I wanted to write this post to see if there were any other folks like me, perhaps lurking out there. In January of 2010, I began losing weight. By October of that year, i was down 50 pounds. Then, well, I just stopped. Or, to put it bluntly, I gained. 17 pounds, in point of fact. I started Weight Watchers in April, and have managed to lose 5-10 pounds, but I haven't really been motivated to continue losing my second 50. I've been working with my therapist on why this is, and we have come up with a couple of ideas:
1) I have intimacy issues, and getting below 213 will put me at the lowest weight I've ever been as an adult, thereby opening me up to a whole new host of body image issues. Part of my stalling on losing the second half of my weight has been related to fear of attention from the opposite sex, I think, or fear of opening myself up to another person.
2) I feel pretty good about myself right now. I'm a size 14/16, I can shop in a lot of stores, and I'm healthy (in terms of my PCOS, that is, since I don't have the symptoms anymore). That makes it harder to be, well, motivated to continue.
After working through these issues, I am ready to start with the same fire and fervor I had in January of 2010. I want to achieve my goals in 2012, and I'm fine with it taking as long as it takes to get there. However, I wanted to get this post out there to see if there are other people in the same boat, and also to give myself a little bit of accountability!
Hi,
I am not an expert of any sort but you indicate that you think your stalling has to do with vulnerability over dropping below a certain weight and you might be sort of stalling/self sabotaging to prevent that from happening.
That's no fun. It's bad enough to fear the numbers going up. It's totally unfair to find you have to fear them going down too .
What if you ignore the numbers for a bit? You've lost 50 lbs so you know what works for you. Would you consider finding an NSV to focus on for awhile could get you through this scary patch, like maybe some sort of fitness or clothing goal? That way you don't have to fear the scale but you'll still be working towards your overall goal and you can wake up some morning and find you reached it and everything's okay?
I don't know if that's helpful. It's just what came to mind when I saw your post... and I have a personal bias towards fitness goals as I find NSVs more fun than scale victories.
I totally get where you are coming from. I know that I use my weight as a security blanket to keep people away (especially men).
I too get totally committed to start losing weight and then it becomes so overwhelming for me that I tend to slide a little bit. Actually over the holidays I not only fell off the wagon but I rolled down the hill and crashed into the barn!
I too want to achieve my health goals in 2012 and after a lot of "soul searching" I feel that I am now in a place where hopefully I can keep motivated. I have decided that I can only control what I do and cannot control what others do. So once I lose the weight and start to get that male attention that is just going to have to happen and I will deal with it when it happens.
I really like the support of this board and even though I do not post very often lurking helps me a lot.
Sylvied I have definitely considered taking a scale break. The problem I have is that I tend to let things slip when I'm not held accountable for them. My solution, I think, is going to be that I go to my Weight Watchers meetings regularly but let them weigh me and not tell me the number.
Rella777 I look forward to seeing where your journey takes you as well! The holidays became the Month of Pie in my house, lol. It was not pretty. But I've been back on track since Sunday and I'm feeling really good, hooray!
I can't speak to your first point so much. I actually met my husband at my highest prepregnancy weight so I've never had the idea in my head that low body weight=relationships. I know there are a number of members on here who have also found their spouses/partners at higher weights. I know relationships can be scary but changing your body weight doesn't affect your relationships themselves. If you're scared of getting into a relationship deal with that head on but it shouldn't be related to your body weight in and of itself because trust me overweight/obese individuals can (and do!) find love too.
As for body image issues.. well, I've had a ton. A lot of that has to due with my body type (I have large breasts, which has made buying clothes/bras locally impossible). I've also had to come to accept my body post weight loss and pregnancy (loose skin, stretch marks and all). However, I can tell the way I feel and the energy I have makes it all worth it.
As for your health concerns going away. I know this is very individual but for me being 20-30lbs overweight makes a difference when it comes to cysts. When I was 30lbs overweight I had a cyst that grew so large it eventually turned into a tumor and had to be removed (along with one of my ovaries). Since losing more weight I've never had problems again. I'm just trying to say that even small amounts of weight can make a difference when it comes to PCOS. I'm not trying to scare you are anything but it's good to be aware of these things.
Also, when it comes to my joints/energy level. I've seen a HUGE difference. I have a 3 year old and at my highest it was very difficult for me to keep up with her. After my weight loss it's become much easier. I also sleep better at night (I used to get horrible insomnia, now I get it rarely). Another thing to consider too is that while you might not see any health risks now they could crop up down the road.. It's something I wish I would've thought more about when i was in my early 20's...
ETA: I also forgot to wish you good luck with dealing with these issues. It's not always the easiest thing and I DO think a very, very big part of weight loss and maintenance is the mental road. Good luck!
Last edited by runningfromfat; 01-04-2012 at 01:04 PM.
My gynecologist is happy where I am at the moment, which is why health isn't currently a big motivator (not that I'm wishing cysts on myself, but I'm glad they're not there for now!). So losing weight at the moment is more about, well, vanity than anything else. And vanity (for me) is not as good a motivator as "holy crap, I have PCOS, must lose lots of weight immediately!"
I know in my head that weight has very little to do with finding love, but I think a big part of finding love is loving yourself, and I don't always project confidence into the world. My therapist and I are working on finding ways that I can love myself more, without tying it so much into what the number on the scale says. It's a slow process, but I'm getting there.
Weight loss really is such a mental game sometimes - the science might be calories in versus calories out but the reality of it is much more complicated than that!
A Year of Stalling
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