[LiannaKole]

My friend is my height (5' 5") and about 115 lbs at the MOST, and a couple years older than me. She doesn't look too skinny (small boned), she's actually very pretty. I'm worried, though, because she just realized that foods have calories and calories can make her gain weight (she's never, EVER had a weight problem, though).

So for the past few weeks I've seen her spend a LOT of time on websites that, frankly, are dedicated to people who advocate anorexia. Apparently they give tips and tricks for eating very little or nothing at all. She talked extensively about these for a few days, and now is silent about it but still goes to the websites (I'm not spying - she keeps her computer screen in full view, so when I talk to her it's in plain sight and easy to see). She became fascinated by this, and then she got obsessed with losing 5 lbs.

A couple days ago I asked her if I could borrow some paper and she directed me to a stack of notebooks. I grabbed a pink one and flipped it open, and I found her food log for the past few weeks. Her calorie count is pretty low. Like, the highest day I saw was 1000 calories, and that was only one day. Most days are around 700. With the days around 700, she notes "good day!" and with 1000 she noted "ate too much."

I didn't mean to snoop - what she does with her food is her business, but she is my good friend and I'm worried. It hasn't been going on long enough to affect her health, so far as I know. But most days she eats a rice cake, an apple and some veggies (lettuce, spinach, cabbage, etc.).

If it was just dropping 5 lbs that she wanted, I'd feel less concerned than I do now because of the anorexia websites. She also has a history of some self-destructive behaviors linked to emotional problems. She's also afraid she'll end up slightly obese like some of her family members.

I'm not sure what to do here. I really don't want to give the impression that I'm trying to dictate her diet, but I am a little worried. I'm kind of hoping this is all temporary.

Has anyone else had someone close to them do something like this? What did you do? At this point, I'm thinking I should leave her alone because it's not chronic or anything yet, but if it continues, I'm kind of at a loss...

[DivineFidelity]

I found this stuff in my older sister's room when I was in middle school and she was in high school. Her journal had measurements of every part of her body and the words "too fat" next to everything...pictures of girls with ribs sticking out in it, and a food journal with daily calorie intakes totaling around 700-1000, almost all of them saying "ate too much" next to them. I also heard her throw up after eating a couple of times...and found diet pills in her room with the journals.

Needless to say, I went to our mom. I figured it would be easier coming from her....and I was the younger sister and she wouldn't have listened to me anyways. It turns out it had been going on for several months and she was in bad shape....she started getting really sick, I'm guessing from not getting the right nutrients and stuff. All I know is my mom didn't do anything about it because she didn't know how to handle it, and 3 months later my older sister was in the hospital having her stomach pumped because she took about 20 diet pills because she wanted to be thin. She's okay, but from that point on mom took her seriously. They made sure she was eating and got her to see a shrink.

Obviously we're too old now to just go tell someone's mom on them....but I just want you to think about what could happen to your friend if you DON'T voice your concerns. If I were you, I would do research about a healthy ways to diet and print it and bring it with you. Sit her down and say I've noticed what you've been doing, and I just want to show you some things....and show her a healthy BMI for her bone structure and height....different kinds of diets and the calories she can consume and still lose weight because of her BMR...BMR calculators are available all over the internet and she can figure it out.....Also talk about how she could eat a little more and then throw in some exercise if she felt the need to burn some of what she ate...

I think showing up with research in hand will probably lead to her being a lot more open to the discussion. Make sure she knows you're just concerned about her because you love her, and stress that she is already beautiful and gorgeous and all that.