[mandagrl1]

Good to meet all of you! This is my first time joining a weight loss board. I've posted a little more about me in the intro forum. I am a night binger. I wake in the middle of the night and eat, eat, eat then go back to sleep. Sometimes I'm concious of doing it, but still can't reason to go back to bed, and sometimes I don't remember doing it until the next day.

I just talked to my mom about the behavior this year and she said my dad also did that and my brother does it now too. My brother is 5 years younger than I am and is a healthy weight. My mom says she'll get up at 4am and find him in the kitchen with food wrappers all over the counter just staring and eating. He only remembers after the fact, so he's very strict with his diet during the day when he can control it.

I've tried Rx appetite supressants, but those honestly only worked briefly and really only worked during the day. The amphetamines in them probably disturbed my sleep more than anything! I do take medicine to help me fall and stay asleep, but I still randomly (not rhyme or reason for it) wake up and eat.

Just this year I've come to terms with it being an eating disorder. I lead a small group at my church for ladies to work out at the Y and my small group coach is also a dietician. I told her about it and it turns out that she'd also binged in her childhood and early adult years before being treated and changing her life. So, for support I do see her regularly in or out of her office to monitor the binges. I also tell my husband and either/or sister and best friend about them too. They're all very good to get me talking about how I was feeling before I went to bed, etc. to try and head them off in the future.

I haven't read many threads in here, but I thought it seemed like a good place for me to start out. I look forward to getting to know you all!

[Dreamchild]

Nice to meet you! I just joined this forum too and have to say that your honesty in your first post is inspiring. I'm a closet binge-eater. No way do I eat the food that makes me fat in front of people. It's a stressful self-perpetuating cycle that makes me feel, i dunno, almost creepy. It's a dark secret that shows up in the daylight in the form of ME. I need to talk about it, and so here I begin...

[martinimouse]

welcome to the board!

Dreamchild, I am also a closet eater, have been for over 30 years. Even though I have lost more than half of what I want to lose, I still struggle with it when the circumstances are right - like being alone with food. I am not mentioning this to be discouraging, but to let you know that it is very common and very difficult to change. I have actually mastered for the most part most of my binge behaviors, but the urge continues to raise it's beasty head and I have to deal with it. I am incorporating meditation and mindful eating techniques to help myself through this BEFORE I get to my goal weight. For the first time in my life, I understand that this beast doesn't just go away because I lost weight. Looking forwards to seeing both your successes this year!

[imperialistic]

Good to meet you. I also have this incredible love-hate relationship with food. It takes a lot to be able to just say no. But you've come to the right place. You'll find tons of support here that'll help you "kick the habit"

[GabrielleEmersyn]

welcome

[LolaCrane]

It's a struggle to actually understand why some of us binge as we do. I've read and read on the subject, and have yet to find myself in anything that's written by the so-called experts. I tend to believe that rather than eating for "comfort" I eat to "punish" myself. I must, right - because I feel so wretched afterwards. If I was providing myself "comfort", the food would surely make me feel better? Instead I feel weak, and dark and out of control, worse - I feel that I seem that way to other people. I can only equate it to drug or alcohol addiction. A true illness - overeating. I've tried to apply addictive behavior remedies - one day a time thinking. I like the idea of small goals - five pounds at a time! And I do believe I've finally kicked the habit of giving in to "failure". Meaning, that if I do slipslide, I don't let it be the END! Tomorrow's always another day, and getting back on the horse is now my habit, thankthepowers. I don't know if there's any way to ever know why those of us who overeat do so. I was abused as a child by a funny Uncle who always gave me a piece of chocolate when he was through with me. It was comforting, the chocolate - but there was always a creepiness associated with it. I've often wondered whether this was the root of my eating disorder, and whether or not it might be something others have experienced. I once read that many overweight young girls might overeat in order to become unattractive and repel would-be abusers. It sounds very simplistic, but - who really knows. This is the first time I've ever said this out loud to anyone other than my therapist. So - hey - it's out there! Happily, I no longer crave chocolate!