My husband has informed me that he thinks my goal of 135 at 5'5" age 36 is too low and that I should only go to 150...I have researched TONS and 135 lbs. is nowhere the low end of a healthy weight for me nor is it too high...I feel a bit down about him telling me this and that he doesn't want to hear it if I get crabby etc. during this process...I am changing my life not just going on a diet...have been running since March this year and LOVE it and am trying to make a permanent healthy change in my food habits now to make it come full circle...just feeling sorry for myself I guess that he thinks 135 is too thin...I was actually thinking 120 at one point, but thought I'd start with 135...TIA
I'm 5'8" and my (realistic) goal is 140. If you look at BMI, 150 for someone who is 5'5" is a BMI of 25...which is actually overweight (barely)!!! I think your hubby needs to do some research himself! I'm sure once you lose the weight, he'll see how great you look and change his mind!!
it all depends on your build and how you carry your weight. If you have a small frame, 135 might be fine but on someone with a larger frame, it could be too little.
why not go to 150 and then figure out if you are happy with your weight and go from there. Right now, they are just numbers that don't mean all that much in a vaccum.
I get this all the time from my mother. I'm sure he just wants to protect you. I would do your thing, and keep the details at a minimum. Don't talk about how much you want to lose anymore. Just keep it up! And when he sees how awesome you look, he'll probably think you only weigh 150! Men are sometimes unrealistic about what weight really looks like on women.
Thanks...which is why I joined here on 3FC so that I could have a separate support group who feels my pain ya know? I hardly ever talk about it with him and because this is a lifestyle change for me and not a quick diet I just am doing my thing without telling him every little thing I do...I just think he is being protective like you said but I also think he's a bit crabby that he is NOT jumping on the bandwagon with me ya know? Thanks again for the support
I had the same propblem with my husband he im 5'5'' and have a small build as well. i told my husband that i wanted to go to 140-135 and he fliped he said that i would look like a skeliton and after taking his hand and showing him all the research and i went as far as taking him to a dr. appt with mw and when the dr. told him that for my from i should be about 130 he started to change his mind.sometimes people need to see facts.
I'm 5'8" and my (realistic) goal is 140. If you look at BMI, 150 for someone who is 5'5" is a BMI of 25...which is actually overweight (barely)!!! I think your hubby needs to do some research himself! I'm sure once you lose the weight, he'll see how great you look and change his mind!!
BMI is such crap though. You can be itty bitty at 150, be completely healthy, yet BMI is going to say you're overweight. (Mom was 150, and her size 6 pants were falling off of her because of how compact and muscular she was.) It's all about your measurements. (i.e. Waist measurement is a better indicator of health - and your likelihood of having heart disease - than the BMI.) And every woman carries weight so differently. I just don't think BMI is an indicator of whether or not a weight goal is going to be healthy for every woman who is a certain height.
I think, don't get hung up on the numbers too much. My goal is 150, but if I got to 155 and wore my goal size (8) and felt great about my body, I'd be fine stopping. Maybe you'll get to 140 and find a good place to stop. Maybe you won't feel 100% until you get to 125. If you focus with your husband on getting fit and eating healthy instead of on the number, I'm sure he'll come around as you progress.
I agree with the other commenters that 1) 135 lbs is probably a reasonable goal and 2) see how you feel when you get to 150 lbs (and 135 lbs) and re-evaluate then.
Another important thing to ask though is why your husband is not on-board with your new lifestyle and why he suggested 150 lbs as your stopping point. If you figure out why he feels this way maybe you can help him become more supportive. A few things off the top of my head as possible explanations:
- He really doesn't know much about women and weight.
- He doesn't like how your new food and exercise choices are affecting him and his routine.
- He misses the attention and time that you're now giving over to your new lifestyle and wants it back sooner.
- Are you depriving yourself? Perhaps you are irritable/complaining to him about food or something? You mentioned something about being crabby.
- He may be feeling jealous and that you might get hit on if you get "too hot."
- Your new lifestyle may make him feel guilty about his own poor habits.
I'm not saying any of these are right or logical and I don't mean them as a criticism to you. Even if you don't want to talk with him day-to-day about your diet, figuring out what he's feeling could really benefit your marriage.
Another important thing to ask though is why your husband is not on-board with your new lifestyle and why he suggested 150 lbs as your stopping point. If you figure out why he feels this way maybe you can help him become more supportive. A few things off the top of my head as possible explanations:
- He really doesn't know much about women and weight.
I second this. My god, the number of boyfriends I've had who guessed I weighed 125 when I really weighed 170!
My husband started telling me this weekend that I need to eat more because I'm "starving" myself. I'm eating recommended portion sizes, 1,200 - 1,400 calories a day, yet he sees that as me starving myself. (Well, let's be honest - compared to my eating before, it is! lol) I think that our loved ones just worry about us pushing ourselves too hard, too far. Take it as concern and not as him being non-supportive.
Yeah I've been at 150 and there is no way it's low enough...I have been to 135 and know that it's my ideal weight and I LOVE how I feel at that weight. I have NOT been crabby about my new lifestyle...my job however and PMSing...that is another story I think that he's worried that me not liking my job may make this harder and end up making me a bear to live with...I also think that he is struggling BIG time to want to make the same changes and just can't dedicate himself to it...yet...I want him to though and think that he will soon. We have an AWESOME relationship...been married almost 15 years and together for almost 18 Thanks for all the points of view...really do appreciate them
Ahhh, Christen! I didn't know you had been at that weight before. I'm going blind in my journey because I stayed far, far away from the scales in high school (only know what pant sizes I wore), so I don't know when I ever weighed 150. I don't know what my "happy" weight is yet.
Whaddya Think...is my goal ok/healthy?
I would do your thing, and keep the details at a minimum. Don't talk about how much you want to lose anymore. Just keep it up! And when he sees how awesome you look, he'll probably think you only weigh 150! Men are sometimes unrealistic about what weight really looks like on women.
I think that he's worried that me not liking my job may make this harder and end up making me a bear to live with...I also think that he is struggling BIG time to want to make the same changes and just can't dedicate himself to it...yet...I want him to though and think that he will soon. We have an AWESOME relationship...been married almost 15 years and together for almost 18
Thanks for all the points of view...really do appreciate them