum visit 2 years ago in May 2010 I was 262 pounds which was my prebaby weight. I was 263 at 4 weeks pregnant and didn't start gaining until the last trimester. I gained 15 pounds while pregnant which is less than what a lot of average weight women gain but normal for obese moms. I had a health pregnancy until 33 weeks when I developed preeclampsia and gave birth to a preemie at 36 weeks.
I wanted to lose weight after he was born but didn't. I suffer from depression and was on prozac since before the baby. I was depressed after him even being on antidepressants. I had to go back to work when he was a month old plus I was on birth control. I always gain weight on birth control and being depressed over leaving my baby did not help me stay healthy.
By the time he was 6 months old I was 282. I stopped birth control and maintained my weight. I started a new job around the same time. Last summer I really started working out by walking and doing wii fit daily yet my weight went up yet again to 292 and right now it jumps between 292 and 299.
Nothing I do works to lose weight. I will try eating better, counting calories and exercising for a month at a time but normally give up after 4 to 6 weeks because I lose absolutely nothing during that time.
On top of depression I also have polycystic ovarian syndrome. I stopped taking medication for both when my son was 6 months old because I had no health insurance to get prescriptions refilled. I was on medicaid while pregnant because my employer at the time had no benefits.
After I was at my current employer for a year in Nov 2011 I was able to enroll in health benefits. from 90 days to a year you can enroll in what is pretty much emergency or catatrophic care. Normal benefits don't kick in until a year.
When my benefits started in January I had no problem making dental appointments to have a cavity filled and my teeth cleaned but I have been too ashamed to call my doctor for a physical. I have been trying for a long time to lose weight on my own and nothing works. I know that I need to see my doctor for help and at least to be back on medication. With pcos I know I am at risk for type 2 diabetes among other things.
I am just scared to go in because of my weight even though I know my doctor is there to help. He is my son's doctor still and when we went for his 2 year check up I asked if they took my new insurance. They do but I still can't make myself call. I went 8 years without a dentist yet it was easier to call a dentist I didn't knnow and set up an appointment rather than to make an appointment for a physical with a doctor that I know and trust because he save mine and my son's life when I was pregnant.
I just hate myself so much right now for getting to 300 pounds but I think treatment for pcos and depression is probably what I need to jump start losing weight.
Hi Kierra, I think you're not alone at all in being nervous about doctors' visits. I know I feel disappointed in myself every time I go. It seems like there's always something else that is wrong after my blood work that is related to my weight. It's so frustrating. Is there maybe a family member or friend who could come with you to your appointment? Someone who understands what the situation is or who you wouldn't mind telling about it? It might help to have a hand to hold, especially this first visit. If you tell that person about the appointment, they might be willing to make it for you and then make sure you go by coming with you.
Just know that your doctor probably sees plenty of patients who are concerned with weight and want to lose. You can probably get lots of information from him, not only about diet and exercise, but about local resources to aid you both physically and mentally.
I'm completely confident that you can do this. It may mean a hard day, but it may also mean making the rest of your life easier! You've got lots of support here, and please keep us updated after the appointment!
I mean, I know he is your son's doc. Was your doc, but you're a customer and free to go anywhere you please. Well, anywhere your insurance pleases.
I, too, avoided my family doctor during/after weight gain because of embarrassment. In fact, I totally chickened out and went to a completely new doctor! (who I love by the way and has never made me feel badly about my weight). I was feeling so ill and even then I couldn't face my regular doctor. I ended up being diagnosed with multiple diseases. But now that I have my diabetes, hypertension, hypothyroidism and hyperlipidemia controlled with medication - my weight loss efforts have been met with results.
I almost forgot that I had chickened out because I'm so glad that I just got my butt to a doctor - any doctor.
It is difficult to lose weight if you have PCOS. If you do some googling, you should find that most women with PCOS have insulin issues. AND, if you have insulin issues, you will likely have more success counting your carbs than counting your calories. Actually, if you eat foods that are both low carb and low calorie, you will probably be even more successful. So, things like boiled eggs, chicken breasts, and leafy green vegetables are your friend. There is a PCOS section on this site. HTH.
