[dissonance]

Hi there! I'm quite glad I found this forum, I need all the support i can get, that's for sure.

I'm 27, and my life...well its been a mess for some time. I've been struggling w/my weight for a looooong time. For the better part of my 20's (up until I was 26 actually) I maintained a pretty low weight...by being pretty much consumed by a lot of pretty unhealthy behaviors. I've struggled w/depression/anxiety/ and well its rather hard to say this considering my weight now... but various eating disorders. Ladelah, no need to get into all that.

Fast forward to about this time last year. I was bouncing between places to live, and had a pretty bleak future. I decided to try to join the military, but was to underweight (oh the irony). What started off as a well, I'll gain a bit, turned into rampant alcoholism, and just insane binge eating. I had stopped purging and really just replaced it with pretty extreme compulsive over eating. I put on 95 pounds in well, i can't even admit how quickly. It sure didn't even take close to a year.

Then I delved back into old habits, lost over half, just to gain most of it back.
Lovely.

So here i go again. I'm back in school (doing pre-req's, aiming to enter a nursing program this fall. doing well in school last semester was about the only positive!) but i have allowed myself to become a recluse (even taking a leave from work, b/c I have trouble facing anyone since I regained so much weight. Yeah, pretty terrible). I'm ashamed and disgusted with myself. I don't want to live this way, and I don't want to live the rest of my life in a war w/myself either. I'm hoping to find a way back to a healthy balance- not opposite extremes.

Whew, over-share! But I just wanted to be honest somewhere and really make an effort to get things back on track.
(also re-drinking. very, very newly sober. that's another battle in itself)

So here I go, hopefully for the last time and very hopefully managing to get to the weight I am aiming for, healthily, and to maintain.

[lazydaisy]

Wow, you've gone from one extreme to the other. Dealing with mental health issues is tough. I also suffer from anxiety and just could not cope without medication. I feel like a normal person now, no more obsessive worrying. I hope you can find a comfortable in-between state where you can find contentment. Good luck with the weight loss and school (that's awesome!).

[dissonance]

Thanks lazydaisy!

[srmb60]

Welcome!
Our moods are so intertwined with our weight and health! Here's a good place for you to read.
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/depr...ght-issues-76/
It's nice to know that we are not alone.

[dissonance]

Thanks srmb60, sounds like that's where I need to be!