Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss Including discussions about excess skin and reconstructive surgery

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Old 01-21-2011, 02:44 PM   #1  
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Thumbs down Body Image affecting intimacy??

I was just wondering if any other ladies are having a problem with body image and being intimate in your relationships before, during or after weight loss. I feel like I'm always hiding under the covers and I just want to be comfortable in my own skin, even though my significant other assures me that I'm desirable, sexy, etc.. I still feel really uncomfortable bearing it all. My tummy is my biggest issure, I donated my kidney to my sister a few years back and ever since it just hasn't looked the same. I know I should be proud, I call them my "battle scars" but I just can't get over how different my tummy looks. Do any of you ladies have any advice on how to overcome this or have you experienced something similar yourselves?
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Old 01-21-2011, 02:49 PM   #2  
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Well, my husband has been with me from when we got together, when I was about 145lbs to my heaviest at 302lbs, and now on my way back down. I feel so much better about myself now that I've lost weight, and can actually MOVE easier...it makes a difference. Maybe it is different for me because I went much higher weight wise that you are starting out. There were times when I was up in pounds that I felt a little more insecure, but had to trust that he loved me no matter what (and he does!) so that helped a lot.
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Old 01-21-2011, 03:29 PM   #3  
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While I can't fully relate to you, I kind of know what you mean.
I've actually never had a boyfriend, I mean I am only 20 but I kinda wish I'd put myself out there more. I've always been very insecure because of the way I looked and even though I always seemed outgoing to people, I was very shy on the inside and I push male attention away.
Now that I've hit goal, I'm a lot happier with my body and self and I feel more confident. Despite this I still feel like shrinking away and becoming invisible whenever I feel male eyes on me.
Being this shy about guys in everyday life, I dont know what I'm going to do when an intimate situation arises.

My good friend did tell me once, if a guy is with you and showing interest then you have absolutely no reason to be insecure. If he didnt like you then he wouldnt be with you.
^Easier said then done right? lol
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Old 01-21-2011, 04:22 PM   #4  
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I have a 13 inch surgical scar on my stomach so I will always have an odd looking indentation (under clothes sometimes shapewear like spanx can help if I want to hide it under a tighter, thin fabric). That scar saved my life. With guys, they really, really don't care. If I didn't volunteer information about it they wouldn't even notice, and when I did guys think it's neat. Sometimes I joke around and say I got in a knife fight. But seriously, you are extremely brave and generous to donate a kidney to a loved one and you should be damn proud of that.
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Old 01-21-2011, 04:31 PM   #5  
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vixxi - I completely understand your insecruities when it comes to being intimate. The lights are always off ... Always trying to cover yourself up... This is me to a tee.

As I have lost weight I have become better but I still find it hard to be open to intimacy. I am hoping that as I lose more things will become easier.

It's weird for me though because I don't have a problem actually being naked in front of me fiance, as in getting ready to shower, getting changed etc... it's just when we are "doing the deed". Strange, I know but it's all in my head.

Kudos to you for being so brave and kind in donating a kidney, that's is an amazing and loving gesture.

Respect yo hehe

Last edited by L R K; 01-21-2011 at 04:32 PM.
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Old 01-21-2011, 06:35 PM   #6  
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You have to remember your husband finds you beautiful- when you are intimate he's not worried about a scar or anything, he's focused on being with you- try to focus on HIM during these times- the sooner you forget about those things and just focus on him and enjoying yourself you'll be fine.
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Old 01-24-2011, 11:13 PM   #7  
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My boyfriend actually worries about me losing too much weight cuz he fears he wont find me as attractive when im skinny (silly him thinks ill lose my curves lol).

But here's my best advice, get comfortable being naked by yourself first. thats how i became comfortable with being naked around my bf. first i would spend lots of time being naked when i'm alone. like, when im cleaning my room, or folding my laundry, ill just be sitting in my bra and underwear. and slowly, it starts to feel normal. and then, it won't feel as awkward when there is someone else around.
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