Hi, I'm sorry I really dont mean to sound depressing , but this is honestly what i'm feeling right now. Will I have to count calories forever until eternity?
I tried to have one day, ONE DAY ONLY, where I could eat freely (not binge) but eat in such a manner as to indicate that I'm not afraid of weight gain while still trying to be healthy, and for some reason, I found myself wanting to eat everything (I kind of did). from white bread and butter to oreo cookies to almond joy candy bars to sprite, I just managed to think of all the things i'd been 'missing'. I know I'm plagued with disordered eating, eating when I'm sad, angry, bored, happy, depressed, stressed, etc etc, and sometimes i feel like the odd man out cos everyone around me seems to eat 'normal' (emotionless eating), so I find myself having different nutritional needs from my family, such as lower carbs, higher protein and fruit (I'm not on any particular plan, just doing moderate portions triyng to choose wisely), and it's hard...
I'm glad for this forum of people going through the very same thing (taking charge of your health against all odds), but it's hard to put my health as the main focus whe I know it's the most important but I can't get past the vanity behind my intentions. Most times i just long for 'non diet' foods and get so preoccupied with my weight loss efforts. Or maybe I'm just getting comfortable cos I've been at this weight for weeks now or because my fiance isn't complaning? Also in my society being overweight is not such a bad thing, it's actually considered a sign of 'good living!!!' So when I look at the standards set by my immediate environment, it's hard to single myself out for this journey.
Another thing is I look foward to having kids in the near future. I know I'll gain weight during pregnancy, so I wonder why bother now? sorry for the rant but I'm having a VERY HARD time making this a 'lifestyle change', that's just a 'diet' euphemism in my mind. I know many of you guys have succeeded in living healthy not just for temporary weight loss, so I was just curious, how did you make the switch? For me I'm a serial dieter, I'm either gaining weight or losing it. I've never consciously been able to maintain my weight. I'm afarid I'm wasting my time cos when I have kids I'll gain it all back and start struggling again.
I wish I had some great motivation to be healthy for today and make good choices no matter what, but right now I'm not so sure... I know this is a mess and I can't blame you if you can't make out what my point is- even I'm not so sure what it is- but I'm just feeling a little confused... I can't afford to gain any weight back!
Hello fight2winthis, The answer to your first question about counting calories forever? The answer is probably yes. Of course there are some people that can successfully adopt an intuitive eating lifestyle, but I can tell you that for me, that will probably never happen. I'm all too aware of how severe my food addiction is. That said, there may be a time in your life when you'll be able to take a meal off or a day off from counting...maybe even a week! However, overall, you will need to keep track. But, is that really so bad? To me, it's better than the alternative. I hate that out of control feeling. I find that I don't even enjoy those foods that I want so much when I'm gorging on them with no end in sight!
Even though your environment sees overweight as a good thing, that doesn't mean that it is. I'm sure you know this. A healthy weight means more energy and a longer life (as a whole). Since you want to have kids, you need lots of energy for it! Also, if you eat healthy, your chances of a healthier baby are higher. Yes, you will put on weight when pregnant, but really, it's only supposed to be baby weight. If you go into the pregnancy already overweight and you see it as a chance to eat anything and everything you want, then you will just be harming yourself...this is what I did and i spent years being overweight...obese actually. I had less energy to take care of my kids and it was a much more difficult journey.
I can understand your confusion....you have to really think about what you want in life.......also, just because you lose weight, doesn't mean you can never have treats. I know that there are times when I will be having things I like and I"ll enjoy them, but then, I'll get right back on track.
Finally, if you decide that you do want to lose weight, then I highly recommend not keeping foods that trigger you to binge in your home. Just like an alcoholic wouldn't keep beer in the house. The temptation is too great and the likelihood of not indulging too high.
I think I'll always have to count calories. I'm hoping that I can get to a point where I'm ballparking a bit, but I think I'll always have to keep a running total in my head.
