So yesterday I went down to the living room to where my mom and Step-dad where relaxing and watching television. I greeted them (they had gotten back from breakfast while I had been in the shower) and the very first thing out of my Step-dad's mouth was "Look hunny the kid's chunking up again!". Needless to say I was stunned, but quickly that wore off as he proceeded to push the subject of my weight saying things like "look at that belly" and "Are you sure you're not pregnant?". I smacked him with the comic section of the newspaper, but it was really frustrating.
I'm a college student, home for the month, and I come back to things like my Step-dad's big mouth. I've lost 20 pounds since this summer, and my pants are all god-awful baggy, yet I still get mouth from a 54 year old fat man about MY WEIGHT. Gah!
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this?
i guess it depends what type of relationship you have with him. if it was my father i could say to him joking "well dad have you checked the size of your belly?"
I feel that is very rude and uncalled comments from your stepfather. Maybe you just need to say straight how that hes being rude and you dont want to hear his rude comments
I had issues with my stepdad growing up as well. Seriously, I would tell him if he doesn't have anything nice to say then to shut the F up. What did your mom say? You're not a child and you can stick up for yourself, but I would expect my mother to tell her husband to back off and leave her daughter alone. What a jackwipe.
My mom just played it off as him acting weird all morning. Then she had some helpful advice for my acne. At that point I was fed up with the both of them (even though I know my mom was just trying to be helpful). I went back up to my bedroom to hide out for a while. The things they say just make me really self conscious about my appearance.
That's terrible!! I second asking what your mom is doing about this - if you were my daughter you can bet I'd have a word or two (or three) with him. Maybe you could talk to your mom about how much it bothers you and she can talk to him for you. Some people are just clueless of how hurtful words can be. In any event, congrats on the 20 pounds, you're doing awesome!!!!
Welcome to my entire life. Never, not once has my father complimented me. I've lived with being told I was fat all my life and looking back, I wasn't all that huge but my mother was a rail so I was always compared to her. I finally blew my stack and he hasn't said a negative word since. He did recently tell me he was proud of me for losing all the weight I've lost and didn't add "how much more do you have to lose" like he normally would.
You have to say something or it will never get better.
I figure that he'll die in the next few years cause of all his health problems (that stem from his weight). I swear it just gets annoying when I come home. That's why I love college,I can do whatever I want, and I don't have to listen to input from my parents lol.
I am so sorry that is happening and I am way NOT okay with that--from a Mom standpoint and from the point of a woman that has struggled with my weight and self-esteem my whole life. My thought is that perhaps he is actually so uncomfortable with his own appearance, your weightloss or new lifestyle is making him uncomfortable in his own skin.
What I can encourage you to do is to keep your eye FIXED on YOUR goal. hBeing fit, being healthy and looking your greatest is what YOU deserve. Let nothing and NO ONE come between you and your goal--certainly no foul mouthed stepdad.
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 01-10-2011 at 01:13 PM.
My dad used to give me a hard time until I called him on his rudeness. I don't think it is just a step dad thing. I think some dads just don't know how to cope when their daughters become women.
And call both parents on it if it happens again. Sometimes parents give college students a hard time because they don't know how to be with you. You aren't a kid, but you aren't exactly an independent adult either. You this weird in between stage. If they can't figure you for adult yet, def don't do kid stuff like swatting him with comics and give them reason to pull the ol' "she's just a kid!" dismissal of you and your feelings.
If it happens again, say
"Dad, I find it creepy and insulting that you make comments about your daughter's body and sex life like that. And Mom don't excuse his behaviour as just being weird all morning. It is not weird. It is rude. Shouldn't you BOTH be out punching out guys who talk fresh to me like that? Gross."
If they tell you you are "too sensitive" or "can't take a joke" say
"Yup. I didn't care for it. There isn't anything funny about rude. Tell me a joke, I'll probably laugh. Make creepy rude comments, I'll tell you it is creepy rude."
I grew up the smallest in a very obese family. BECAUSE I was the smallest when I started getting a little chunky (10 or so, puberty age) I got called little fat girl. So I became hugely aware of my body and had a very poor body image. Now I look back at myself and think... ?????? I was FINE! Cute, adorable! (So modest ) It's your Step Dad's issue. He straight sucks. Id have to get $hitty with him. Wouldnt be able to control myself.
THAT SUCKS! I would hate to go home if I heard things like that. SHame on both of them. (as a woman, I lay more responisibility on the woman who marries a man who treats her daughter this way.)
As an adult, people treat you how you let them treat you. Next time don't let either of them get away with it without calling them on it. Their bahavior is disgusting and they deserve to have that brought to their attention, either in a calm adult way or a snarky "how does that feel" way. Whichever gets the point across best with your family dynamics.
astrophe had a great script to follow.
YOU are doing fantastic! If it continues after you have called them on it just brush it off and keep remembering that is just how they are, who they are, and that is it.
I'd pack up my stuff and head back to school to hang for the remainder of break. You don't need to be around negativity like that. Also let them know you'll be happy to come back for a visit when he gets an attitude adjustment.
My dad kept telling me I was getting fat. One day I threw something at the kitchen wall and went to my room to cry. He never said another word. Not that I advocate throwing things...
They say kids say the darnest things...
) It's your Step Dad's issue. He straight sucks. Id have to get $hitty with him. Wouldnt be able to control myself. 
