Ok, so I'm a conservative prude. I am! But I have cleavage, it's one of my finer assets, and darn it a lot of really cute tops reveal it. I don't want to wear a cami under all my shirts.
All this week I have broken out of my comfort zone with some new clothes I bought. They flatter the figure and yes, I show a bit of cleavage and I bought a fabulous bra for the job.
But I am terribly uncomfortable, and I really don't think I'm showing more than most women!
But no one's eyes stay up! Actually, that's not true. The eyes of the WOMEN fall to my chest, but the eyes of the men do not. I think men must just be well trained.
Do you think this could be because I'm dressing differently than my usual? I've had a bunch of weight loss comments this week, so the change of wardrobe has definitely made people take notice. But it's making me uncomfortable! How do you ladies deal with this? Shoulders back? Head held high? Or do you walk around with a folder in your arms to cover yourself?
The women in your life are probably just distracted by the new style of dress. Walk with your shoulders back, head high and chest up. Rock that cleavage honey.
I think you are more keenly aware of your cleavage from your own point of view - your peripheral vision can see down your shirt and then if you look down, you can see even more.
But others do not have this POV!
When you look in the mirror and see the cleavage, that is what others see and not down your shirt.
Honestly, if I saw a woman who usually wore more conservative clothing suddenly wearing more revealing tops, I would probably take a glance also. For me, It wouldn't be a sexual or judgmental glance, it would be because I'm noticing something different.
The women in your life are probably just distracted by the new style of dress. Walk with your shoulders back, head high and chest up. Rock that cleavage honey.
Agree, as long as the boobs aren't popping out (in a trashy way), strut what you have and enjoy it. I know I would!
The women are envious of what you have and the guys? They are looking, but they are sneaky. They get it in quick glances when your not looking..
I don't show cleavage unless I am home with my DH. I too am uncomfortable showing it, and just decided I didn't want to deal with it. Now that I am married, I don't want the attention at all unless its from my husband.
Let them stare. They're jealous cause you have a nice rack. LOL. Nothin's wrong with showing a little cleave! As long as you're comfortable & you feel sexy, do your thing! You earned your confidence if you ask me. lol
Be proud of your "girls"! There's no point in buying cute tops if you're going to cover them up.
Since you changed your style and got a well fitted bra, your weight loss and figure is probably more defined.
I tell you, when I got bras that fitted well, it looked like I lost another 20 pounds instantly! I had bought the new bras over a weekend and coworkers I saw on Friday and then Monday thought I'd lost a huge amount of weight over the weekend. Nope. The "girls" are just where they are supposed to be.
I think it's quite natural to feel a little self-conscious though. It will get easier as you get used to it.
DixC's right--you get a different perspective on your own cleavage than the rest of the world (with the possible exception of waiters and hair stylists) gets. You're probably dressed more modestly than you might feel you are.
Anyone who's looking is almost certainly noticing a change in your style, not judging your degree of exposure. Everyone admires an attractive feature on others, so a nice figure with shapely chesticles will draw the occasional admiring glance from both men and women. It's no more sexual than glancing up at someone's pretty curls or off to the side to admire their lovely earrings--it's just that we may perceive it as such or find it uncomfortable because it's a "bathing suit area."
I love mine inordinately and although I don't wear too many overtly cleavage-y outfits (they're big so a little cleavage goes a long way), I always dress with the "girls" in mind. The Boob Fairy was kind to me and I don't see the need to hide that fact with boxy shirts and high necklines.
Since I've been losing my body shape has changed, and for me, for some strange reason, that means bigger boobs. I'm loving it. My breasts were always very lopsided (almost a cup size difference), this has evened them out quite a bit. One is still a bit bigger but they're closer than they ever have been. I find myself drawn to the tops I couldn't fill out before, and I'm loving it. My fiance loves it too. It does take some getting used to, with more positive attention from others. I was out last week with a friend, and we were heading into the mall. I was wearing nice fitted dress pants, a v neck sweater (and my leather jacket unzipped), and I got checked out. Mind you, it was by a guy in his 50s, but it still counts.
Can you post a picture of a dress or top with a neckline that is similar to what you're currently wearing?
My idea of a low neckline & too much cleavage showing is likely different from someone else's. Community standards, you know.
I can't provide any insight into your female coworkers, except to say this: I get an obvious once-over at the office from women more than from men. (Men are socialized.) And a once-over from women has a definite path, which includes but isn't limited to my neckline. (It's not because mine is often low. I got it the other day while wearing a plain, not particularly fitted black boat-neck sweater, because I had on an Indian squash blossom necklace.) It's a sizing up of the competition, almost. Well, a "reading." Women know how other women talk with their clothing & appearance. They are familiar with the language. So women will check face, hair, neckline, body, legs, shoes. Practically in order. Like they're sergeants at drill going down a list. It's very visible. Men tend to look first at what's attracted them first, then go in, ah, other directions. But IMHO, it's sidelong & a very discreet flick of the eyes, unless they're disinhibited by surroundings, alcohol, pack behavior, or an unmistakable indication of interest from the female in question.
ETA: Congratulations, BTW, on rediscovering your breasts. I seem to do this when I get a serious crush on someone & I think he's also interested. I start looking at myself & trying to simulate a male gaze. What would a guy see if he looked at me? And I start thinking less about fashion than about my physical appeal. So who's the lucky guy?
i personally dont like showing cleavage of any kind to anyone except my fiancee and thats personally because i want people to admire my face and not my chest...besides..there are MANY shirts out there that dont show cleavage but are tight enough to show off assets and capture attention.. In your case, women are probably staring because its a NEW you that they havent seen before and men? Men stare..you might not notice it..but they do and they will..just like women stare at men but were good at keeping it hush hush.
Yeah, whenever I step up my style I guess you could say, I feel awkward for a little while. For me it takes a week or two to warm up to my new threads. I almost feel like I'm trying too hard. It'll go away though. I just walk with my head high and remind myself that this is ME, it's just a new and improved version of me. Inside I'm thinking "Please stop looking at me pleeeease stop looking at me" but I don't let my face show it.
If you got it Eliana, flaunt it. That's what I think.
Cleavage and confidence