The lifestyle change thing... I try to focus on "being healthy" not "losing weight" and I hope you don't think that's just another euphemism. For me it means choosing to eat really healthy foods in good portions. I exercise to get stronger so that I can do stuff, not to lose weight. In fact, I'm not sure my jogging really even helps me lose weight! As far as all the non-diet foods... I occasionally still eat them now! I've just learned to walk away when I don't reaaalllly want it AND that I'm often satisfied with the first couple of bites, then I can stop. But I spent months not eating them when I started, which I think broke my "addiction". Best of luck.
Another thing is I look foward to having kids in the near future. I know I'll gain weight during pregnancy, so I wonder why bother now?
If you want to have a healthy pregnancy that is a good motivation right there! Your risk of PIH, PE, GD and many other complications is greatly increased if you are obese (there is also as much as a 30% higher risk of certain fetal defects, scary stuff, but let's keep the focus on you)
Plus, learning to eat healthily now will only help you and your future little ones I cannot overemphasize how important good diet is to growing a healthy baby inside a healthy mom.
And exercise now, get yourself fit and limber! This is also very important for comfort during pregnancy. Strong tight muscles and ligaments and flexibility are your best friends when carrying a tiny growing human around on the front of you for 40 weeks! (not to mention delivery!)
You will not be obsessively counting calories for the rest of your life if you are pursuing an all around health and fitness goal. Sure, you will always be conscious of what you are eating, but that is not a bad thing.
Put in terms of future pregnancies, would you rather be counting calories and learning to be a conscious eater now, or on a severely restricted diet while pregnant because you have diabetes or another complication requiring dietary modification?
However, overall, you will need to keep track. But, is that really so bad? To me, it's better than the alternative. I hate that out of control feeling. I find that I don't even enjoy those foods that I want so much when I'm gorging on them with no end in sight!
Even though your environment sees overweight as a good thing, that doesn't mean that it is. I'm sure you know this. A healthy weight means more energy and a longer life (as a whole). Since you want to have kids, you need lots of energy for it! Also, if you eat healthy, your chances of a healthier baby are higher. Yes, you will put on weight when pregnant, but really, it's only supposed to be baby weight. If you go into the pregnancy already overweight and you see it as a chance to eat anything and everything you want, then you will just be harming yourself
I can understand your confusion....you have to really think about what you want in life Finally, if you decide that you do want to lose weight, then I highly recommend not keeping foods that trigger you to binge in your home. Just like an alcoholic wouldn't keep beer in the house. The temptation is too great and the likelihood of not indulging too high
I guess it's not so bad to keep track/choose wisely. I figure you have to know yourself and live accordingly. I've always admired people who don't eat everything set before them and want to be like them, but I find myself distracted instead by skinny people who eat what they want when they want it, and comparing myself to them can be depressing. However I now realise I have to set my standards for myself if I want to get the best out of life. As for pregnancy, I have to admit I'm terrified I might get extremely heavy but I guess the thought of being able to keep up with my kids should be motivational no? Thanks so much for your hugs, I really needed the encouragement!
Even during pregnancy, yes, you'll gain weight, but it shouldn't mean you gain eighty pounds. I think twenty-five to thirty is usually about the right amount. And that'll be a piece of cake to take off after!
I try to focus on "being healthy" not "losing weight" and I hope you don't think that's just another euphemism. For me it means choosing to eat really healthy foods in good portions. I exercise to get stronger so that I can do stuff, not to lose weight. In fact, I'm not sure my jogging really even helps me lose weight! As far as all the non-diet foods... I occasionally still eat them now! I've just learned to walk away when I don't reaaalllly want it AND that I'm often satisfied with the first couple of bites, then I can stop. But I spent months not eating them when I started, which I think broke my "addiction". Best of luck.
That's true! Rather than putting the emphasis on 'avoiding this' and 'avoiding that', why dont I adopt the choice of 'eating healthy foods in good portions'? It puts a whole new spin on things and I'm already feeling like this mindset would keep me from feeling the negativity of giving up my treats and instead I'll focus on all the good I'm doing for my health. There's been nothing worse for me than the feeling of deprivation and I think I have to increase the focus on good nutrition (including calorie counting of course) as opposed to just calorie deficits. I have a great exercise rouine that I love and I'm getting stronger and more flexible everyday, so I've got the exercise part down. Now if only I could enjoy my dietary habits a bit more...
Girl, I could count calories in my sleep! I've been doing it so long, it's like second nature to me. I know it's WORK at first, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. I'm back to restricting calories, but I just gave myself about 2 weeks of eating at my maintenance calorie level. I didn't write everything down like I do now, but at any point during the day, I could give you a pretty good estimate of how many calories I had eaten. Restricting calories is the hard part for me, not the counting. But I've been doing this so long, I have my ways of fending off hunger/cravings. There's hope- live and learn .
I used to be a serial dieter too- since I was about 15. I was always either gaining or losing. The 'switch' for me came as I educated myself about food and how it effects my body. I honestly enjoy eating "clean" now- it doesn't feel like a treat to eat the junk food I used to eat, it just feels crappy and I don't do it. Not that everything I eat has tons of nutritional value- like organic peanut butter cups or coconut based organic ice cream- but I know that nothing in it is harming my body if I eat it in a reasonable portion once in a while.
I think it's all about balance and everyone has to strike their own. I really don't feel like I'm 'on a diet' but I'm doing what I need to do to have the healthiest body possible. If that means restricting my calories and getting my *** to the gym 6 days a week (and right now, that's what it means), I'll do it, knowing this kind of intensity is only temporary. What is not temporary is that clean eating and exercise are and will be a part of my life.
Seems like working through some of the mental/emotional issues would also benefit you. I know it did for me! Really think about WHY you want to lose weight, why it matters, why all the hard work is worth it. And write it down somewhere you can see it! There's a great Neitzsche quote that says something to the effect of "when the 'why' is important enough, you can withstand any 'how'." Make sure that 'why' is in the forefront when times get tough.
On a side note, are you really in Nigeria? I lived in Kenya for a bit and I loved the Nigerian movies they'd play on TV! So funny!
If you want to have a healthy pregnancy that is a good motivation right there! Your risk of PIH, PE, GD and many other complications is greatly increased if you are obese (there is also as much as a 30% higher risk of certain fetal defects, scary stuff, but let's keep the focus on you)
Plus, learning to eat healthily now will only help you and your future little ones I cannot overemphasize how important good diet is to growing a healthy baby inside a healthy mom.
And exercise now, get yourself fit and limber! This is also very important for comfort during pregnancy. Strong tight muscles and ligaments and flexibility are your best friends when carrying a tiny growing human around on the front of you for 40 weeks! (not to mention delivery!)
You will not be obsessively counting calories for the rest of your life if you are pursuing an all around health and fitness goal. Sure, you will always be conscious of what you are eating, but that is not a bad thing.
Put in terms of future pregnancies, would you rather be counting calories and learning to be a conscious eater now, or on a severely restricted diet while pregnant because you have diabetes or another complication requiring dietary modification?
For some reason the term 'conscious eater' just sounds trendy. It inspires images of someone who cares about her body. Thanks for letting me know this- about pregnancy and the importance of being healthy. I just chucked it up to gaining extra kgs but now I know it's much more!
Girl, I could count calories in my sleep! I've been doing it so long, it's like second nature to me. I know it's WORK at first, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.
I think it's all about balance and everyone has to strike their own. I really don't feel like I'm 'on a diet' but I'm doing what I need to do to have the healthiest body possible. If that means restricting my calories and getting my *** to the gym 6 days a week (and right now, that's what it means), I'll do it, knowing this kind of intensity is only temporary. What is not temporary is that clean eating and exercise are and will be a part of my life.
Seems like working through some of the mental/emotional issues would also benefit you. I know it did for me! Really think about WHY you want to lose weight, why it matters, why all the hard work is worth it. And write it down somewhere you can see it! There's a great Neitzsche quote that says something to the effect of "when the 'why' is important enough, you can withstand any 'how'." Make sure that 'why' is in the forefront when times get tough.
On a side note, are you really in Nigeria? I lived in Kenya for a bit and I loved the Nigerian movies they'd play on TV! So funny!
Thanks much, I've got emotional issues for sure. Probably part of what's holding me back from breaking free of my dependence on treats. Congrats on your weight loss, it's certainly inspirational. Yes, I'm a Nigerian in nigeria, so glad you enjoyed our movies
Another thing is I look foward to having kids in the near future. I know I'll gain weight during pregnancy, so I wonder why bother now?