Erin: my husband would probably go if we could find someone to watch our son.
Freckles: I think I would be ashamed to go to any doctor. I like my doctor but I just don't want to see any doctor. He never said anything negative about my weight at 260 so I don't think he would now. It's just my own shame of seeing a doctor. I have a high family risk of diabetes and hypertension so I know I need to be screened. I don't feel well and I am tired all the time and just feel run down. Right now it's working up the courage to call.
I can really only give you the same advice I gave myself: if I want out of all this flesh, it's going to take a lot of time, and it's going to take a lot of effort. And if I want to get out, I have to stick with it - it can't be rushed.
There's no quick fix, but there definitely is a way out. Once you really and truly believe that, it helps (that's what had to happen with me).
As for your doctor, I'd definitely go see him. Tell him that you're worried about your weight, tell him what you've tried so far, and then ask for advice on what to do. If he's a good doctor, he'll be able to help out.
Maybe start slow. Estimate calories (or don't count them at all). Stick to fruits and veggies, with some lean proteins (low fat / fat free dairy and lean meats) and just a couple whole grains.
Diet will be the biggest factor in losing weight. Exercise not as much, but it's still good for getting fit.
You CAN do this. Others have done it before you, and you can do it too. Be brave, and do what you have to do to get yourself healthy. Pick up the phone, call your doctor, and be honest with him. I think he'll be glad and so will you.
Good luck with everything! And here's some hugs!
And cheering for you!
Last edited by LiannaKole; 04-05-2012 at 07:01 PM.
I'm not on antidepressants right now. I ran out over a year ago when the last prescription while I was on medicaid ran out and my doctor would not write a new one without a physical. I think being back on antidepressants might help me stay motivated. Right now I just feel sad and tired all the time. I also want another baby and have been feeling really down about not being able to get pregnant but I know my weight is part of why.
All I can say is wow. It seems every time I visit this site someone is telling my story. I had my daughter 2 and 1/2 years ago. I went to my follow up appointment but haven't been back since. That's 2 years without a pap test. My excuse is I can't go and face the fact that I'm as fat now as I was during my pregnancy. Intellectually I know that I need the checkup to ensure I'm healthy. My daughter deserves a healthy mom. But I can't make myself do it.
I don't have the fix for this. I only want you to know that you are not alone. Somehow I hope that comforts you, even if it's only a little. Your post comforted me. We both need to go. Somehow we must find a way to face our fear. But for now, accept a warm hug over the internet from a mom in WI who feels like an utter failure for being fat more than 2 years later. Good luck.
I know someone has probably said this to you before, but taking a walk around the block a couple of times a day will help with your depression as well as weight loss. There are some studies out there that Prozac works just as well as exercise when it comes to stabilizing one's mood. I for one know that it's what pulled me out of my two-year, post-baby, funk. I was even able to stop my Xanax.
I'm putting off having another baby until my weight gets lower than pre-baby (333, I didn't gain during my pregnancy, but during my PPD after), but now my children will be sooooo far apart, 3+ years, so I can relate to your feeling down about weight issues and concieving.
Hang in there though! And go to the Dr's! What can they say to you other than lose weight, and you already know you need too! I was scared s*?tless about going, but I went, and I was able to catch some problems while they were still catchable.
please please go to the doctor....i dont know what to tell you or how to help you out but i do know this...
i had an extremely heavy friend in california who secluded herself for years because of her weight...she started feeling badly and refused to see a doctor until she was in so much pain that the ambulance took her...
and it was too late to stop the cancer....she died in a hospice just months later
while i know you dont have cancer...please dont put off good health care for weight issues
definitely, hon, you need to bite the bullet and hie thee to the medic.
you're so down on yourself for "failing" at your weight loss efforts when you don't even know with what you're working!
if you have PCOS and the commonly attendant insulin-resistance, you're basically beating yourself up bec you're shooting blind - you're wearing a blindfold and are seriously upset bec the dart went through the window instead of the bull's-eye.
one other thing: the most common side effect of prozac?
depression.
the second most common side effect?
impotence/frigidity.
get your butt over to your doctor and let him get that blindfold off before you go flinging any more darts.
