[Ivonnely]

Wednesday I will be leaving my fiance to go back to Canada. I came to the states to spend 4 months with him on feburary and it's coming to an end. We got engaged on november 2010 and were planning to marry next year, but now it just seems to be delayed for another year.
He recently graduated and has a under paid job. I have yet to finish my degree and I have to work on that. We met 2 years ago online in a video game and I can honestly say this is the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with.

It's so hard to leave him everytime I come visit. I feel sick even thinking about it. Why can't we be with the ones we love? When I was 200 pounds I never met anyone who love me for who I am. I never even had a boyfriend untill I was playing games online. Every guy I met in real life all had no interest in me because I was fat. I never thought I would meet the one untill now, but I can't even physically hug him.

In the past 2 years we took turns flying to see each other. But i won't be seeing him again untill a year later, A WHOLE YEAR.

With our situation it's going to be a very hard road. We have to apply for k1 fiancé visa to marry, which takes 6 months. Then apply for green card afterward. He can barely support himself and we have to save up money for lawyer fees and marriage. I don't even think I m going to have a wedding because we cant afford it.

I just want to be with him, wake up next to him, and go to bed together. It's so hard to live being apart from the one I love so much. Right now I don't even have the strength to keep going on

[curlysue82]

Oh thats so tough, skype is not the same as a physical hug but at least the eventual result will be marriage and happily ever after, your going to have to try and see some kind of good points if any to get u through..

good luck..hugs

[Cookiebear23]

I'm so sorry to hear that My boyfriend and I lived in different cities for about a year and it was hard enough seeing him every 3 weeks. Are there any cheaper alternatives to flying (e.g. could you take the train or a bus) that would allow you to visit each other?

[dragonlady1978]

If he is done with his schooling and underpaid at his position anyway, could he possibly move to Canada with less red tape than you moving to the states? Even just as a temporary thing, taking a "whatever" job up there just until you finish school?

IMHO the wedding doesn't matter anyway. You can get married without a lawyer or a huge, expensive event. You are just as married with $100 for a license and 15 minute ceremony by a justice of the peace.

I know you are sad right now at the thought of having to be apart, and I don't blame you...but I just wanted to say that you are very fortunate to have found happiness in a partner. That alone is worth going on for The rest can be worked out.

[Chantelle]

*hugs* Oh honey I completely understand where you're coming from and I'm sorry you have to go through all that My hubby and I met playing Everquest almost 11 years ago.. I was 17, he was 19, I was in Singapore and he was in Las Vegas (yucky 16 hr time difference!). I was still in college, he was working front desk at a casino and barely making enough to support himself and it seemed... absolutely, 100% insurmountable that we would even figure out a way for our relationship to work, let alone get married! Ugh I shudder to even think of it lol, this was before Skype and all those awesome low-rate VoIP calls so we weren't even able to talk on the phone very much lest we ran up crazy phonebills we couldn't afford, and didn't see each other for more than a year at a time. I'm so envious you even had the chance to spend 4 months with your fiance, that must have been wonderful!

Fast forward more than a decade later, we've now been married a little over 3 years We had a civil ceremony first because we couldn't afford anything else, then saved towards a more elaborate ceremony on our 1-yr anniversary. Prior to that, I can completely commiserate with the pain of leaving, i would begin crying and being miserable from 2-3 days before we would separate again - pretty crappy given we'd usually only be able to afford to spend 2 weeks at most with each other every year or so! But you know what? It gives you something to look forward to and to work towards, and just *knowing* you have that someone at the other end waiting for you and loving you makes it a little easier to bear. Plus, you have to figure - when you two reach the end of this "waiting game" road, you've already overcome a HUGE obstacle, and all the other little bumps in the road that is a long-term relationship will be tiny and laughable in comparison! You can do this - and it'll be completely worth it in the end! Congratulations on your engagement - just try to remember a year is just a drop in the bucket when it comes to having the rest of your lives to spend together. I know it's hard but time will fly by once you get home and settle back into the swing of everyday life... you'll see each other again soon!

PS. Bleh it's so ironic I was able to overcome all those r'ship obstacles but I can't seem to lose weight.. everytime I reach 210ish I freak out and binge myself back up several pounds. -kicks self- /endrant

[cherrypie]

Originally Posted by dragonlady1978

If he is done with his schooling and underpaid at his position anyway, could he possibly move to Canada with less red tape than you moving to the states? Even just as a temporary thing, taking a "whatever" job up there just until you finish school?

IMHO the wedding doesn't matter anyway. You can get married without a lawyer or a huge, expensive event. You are just as married with $100 for a license and 15 minute ceremony by a justice of the peace.

I know you are sad right now at the thought of having to be apart, and I don't blame you...but I just wanted to say that you are very fortunate to have found happiness in a partner. That alone is worth going on for The rest can be worked out.

every couple I've ever known has found it easier to go to the US and then try to get the other person into canada from there.

[Lovely]

I met my now husband in a video game online We spent a lot of time apart in the beginning, and it was tough! But there are things you can do to make it easier.

-Talk in some small way each day. Doesn't have to be a lot, could be a text, e-mail, a call.

-Tell them about the little things that are happening in your life. So often the little things are overlooked, but when you're not there to see a new shirt or hear a funny story about what happened in line at the bank it can seem lonely.

-Try to do things together. That sounds strange, but you met on a video game, so you could still play some games together or even just be on Skype while doing things online. Be "near" to each other when you can.

-And importantly... HAVE OTHER HOBBIES! Do things that you can lose yourself in and just have fun. If you spend too much time pining you'll just feel down all the time and have nothing of substance to discuss with your SO.

One day at a time. Just like weight loss. =)

[mypinkpolkadot]

I met my boyfriend in a video game as well.

It's hard. It's the hardest thing I have EVER done. He is my world. And all I want is to be with him.. I feel like I'm wasting my life just counting days till I get to see him again.

But I know in the end I rather be with him, and deal with the distance, than be with anyone else.

I actually found out today that our plan for me to move got pushed back (again). I cried. Seeing him every 2-3 months, for 1-4 days, just isn't enough.

Would I trade him for anything? NEVER

Stay strong, that's all you can do. Know he is just as upset about it as you. Trust me I didn't think my boyfriend was until he broke down crying on the phone.

It will be worth it in the end, and like someone already said, you two will make it through anything after this!

[brooksider09]

Right there with you on this one.

My boyfriend and I met in college, and I moved six months ago to take a job more than 1,000 miles away. We're lucky, in that I've gotten to go back and visit him a handful of times in that six months, but every time I leave it's like taking a punch to the stomach.

I know this isn't totally comforting, but if you guys can get through a year of not seeing each other, you can make it through anything. (: