It was so sad. She was interviewing women who were about 500 pounds or around there and they were women who are married to men who want them to be bigger. Tyra calls these men "feeders".. They feed there women to make them fatter and fatter because they find it sexy..but these women say they feel so unhealthy and unhappy but they wont lose weight because they are afraid there husband will leave them..AND these guys like..have sex with there wives and feed there wives doughnuts and chocolate and cake while having sex because they think its HOT...and im just like..oh my gosh..this is so sad..its sad for the women because they feel unhealthy and uncomfortable and sad but they love there husbands..and these guys..these husbands..have such an unhealthy view of there wives and how they want it bigger and better. I have nothing against guys who find women who are full figured, attractive..i just have a problem with a guy who thinks its right to push food on a person when they feel uncomfortable..
I saw that one before- it's not only sad it's disgusting. These men are selfish IMO but their wives are ridiculous for allowing it. If they have kids is the man prepared to raise them alone because those women won't live much longer, and I'm sure it'll also raise the kids with the worst habit ever (that is if the woman is even able to HAVE children).
If my husband WANTED me to be fat and was pushing foods on me in the way these men are I think I'd have to go. As much as I love him I don't want to die young.
I've heard of the phenomenon and it's appalling to me that anyone would actually want a partner to become (or remain) unhealthy or uncomfortable because it's what he/she finds sexy. That goes for people who want their spouses to become/remain scary-skinny or get plastic surgery, too, though; those things happen more often than "feeders," I suspect, but because the resulting health issues aren't as noticeable as weighing 500 pounds, Tyra isn't going to do a show about that.
Google "Jocelyn Wildenstein" if you want to see an example of someone who tried to keep a man by getting plastic surgery to look "pretty" for him. (By the way, it didn't work and he divorced her anyway.)
It's not like finding a fat body sexy is inherently weird and I wish people would see that and quit acting like "Ohmahgawwwwwd, he wants to have sex with his FAT wife, eww gross!" The weird part isn't that some people like big people. It isn't even that some people bring food into their bedroom activities--they did it in "9 1/2 Weeks" but no one got all squicked out because Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke were thin and attractive at the time.
If you're making your spouse miserable or sick for your own gratification, you're pretty much a monster. THAT is the weird part. Whether you do it via feeding, withholding food, pushing plastic surgery, causing pain without consent, or forcing certain acts is immaterial.
I can only imagine, though, how tough it must be to lose weight when you literally have someone wanting to cram food in your mouth. It would take a great deal of strength to say, "I can't move around well and I'm uncomfortable, so this stops now." I have to think that having a husband like that leave you isn't a tragedy, it's freedom.
i have to admit, being in a position where having a person shoving food down my throat would be hard to say no to..i used to be the binger and cupcakes all the time sounded good..now of course, it doesnt..but still, how do you lose weight when you have someone saying "oh baby your so sexy and oh how i love your fat chubby tummy"...like, wouldnt you feel more attractive to have that kind of flattery??? vs.. oh my gosh your so fat, lose weight you pig?? Cause the flattery would feel great for my self-esteem..instead of being beaten up for my size.
I think I've been very lucky, because my sense of self-esteem and my sense of how sexy I am aren't tied very closely to my weight. If my husband (or, back in the day when I had them, any of my boyfriends) wanted to compliment my big soft thighs or my thick calves or big booty, I was totally fine with it. I was also totally fine with it when they complimented me on my little bitty waist or scooped me up to carry me off when I weighed in the 120s. I just loved men and loved it when they loved me; their size or my size weren't much of an issue.
Weight loss has always been for ME, not to please a guy or guys in general, so I sure as **** wouldn't gain weight for one. That isn't to say I didn't indulge in my fair share of other "notice-me" behaviors to win male attention, but changing around my body wasn't one of them. I'd wear a low-cut sweater, but I wouldn't monkey around with what was under the sweater just for approval.
So it's hard for me to understand, maybe, how a person could get so into earning another person's approval or sexual interest that she drastically changes her body. It's her body, not her partner's; she shouldn't have to mold it to fit a partner's ideal. It IS disturbing, but not just because of the "feeders'" behavior; the "feedees" are also in need of some counseling if they're allowing themselves to be made miserable.
I would knock any guy who told me to "lose weight, you pig" right the **** out of my life. That's cruel and hateful. By definition, cruel and hateful people don't like you, so why would you ever allow one near you? I've never been treated so harshly by anyone who professed to love me. I hope no one has told you that; if he has, knock his block off (metaphorically speaking) and remind him who owns your body--it isn't him.
I have heard about (and googled, out of morbid curiosity) the feeder/eater deal. Although, from what I've seen, the eaters seem to be willing partners. As much as the feeders are turned on by feeding, the eaters are turned on by being fed. It's pretty twisted, yes, but at least consensual and both partners are into it.
However, what you described is absolutely heartbreaking and cruel. Those poor poor women! Logically, it's easy for us to say "Just take care of yourself and leave the pervy SOB, duh!" But it's so much harder for them to actually do this. Outsiders on situations like this have no concept of the pain and struggle and inner turmoil the victims go through. I bet these women go back in forth in their heads a million times a day "I should just tell him I won't eat anymore...no, he'll leave me...then I'll just leave him...but where would I go? Nobody else will love me" and so on and so forth. They know it's unhealthy and wrong, but they truly honestly feel that they have no other option. Think how confused and broken these women must be.
I have immense respect for victims of ANY kind of abuse when they can find the strength to take care of themselves and get out of the situation. But I'm also completely aware how doing such is so hard even if it seems so obvious and easy to outsiders. I have nothing but the deepest of sympathy and empathy for abuse victims, and that includes these poor women. I hope they can muster any strength that they have left and do what's right for themselves.
My SIL have discussed this topic a few times and both feel it's abusive. Just like any other sort of abuse I'm sure these women are afraid to leave, afraid to say no, etc. You have to manipulate a human being and tear them down in order to treat them in this manner.
Oh my gosh! Anyone watched the Tyra show today?
I have nothing against guys who find women who are full figured, attractive..i just have a problem with a guy who thinks its right to push food on a person when they feel uncomfortable..
