How do YOU deal with a RE-GAIN of weight you worked hard to lose??!
This is my third weight gain in 15 or so years. I am 34 years old and weighed 256 pounds at one time. I don't think ANYone who RE-gains weight is a failure.....Sometimes life and stress happens. My first re-gain was when I was diagnosed with cancer, my second re-gain was years later after the death of my mother, this is my THIRD re-gain of weight.....My boyfriend of 5 years father had a heart attack, and stroke, and is suffering from dementia/Alzheimers. He moved in with us last July. I have turned into sort of a care taker for him. People that suffer from dementia often lash out at people and insult and verbally attack them. So here I am and the weight has CREEPED UP once again. Part of me when this happens beats myself up, and the other part is says "O.K. your stressed out, here WE are again...GET with the program". I guess I was just wondering how you all deal with the disappointment of a re-gain..? So glad I found 3FC--it is a great site with lots of support....and people who give honest opinions.
I've been really thinking about this a lot lately!!! It's very hard, very very hard not tear yourself up about it. It sucks disappointing other people in life, but I really think it's worse to disappoint yourself, and that's what I feel while facing a re-gain. I haven't figured out quite yet how to deal with it, but wanted you to know you're not alone.
You've been through a lot! And you sure have kept a ton of weight off, definitely give yourself credit for that!
It's hard! I lost 80 lbs after I had my son only to put it back on (not all of it) when I got pregnant with my daughter. It was disappointing, but my prior success proved to me that it WAS possible to get it back off.
My daughter is 4. I'm still working at this. This is a lifetime goal for me... so as long as the scale is sitting still or moving down, I'm happy. I don't have a set time limit for my goal. I know I'll get there eventually . I'm not putting so much pressure on myself this time. The all or nothing thinking is what gets me in trouble!
I'm a lot like Val - I know I can do it, I've already done it! So I just put my head down and do better. Granted, I've never had a significant regain, but I did have a small one. For me vigilance and accountability every day helps so much more - I just don't let it get 'that bad' anymore, by staying aware of my weight and habits each day. But little slides of a few pounds? I forgive myself, choose to be diligent with my habits, and relose it.
This is a life long thing, there WILL be some variation. But it isn't beyond my control, I can and do control my choices and choose to be healthy
The first thing you do is forgive yourself. Beating yourself up about it is counterproductive. (I learned that the hard way after regaining nearly 70 pounds.) You're right, regaining isn't failure. I'm trying to look at it as a lesson learned -- a 'practice run', if you will -- and this time once I lose the weight, I'll know what not to do if I don't want to gain it back again.
EEK! I'm still working on it. I have only regained around 10#, but still. I decided I need to get back on my original plan. Lots of walking/hiking/bicycling and calorie counting. Got into the swing of it a little bit, for a couple of weeks and then sprained my ankle. So I've been sitting around, eating crap and garbage and waiting to heal a bit.
But I think the only way for me to lose the 10-ish and the rest I need to is to get really disciplined again.
I don't think dwelling on the re-gain will help. I know I did it. I know I need to get it under control. I can't go back and un-did it, so I have to mover forward on plan.
Just as soon as this ankle is well. Like maybe tonight I will try the WATP dvd but only walk carefully, no lateral movement, no up and back. One mile only of straight up walking just to get moving. I think I've been eating more again because I'm so frustrated at not getting up and at 'em.
I regained about 25 lbs at one point. I'm down about 10 lbs from that (hurrah!). I guess the first thing to do is to work through the frustration and disappointment that you have to do it AGAIN (at least that's how it was for me).
Then you make a plan of action. Maybe it's the same as before, maybe it's not. Whatever works.
Then you just... do it, I guess. Keep your eye on the prize - do things, watch things, read things that help you remember what you're doing. After a while, it's easy to lose sight of the ultimate goal (especially when you get to a more comfortable weight for your body).
The main thing is not to give up, even if it's slow-going or no-going for a while. I had points where I thought, "Screw it, I'm just gonna eat." And I did for a while. Then I started to feel the fat really coming back, and remembered how I felt at 207 lbs, and I couldn't keep letting myself go.
I agree with what everyone else has said about getting right back at it.
You are not a failure. You are human. We all are. The one thing that helped me the most this time, was to weigh every single day. I don't write it down every day, only once a week so that I can see fluctuations on paper. But, that one little step keeps me honest and makes me eat healthy at least 90% of the time. I also use a redline weight that I refuse to go over. If I even start creeping close to it, I refigure what I'm doing and see where I might be eating more than I should, or exercising less than I should. It has worked really well this time, and I haven't gained back any of the 100 lbs. that I lost for over a year now. I know that's not a significant length of time by most standards, but it is for me. I was always either gaining or losing as an adult.
The wonderful people here at 3fc gave me so many insights into maintenance and what to do after I lost the weight. It's been a real lifesaver for me.
I look at people who for years and years insult anyone who loses weight, and won't admit that they are unhappy about their own weight (but won't resort to changing unhealthy eating habits) and their insecurities slip out once in awhile.
I don't want this to consume my life so much that I get bitter like that.
I don't think too hard about the whys-I *feel* something. I know I won't be completely happy until I am more fit-its a gut feeling. I would rather keep trying and know that I gave my best effort to doing something that makes me happy than be in denial about it. Maybe my desires will change, I don't know, but I know that for many many years I have wanted to achieve and maintain a more fit lifestyle and physique, so I might as well go for it. As long as I want it and I can at least put in some effort in getting it, I do it.
I've regained twice. Lost 63lbs, regained 30 - just completely fell off the wagon, lost all motivation, and didn't come back around for a few months. Then I lost 40, and regained all, plus more because of pregnancy.
I just pick myself up, dust myself off, and move on. It's hard, and sometimes I think about where I would be had I not regained, but I try to just focus on the present, rather than the past.
I think about what made me regain. My second regain was pregnancy related, but I used the pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted, which was not good!
I try to look at the regains as a learning experience.
3x in the past 10 years, I have lost 30+ lbs and regained. This time around, I have definitely regained on a week-to-week basis and I feel like kicking myself the next week when I have to "re-lose" those 2 lbs.
I've really just had to get to a place where I forgive myself and move on. In past "attempts" - I have a bad couple of days, or bad couple of weeks, regain and then I quit because I just work myself up over it too much. I lose confidence, I beat myself up and it ends up being too much and I go back to stress binging and regaining.
This time, I have learned to brush it off and move on. I do not dwell - it irks me that I've lost and gained the same couple of pounds since November (hah!) - but, I am proud of myself for maintaining and continuing to work. Perhaps I've learned to look at the other positives rather than dwelling on the pounds I've regained that took so much work to lose in the first place, I dunno. I just realized it was doing me no good to do that, it was only fueling failure, nothing else. This time, I do not want to fail, so I'm doing it differently. It's not easy to let go and start over every single day, but my old ways didn't work, so why not try something new?
How do YOU deal with a RE-GAIN of weight you worked hard to lose??!
. I'm not putting so much pressure on myself this time. The all or nothing thinking is what gets me in trouble!
