[gmailjunkie]

So I've been having an especially hard time. I binge. I go off plan. I exercise excessively and then I stop and now I've sprained my ankle which will make things complicated for awhile.

But I've also, been going to therapy, religiously, trying OA meetings, praying,working the Beck diet plan, working with a nutritionist and personal trainer and I'm attempting to count every day and while I'm not as far along as I would have been if I had stayed on the plan that I started doing in April I'm still maintaining a 25 pound loss and I've decided that I have to call that success until I have something better to name.

I feel alot of shame because I have SO many resources now that I feel I should be able to be 100% on plan and that it's disgraceful that I don't. I feel alot of guilt because we were middle class until my dad left my ma, and then my mom and I were poor and even homeless (thought not street homeless- Thank the good lord) for awhile and I feel like now that I have a good job, and health insurance and all of this help available to me that I have no excuses and should be doing MUCH better. I feel weak and undeserving.

But I'm continuing to try, I haven't given up yet and I do have SOME results (the 25 pounds) so I have to convince myself that this means success- not perfect by any means and with room for improvement but when I think about this time versus all of the other times this is successful. 1. I actually lost a significant amount of weight and 2. Because I haven't given up yet and before I've given up after much less time than this.

I don't know why I wrote this, but I feel better for having done so...so thanks.

This site is a resource too...and I definitely don't always make the most of it.

[foodmasochist]

i personally think the #1 thing is tenacity-do not give up! You cannot succeed if you don't even try. Maintaining *is* success for your right now! You are absorbing alot of information from all your resources. As long as you don't give up you are a success. the winners in this never give up-they learn, even from failure and KEEP ON GOING! hooray! i am proud of you!

-fm

[Sophronia]

I'm just at the very beginning of my journey, so I have few words of wisdom. But I am so impressed that you have lost 25 POUNDS and kept it off. What an amazing accomplishment. It's not always succeeding instantly and spectacularly that will provide for long-term success, though I know some do it. Most of us, though, slog through every day, fixing one thing at a time, improving, backsliding, but continuing to work. And hopefully - being grateful enough to celebrate the successes, whether scale-related or not. So - yay for sticking with it! It's not about perfection or moving as fast as possible. It's just about moving. And you are.

[Tai]

I think you should give yourself more credit! You have been under a lot of stress along with your mom yet you're still maintaining your loss. It seems like you've found a lot of good resources as well.

Stick around and keep posting so we can encourage you as well!

[mya]

You are doing great, you should really take a moment to be proud of what you've done here. Find something that weights around 25lb and pick it up. It's very heavy and you took it off all by yourself.
That's a 10% body weight loss, and 20% of what you wanted to lose, that means you just have to do it four more times.
There is no perfect, and it took me a while to get that too. I used to do everything just right for a few days or weeks and the very moment I did something I wasn't suposed to, I gave up thinking it was too hard and I could never succeed. The real mistake is giving up. If you just keep going in the right direction, even if you take a step back once in a while (and we all do) you will be where you want to be when the time is right.

[linJber]

I get the impression from your original post that you don't feel like you deserve to succeed. You have struggled in life and have overcome some HUGE challenges. I can't even imagine what it must be like to be homeless. You must believe that you deserve to have the best life you can give yourself.

You say you started in April - even if it was April 1st, you've lost 25 pounds in 3 1/2 months! That's nothing to sneeze at! What a wonderful success that is. Accept it for that and keep on going.

I think you are on the right track with OA and therapy and all the other things you mentioned. You are doing these things because you know you are worth the effort. Please keep that in mind through this process. YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT.

I made a comment in a different thread that I find it easiest when I take thing one decision at a time. Can I eat on plan for this one meal? Sure - it's just one meal! Can I resist the urge to snack while I watch this one TV show? Sure - it's just 30 minutes. Then keep on doing it - over and over. And don't let one bad choice ruin your day - just start over immediately.

It's a bit cliche to say "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels," but after losing 70 pounds, I think there is some truth to it. The more you lose, the better you'll feel and look. Let that carry you along. YOU CAN DO THIS because you are worth the effort and deserve to have a long and healthy life. Choose each and every time to do the healthy thing for yourself because you deserve it.

Lin