[RosieGirl]

Hello everyone!
I stumbled upon this site while looking for some help from the internet. I am a 19 year old girl who has been struggling with her weight since she was 5 years old. Every since I was a child I've had a negative view on my body due to my mother's negative view on her own body.

I've never been taught how to properly eat. I finally realized how unhealthy I was when I went through medical weight loss program. I lost almost 20 pounds and was 180 and a size fourteen in pants. I felt awesome like that. I loved being that way.

But then suddenly my biggest supporter died from cancer. She was my riding mentor for horse back riding. In two years after her death my weight sky rocketed to almost 250lb!!! I am not proud of my recent gain. I am horrified by it. But I'm still stuck. I feel as if I am in freeze mode. I don't know what to do. I don't have the money to go back onto medical weight loss. I'm hoping that this site could motivate me again, help me unfreeze myself.

My hobbies are horse back riding, drawing, writing and reading. As you can see out of that list I only have one athletic ability.

Thank you for reading this and I hope that I become a part of this community working towards a common goal.

[Shrinking Charlotte]

Hi RosieGirl,

Although my story is not quite the same, I do understand growing up with a mother who was very weight conscious and passed her beliefs on that unless you were "skinny" you were not attractive or good enough. Let's face it....that was her perception of herself but she passed that on to her girls. I've forgiven her long ago because as an adult I had to take responsibility for my own actions. Eating was just a way of trying to prove that I could be "me" regardless of what I weighed.

I am a newbie to this forum too but certainly not to weight loss. I've been through it all to include gastric bypass surgery which I did 10 years ago at the weight of 268 pounds. I lost almost 100 pounds with that surgery and it was well worth it. Even though I've gained some weight back from that, I still feel very fortunate to be thinner than I was. I am currently about 222, I think.

I say 222 because I can't really weigh myself right now. A few months ago, I fell and broke my leg. The break is so bad that I am wheelchair bound for upwards of a year. Saying that, I figure it's both a good time and a bad time to attempt to lose more weight. Can't exercise so much, but also can't get in the car and get awful stuff to put in my belly! I'm going the Weight Watchers route.

I look forward to chatting with you more. You have been through some difficult times it seems but believe me human perseverance is stronger than you may imagine. Best of luck to you, RosieGirl. Stay on the forum.

[RosieGirl]

Shrinking Charlotte,

I have confronted my mother since then. She was always saying she was fat or that she needed to be on a diet. And for some reason I absorbed that and found myself eating to comfort and not realizing what it was doing to me. Since then I have recently confronted my mom. Kind of a step into losing weight. She accepts what has happened and we both talked it out. She was aware of what she was saying but did not know it had a great affect on me. I can no longer blame my mother for my weight because I have forgiven her. I do understand completely the " Eating was just a way of trying to prove that I could be "me"" Now that I think about it I was doing that as a child.

My mother is completely against me getting any type of surgery no matter what. I applaud those who do go through it since it is probably a frightening process.

I am so sorry to hear about your broken leg. That is really hard to deal with with you're trying to lose weight. Though you are in a wheel chair you can still exercise, lifting arms weights.

I've also heard that keeping a food journal is good for weight loss. You become more aware of what you are eating and make changes gradually. I'm currently starting one hoping that I will become more aware.

Best of luck to you too!! Thank you for the welcome.

[Tamsin78]

Dear RosieGirl:

Although I am old enough to be your grandmom I can understand all of your issues. You've had a very stressful time and then lost your good friend and mentor. I come from a family where for some reason, only the women on my Mom's dad's side had sluggish metabolisms. My Dad's family were all normal and so were the folk on my Mom's mother side, so it was either through her Meme or Meme's husband, who died before Mom was born. I think it was Meme side 'cos Mom says she was a big woman.

Aside from that, Mom was thin until she had me but then began a life of yo-yo dieting. She didn't know any better and this is what she taught us. she'd cut back to a 1200 calorie diet of mostly veggies until she lost the weight and she'd do it all over again. She didn't realize that exercise is NECESSARY! So I understand the whole negative body image thing. It took me until I was in my early 40s to accept me-don't wait THAT long! Horseback riding is excellent exercise, keep it up. We have a lot in common-I love to read and I write-I wouldn't say that I am a horse back rider, but I used to do it for fun when I was in my twenties.

I suggest this: go to the local library and find a recent book on nutrition. If you do some reading you will find out what you should be eating ( a rainbow of colors) and the amounts of the kinds of foods that you should be eating. Plus the book should explain exercise, etc. Most Americans eat way too much protein, for example. I found myself very low in a vitamin that I thought that I was getting plenty of when I wrote my research paper in a class last year! And NEVER eat less than 1200 calories a day, unless you are a super tiny girl! There are several great tools on the 'net that offer free calculators where you can put in your weight, age, and what you want to weigh, and it tells you what your max daily calories are. about every 10 pounds down you need to out another 50 calories. If you don't start out with enough calories you'll stop losing at some point, that's why we need to use the calculator.

It is best not to be tempted by having problem foods around, but sometimes we can't help it. If you have a variety of vegetables to supplement your food you can make your meals super-appetizing! I also substitute hummus (in the fresh vegetable or deli section) for cheese on sandwiches. It can be eaten as a dip or spread like a condiment.

There are lots of forums on this site of different kinds. Try to set mini-goals in the beginning, like 10 or 20 pounds. Mine was 20 pounds and I am halfway there! Liking yourself is one of the greatest things in life. Start that journey today! We are here if you need us. Best wishes.

[patchworkpenguin]

Welcome, Glad to have you join us. My advice is to look for a Support group, Chat, or Challange to join; small groups make it easier to get connected. Most sub-forums have groups covering almost every need, find one that inspires or motivates you and just post to join.