Why bother? You know we're taught to think that way about weight and it's really weird logic.
I can't tell you how many times I gave up dieting because I thought, "I'll never reach my goal weight, so why bother?" And I dieted my way to nearly 400 lbs, because I thought "why bother?"
If I would have realized then that every pound counts, I would have told myself "Even if you can't make it all the way to your goal weight, losing and keeping off even one pound is better than gaining 50."
It matters - every single pound. And as long as you remember that every lost pound matters, and every pound not gained matters - Even just "not getting bigger" matters.
If only I had realized this years and years ago. But I do "get it" now. Most days I don't feel confident that I can lose even just one more pound, but I do focus 90% of my energy just on not gaining. Really that's my primary goal. Every day I wake up and don't see a gain, I celebrate. Woohoo, I'm not getting fatter!
Even when I do see a gain, I no longer see it as an excuse to binge, because I don't want to see a gain on the scale the next day - because "not gaining" is the most important thing to me, even more important than losing.
I have to see it this way, because most of my life I saw "not losing" as a huge failure - so much so that it didn't feel any better than actually gaining. To the point that I would say to myself "if I'm not losing, I might as well be gaining," because I really did see both as equally as bad. They're not.
When I chose to see "not gaining" as the thing to celebrate, the main goal in my life, then losing weight was just the cherry on the cake. Bonus! And I learned that it takes almost the same amount of work to just maintain (not gain) as it does to lose, so while I'm working on "not gaining" I might as well aim to lose "just one more" lb.
If not losing seems every bit as bad as gaining, then it becomes really easy to rationalize the gaining. "I'll never be thin, so I might as well get to eat whatever I want, whenever I want." Yeah, that's a smart choice. But it kind of is, if we view one as being as bad as the other. You have to realize that not losing weight very well is still better than gaining weight. Making healthier choices even if you fail a lot is better than not making those choices.
Sucking at weight loss is still a lot better than being great at weight gain. That's why the effort is worth it, even if you never do get to your imagined goal. It's still better to be heading toward it than heading away.
Kap - sometimes you are SO WISE, I think you MUST BE a guru!!!! Thanks for that... I really needed to hear it.
Thanks, I just wish it was easier to access my inner guru for myself sometimes.
I think most of us here have wisdom to share, but accessing it when we need it, is sometimes is a different matter. Knowing it and doing it are often very different things.
I come here to soak up as much wisdom as I can. Whenever someone compliments something I said as wise, I go back and read it and sometimes think "Wow, that is smart, did I really say that? How can someone who messes up so much have such incredible insight? Why can't I always practice what I preach?
Weight loss is just so darned complicated (at least emotionally). I'm doing better than I've ever done before, and yet it still seems that the mistakes far outnumber the success sometimes. I know though that my successes are outnumbering my failures or the scale numbers would be going the wrong way.
It's just so easy to fall into a negative mental trap.
@Kaplods: I keep coming back to re-read your post over n over... it gets me through the 'I-didn't-even-lose-one-pound'-days. I figure i'll eat healthy and exercise, and even if it only keeps me from gainng weight, I'll go with that, it's sooo worth it. Nothing beats not gaining weight! thanks
Wondering where this is going?
, but this is honestly what i'm feeling right now. Will I have to count calories forever until eternity? 
' So when I look at the standards set by my immediate environment, it's hard to single myself out for this journey. 
The answer to your first question about counting calories forever? The answer is probably yes. Of course there are some people that can successfully adopt an intuitive eating lifestyle, but I can tell you that for me, that will probably never happen. I'm all too aware of how severe my food addiction is. That said, there may be a time in your life when you'll be able to take a meal off or a day off from counting...maybe even a week! However, overall, you will need to keep track. But, is that really so bad? To me, it's better than the alternative. I hate that out of control feeling. I find that I don't even enjoy those foods that I want so much when I'm gorging on them with no end in sight! 
I cannot overemphasize how important good diet is to growing a healthy baby inside a healthy mom.
