When I started 2 weeks ago here, I thought I weighed in at 296 (bad enough)...I weighed and measured at my gym yesterday. 307. My all time heaviest. I weigh more than the day I gave birth to my daughter. Devastating. I cried in the gym. I was so ashamed of myself.
I am not going to beat myself up, because I am doing well right now..My big problem is..I KNOW in my head that I am this big...I KNOW in the pictures I LOOK this big. But when I think of myself, I DO NOT think of myself as this big. Major delusion? How do I make myself REALIZE heart and head that I AM this big and I need to stick with this?
I'm excellent at starting strong..not so well finishing. Help?
I'm not sure, but I can totally relate. I about had a stroke when I stepped on the scales, Jan 1. But I'm not going to give up. Just jump in and go, go, go. That is what I am going for. I'm here for support if you need me.
Everyone has a different thing that makes them want to keep losing weight. Some people like to see the scale drop, others like the way they feel even if the scale doesn't change, or they like the challenge or the muscles. You'll find out what it is that motivates you, and once you do that will help a lot.
One thing I recommend is when you feel like you can't do it anymore, come to 3FC and just read a few posts. Don't pressure yourself to post if you don't want, just read a few, see what others are saying, then promise yourself you'll think about your decision before committing to anything. That has helped me, maybe it'll help you too.
It's called fatorexia. If you google it, you will find lots of information on it (I just heard of this term tonight on a different post). A lady even wrote a book on it. Maybe some of the info you find for fatorexia will help you come to terms with it. Good luck with everything!
If you think of yourself with shame all the time, you'll find it harder to do what needs to be done--at least that's my experience.
As long as you're committed to doing what needs to be done to get healthier, I don't think you need to worry about whether or not you think of yourself as "this big." Shame can be crippling, something those of us who've been where you are understand only too well.
You DO have to recognize that there's no quick fix for weight as high as ours. This is a process you need to start now and continue for the rest of your life. When you reach goal, maintenance will be a challenge, and maintenance will stay a challenge. This is the way it is, and it's essential to start changing your mindset: this is a permanent lifestyle change.
Stick around, keep in touch, and stay committed to YOU.
If you think of yourself with shame all the time, you'll find it harder to do what needs to be done--at least that's my experience.
As long as you're committed to doing what needs to be done to get healthier, I don't think you need to worry about whether or not you think of yourself as "this big." Shame can be crippling, something those of us who've been where you are understand only too well.
You DO have to recognize that there's no quick fix for weight as high as ours. This is a process you need to start now and continue for the rest of your life. When you reach goal, maintenance will be a challenge, and maintenance will stay a challenge. This is the way it is, and it's essential to start changing your mindset: this is a permanent lifestyle change.
Stick around, keep in touch, and stay committed to YOU.
This is spot on. Angela said to you exactly what I would have said to you, but mine would not have been nearly so eloquent.
I really do feel your pain, as most of us do in this thread.
BUT, you are working towards a change, and I think that is worth focusing on, much more so than continuously dwelling on how far you have to go.
Go read some of the goals and mini goals threads. There are a lot of people who have successfully lost over 100 pounds. Reading their successes reminds me that I can do this, as long as I don't give up.
Obviously I can really only speak to my own experiences here, but I think us big girls will always have body dysmorphic disorder problems to one degree or another.
When I was 332 and not caring about the weight, I didn't think I was THAT big to look at. As I started losing weight - even 100 pound weight loss - I didn't see myself as having changed at all (seriously). Now as I am approaching goal, I obviously see the changes, but it comes in fits and starts. Sometimes I see it, but usually I just look and see ME.
I think the most important thing to remember is that you are currently working on getting healthy. That is HUGE. Even if you only lose a few pounds according to the scale, going to the gym and just moving more is going to be beneficial to your health. No matter how you think you look, be it bigger or smaller than you actually are, once you are able to walk several blocks without being winded, or tackle stairs like they are no big deal, that's what really matters.
And the bonus is, the body size change will come along too, whether you "see" it or not.
It's all downhill from here. In a good way. You've got your high weight, and you know that a week from now, a month from now, it'll be less.
You don't need to think of yourself as being huge; the number is stark enough, and it'll guide you. You're working on making things better, and that's the most important thing.
The self-image thing? I didn't really see myself as huge, either, and I was way the heck bigger than you. The few times I saw pictures, it was absolutely shocking, and I just sort of filed the information away to be forgotten again. Even now, when I've lost almost 120 pounds, I don't really see the difference. I just see me. That's how we work. But numbers don't lie; focus on them, and eventually what you see in your head'll match the outside.
"But when I think of myself, I DO NOT think of myself as this big."
I kind of think thats a good mindset to have. Not so much in some ways but alot of people who need to lose weight are not comfortable with themselves. At your current weight you are. You know your weight now, and just remember, its the highest number you'll ever see on the scale
When I was at my highest, I honestly didn't think I looked as big as I was. I think thats why it took me so long to start to do something about it. But once I realized that Yes, I was this size, I was able to lose weight. I don't see a difference in the mirror. To me I look the exact same. But when I see photos, thats when I can tell.
I agree with Pacifica Bee when she said we prob will have body dysmorphic disorder problems from one degree to another. Just have to look at the bigger picture. Excerise is for fitness. Working out will help you in more ways then you realize.
Inadvertently made my "info" lie =[