I didnt' go to the doctor for 5 years and only then for the birth of my son. I didn't want to face the music. I didn't want to hear what I knew the doctor was going to say.
I finally went because of daily headaches for 3 months - all day long headaches. I felt like crap and I really didn't care to live a long life - just long enough to raise my kids.
So, I finally went. While there I discovered my blood pressure was through the roof high ( like 210-130 high). Then I found out my blood sugars were really high, and my cholesterol was high and my thyroid was reallllly low (like 54 when it should be under 3). I was depressed, suffered from restless leg syndrome, had headaches all the time. I felt like crapola on toast.
Then the headaches went away within three days. Then my energy started to come back, I started to sleep and all of a sudden life didn't suck so much any more. Here I am 16 months later 83 pounds lighter, pretty fit and happy. I would have NEVER believed it could be and it wouldn't have been if I didn't finally get myself to the doctor.
My blood sugars are now fine, my cholesterol is now fine and with weight loss my blood pressure is now fine - all I take is a medication for my thyroid.
So go to the doctor. You are doing yourself and your spouse and your child no favors by not going. And if you don't like your doctor, switch.
Kierra - please go. There are so many reasons you need to do this - first for yourself, and then for your husband and son.
Depression clouds your judgement. I think this is a case where you already know the worst case scenario - he'll tell you that losing weight would be a good idea for your health. Since you already know that, there really is nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of.
Doctors take the Hippocratic Oath - a pledge to help people and do them no harm. That means a lot, I think. Many doctors are less than perfect, I know, but you have one who knows you and knows your son. Start with him. you need medication for 2 conditions - both will probably be helped as you lose weight - so it's critical for you to get the help you need. The first step was realizing you need to be under a doctor's care. Don't let anything stand in the way of getting healthy.
We're all here for you. You can do this. Sometimes it helps to be totally frank with the other person. Tell him as soon as you are in the exam room together just how difficult it is for you to do this. I'm betting the compassion that was part of the reason he became a doctor will allow him to help you in ways you never imagined. And know this - you are not unique in your weight, depression, or pcos. He has seen it before. He is not there to judge you. He is there to help, and I'm sure he will if you let him. Keep us posted.
Hi... I also have PCOS and was very very big 7 years ago. then I saw this Dr who prescribed natural progestrone cream for me. I have to go to pharmacies that compound natural hormones so i cant get it from any chemist but because its natural it doesnt have the negative side effects of synthetic hormones. I cant tell you how much it helped me. i also cut out all carbs except low carb vegetables and low fat meat. I cut out all dairy except yogurt. I now lost a lot of weight but the point is I saw a female dr who is also practiced natural medicine. I used to see this male dr who was a total a**hole and made me feel so ashamed when i saw him that after seeing him, id go straight to the nearest fast food place, then eat in my car while crying, convinced that I was a total failure who was going to die from fatness and have to have a wall removed to get my dead body out of the house. I stopped going to Dr after that because I was so incredibly embarrassed. then i read this book by sandra cabot (syndrome-x) which i highly recommend, met her at an expo and the minute she saw me she said "honey, you have very low progestrone, you have syndrome x, fatty liver and shouldnt be eating gluten. Then she recommended my female Dr who worked in my city and i havent looked back. find a dr that you trust and that makes you feel good. ask her about NATURAL COMPOUND progestrone cream with the dosage that is right for you. I hope it works out. You are definitely not alone and have nothing to be ashamed of. you need to look after yourself because you now have your son. xo
Ashamed to go to the doctor.
But now that I have my diabetes, hypertension, hypothyroidism and hyperlipidemia controlled with medication - my weight loss efforts have been met with results.
