How do you approach your weight loss with friends?
Hey everybody! I'm a long time lurker but first time poster. I've lost about 13 pounds since August and gotten myself back well within the normal bmi range which I'm super excited about. While my family is super supportive, my friends seem much more ambivalent when I try to share my success. It's not as though I brag about it, and they are all thinner than me anyway and not trying to lose weight, but it feels like whenever I share my success and excitement, they just brush it off. Has anybody else experienced this? How do you approach the topic with your friends?
I don't talk about it much. Often, others will bring it up and ask me about my "secrets". when I explain that I eat lots of green veggies and everything else in moderation, they often explain why they can't do that. Mostly, I don't expect anyone to be that interested. Good job on your success.
I experienced this same phenomenon when i lost my first 65 lbs and when i was planning my wedding. i would share my excitement with my friends and they would just kind of be like whatever. it sort of made me learn that no one will be as excited about these things as i am.
but the good news is, you've got the 3fc community to share in your happiness.
I agree with jayohwhy: We all come here to talk about our weight successes and failures because our physical world friends usually don't really care or notice.
"friends" don't seem to care, want to know, or hear about it. Neither does family. Unless they are in the same boat, I find they are tolerant, but not interested. Like-minded people want to know, care, and are supportive. Otherwise, people are put off by our enthusiasm and wish we wouldn't discuss it; and that has been my experience so unless someone wants to know, I stay mum about it. That's why I come here....so I can get some support.
Edited to add: There is the occasional "reaction" to this current weight loss from people I haven't seen in a while, but beyond the initial HOLY COW you lost (a significant amount of???) weight, it pretty much ends there. This actually happened Tuesday at work--a coworker I haven't seen for a while said exactly that --- and I said yup 28 pounds since spring, 20 since July, and then the subject was dropped. So, I leave it dropped. If you want to discuss it, I'm all over it--but if my weight loss journey bores or annoys, we don't even have to go there.
Last edited by 124chicksinger; 01-05-2012 at 01:43 AM.
Okay I'll be honest - it's because they honestly don't care I'm sure your friends are happy for you, but it sort of ends there.
I wasn't always overweight. I was effortlessly thin until college. Weight problems never crossed my mind, I never understood why people were fat (boy did I learn), never saw it as a big deal, it just wasn't an interesting subject to me. I tuned it out.
Think of it as any major lifestyle change - ie. getting into a workout program, a new boyfriend, a new car, a new dog, etc. you bring it up once, your friends are happy for you, but then it kind of ends there. If it's not a mutually interesting subject then that's that.
Remember the first friend to have a baby? That's alllll she talks about?
When a lot of people start their weight loss journey, they cannot focus on anything else and cannot stop talking about it (this is no different than smoking, religion, knitting, whatever!!!) - and I think sometimes, in the height of our excitement, we forget this.
After 8 years, I would have driven friends insane, so I come here.
I just don't talk about it with my friends. Thankfully, my husband will listen and I come to 3FC often too, but weight loss is SUCH a charged topic. Some friends will take your weight loss as a reflection of themselves (as in wonder if they need to lose too, or wonder why you feel it necessary to lose). Some may worry you've gone to far (even when that is not remotely the case!) or get frustrated with how your new eating/exercise habits affect your social life.
I do have one friend that I'm open with about it but even then I don't try to make it the main topic of conversation and will only bring it up if I hit a major milestone. Beyond that if she's interested I let her bring it up so it doesn't engulf the conversation.
I tend not to say anything either. I did text a long time friend of mine about a week ago that I had lost 20lbs since she saw me last and all I got back was "cool" and an immediate change of subject. No big deal to me either way. I'm happy if people care, but could care less when they don't.
I have a couple of friends I discuss it with - one is my BFF, so naturally we discuss it because we discuss EVERYTHING. The other is an obese friend who has been trying to lose weight most of her adult life. Sometimes we share personal insights & tips, etc. Mostly for that I just come to 3FC.
Anyone else who asks, I'm happy to oblige the conversation, but in general I don't mention it. If someone compliments me, I say "thank you, I've worked hard at it!" then drop it. I find most people, be it friend or frenemy, are pretty much too wrapped up in their personal whatever to be concerned about my personal whatever.
Last edited by Beach Patrol; 01-05-2012 at 11:05 AM.
For me it is just the way it is. I will not put anything bad in my mouth ever again. I do not eat birthday cake, or regular ice cream or pizza or regular cheese or regular chips...I just dont do it. I have friends and family who think I am nuts but like I said it is what it is and I know I will NEVER go back to being overweight. This is a life change for me. Food is my addiction and if I slip once I fear like any drug I will be right back at it.
I don't talk about it either, unless people bring it up - which has happened a lot since I started my journey. They normally ask how I did it, I say I count calories, and leave it at that. I honestly don't think I've ever brought it up first in any convo.
Last edited by sept15lija; 01-05-2012 at 12:52 PM.
My friends are all very supportive, but most of them have gone through or are going through their own weight struggles (be it 10 lbs or 60 lbs). It may be that if your friends have always been thin, that they just don't get it.
How do you approach your weight loss with friends?
I'm sure your friends are happy for you, but it sort of ends there.
