I have fallen off the wagon big time. I'm taking all the stress and anxiety from my life and stuffing it in my mouth. A lot of the stress is nothing I can change right now, and I can't stand it.
I have found myself over eating at every meal for the past few days. I can't help but feel like I have to eat NOW and enjoy eating whatever I want NOW because later is going to be more difficult. I should explain... Last Thursday my husband got the opportunity to voluntarily separate from the military, and after talking about it, we have decided to do so. Our fear is basically that he is going to be kicked out anyway, and it's better to go out on his own terms. We've known for a few months now that he is "on the chopping block" so to speak. Unfortunately, this means that we'll probably be cutting his paycheck by half when he is able to find another job. We have begun saving money, shutting off extra expenses like cable, no more eating out or drinking alcohol. If we stick strictly to our budget and get his separation pay, we should be ok for a few months after separation if he isn't able to get a job. We've also discussed me getting a job if he can't to have some money coming in. That's a big deal to him. Like his dad, he ties a lot of his personal worth with "providing" and understandably, this is hard on him too. We've gotten along surprisingly well despite all this stress. He's given up drinking, and we've been relying on and supporting each other more. However, I can't get a grip on myself.
What are some tips tricks or advice? I don't want to let this cause even more stress when the weight comes piling back on. I've already gained approximately 5lbs in the past week.
Hi Pint Sized, sounds like you are talking about just what a marriage is. Working together as a couple during the tough times in life. First I would suggest just take it a day at a time. I understand stress and eating and have done that plenty in my life. My hubby has not worked since May of 2010 and I work full time. Even though I have a good job rent his high where we live and we are on what I like to call "famine spending" needs only. No going out, no booze we even have to decide where we drive and how far. His EI ran out in Dec so it has been since then on this famine spending. What I am learning is I really need a lot less then I thought I did. We have cut back at the grocery store big time and sometimes dinner is herbed roasted potatoes with a bit of olive oil and a bit of cheese on top. It is cheap, real food and doesnt hurt. We don't eat like that every night and allow ourselves one treat every so often and usually that is ice cream when it is on sale, not that i need that but hubby likes it.
It has been a process of accepting where we are right now and knowing it wont' always be this way and getting along as a couple thru the tough times. It is a real tough lesson in marriage and really shows you where your marriage is at. You can grow so much from this and both you and hubby have to choose how you will respond to this.
As for the stress eating..... I havent' always won obvioulsy but there are days I want to just stuff my face but really what I am doing is putting off dealing with the stress and it takes our focus off our problems and puts them back on ourselves and then once we have gained the weight the other issue is still there and will rise up again for us to deal with. I often just do some deep breathing, go for a walk , say a little prayer or meditate and that can help.
I am sorry for your tough situation, hugs to you!
I don't know how you feel about this, but when times have been tough, I've also been at my leanest. The hardest part has been figuring out not to eat when I have the money and the means to do it!
But maybe you need to focus on not seeing the resigning/layoff as a negative thing for your diet plan, but rather as an opportunity to eat less and lose weight. Instead of thinking you can't have this lovely chocolate sundae next week because you won't have the money, maybe this is the time to be researching for healthy and cheap recipes that you can make at home (especially if you're not working yet).
Cooking at home can be so much cheaper and so much healthier and even taste better than the stuff you can find at a restaurant or in the store.
Even as you save money for that once a month treat (or however often you do it) you'll enjoy it more because you're not eating it every day. You might even surprise yourself later and realize you don't like that food item/meal as much as you thought you did because you're making better tasting food at home.
Good luck. Stress eating is something I also battle with which is why I like to turn situations around so I look at the positive rather than the negative. I hope my ideas help.
I'm not sure what to suggest but it sounds like you just want to control something in your life, in a situation where you have to give up a lot of things you enjoy.
I really hope things work out for you. If anything, keep reaching out for support from others and don't hide your feelings. Talking it out may be what you need.
Try, just for now, eating healthier and then, once a week (or once every 2 weeks), allow yourself to have some comfort food (or an off-day). That could be just enough to reduce some stress without you having to change everything all at once. I also suggest taking walks when you're feeling stressed out, if you have time. Meditation/quiet time for 15 minutes or yoga at home may help as well and could diffuse some stress.
I'm sorry Pint Sized my daughter and her husband went through that last summer after he had been in for twelve years. They had a lot of anxiety and I would say a grieving process. Financially he is doing very well now.
Last edited by kittycarlson; 03-09-2011 at 10:00 AM.
You need to find other outlets for your anxiety and emotions. I was doing the same thing - I started gobbling up food to stuff down my anxiety and the only thing it was getting me was an added 10 lbs. I went to the Dr. about my anxiety. I have been exercising more lately. And I have taken up cross stitching - it is something I can do in the evenings while watching TV that doesn't take up a lot of room.
What could you to other than eat to relieve anxiety? Talk a walk with your hubby? Do some stretching? Sip hot tea?
Lately I have been more focused on trying to separate emotions from food more so than trying to lose weight. It has been very helpful for me.
This is one of many tests throughout life of how we rise up to the challenge of getting through hard times.
My only suggestion is to take a deep breath and challenge yourself into getting creative about your budget. When I was living on a shoestring, I made mostly soups and stews and made my own bread. I bought large bags of rice, beans and lentils and flour. I used a sourdough starter instead of yeast in my breads. I flavoured the soups with meat and soup bones. I kept a large container of oatmeal in the cupboard. Those were my staples and my family never went hungry. Any extra money can go for fresh foods and meats. Start looking at alternative local resources for food, such as a co-op. Find out if your utility companies have a budget plan. Have stuff that could sell? Put on a creative thinking hat!
If you are not working, consider taking in a child that needs daycare. Bringing in even $50-$75 a week can make all the difference while your husband is job hunting.
How do you just GET A GRIP?!?
