Obviously I am new here so I guess I have to tell some stuff about me. I'm a 32 year old mom of three genius, drop dead gorgeous girls and I'm F-A-T. ): I didn't always used to be this way. I used to be a tiny petite thing, even after my first daughter. Second came along and I had a little chunk to me but it wasn't anything I couldn't work with. Third daughter came along and I wasn't just a chunk but a bag of chips and everything that comes along with it. I don't blame them, I blame me. I knew that gestational diabetes along with laziness and being used to eating what I wanted without gaining weight would eventually cause me to be fat and unhealthy, I think it wasn't going to happen for a long time though. So in '07 I got on the lose weight bandwagon when I just wanted to lose a good 25-30. Of course I failed miserably. I had no motivation and I was being lazy about it, I was kinda hoping MY fairy godmother would show up and with a swift wave of her wand it would all just disappear and I'd be ready to get back to the beach in a two piece. So here it is, the end of '10 and I now need to lose 50 whopping pounds to be into my target weight. I am now type 2 diabetic which I take a daily pill for but doesn't seem to be working. I can't wear shoes with heels anymore and here lately I can't even wear shoes that tie so I've been kickin' my 12 year old's Miley Cyrus slip ons.
Forget me being me naked around my husband, even in the dark. I loathe taking pictures, I actually get sick to my stomach when a camera is around and when I do have a picture taken of me I make them do it over and over and over until I am satisfied that I look just OK, forget that everyone else in the picture is now asleep or left or to tired to smile now. I'm not lazy about anything but losing weight. I do clean house, I do cook for the family, I get out of the house and I even park far away so I have to walk a bit. But when it comes to exercise and eating better I have such a hard time. It's amazing how after so many years I still haven't trained myself to think like I'm not some skinny mini anymore and I have to be careful about certain things. I'm not looking for my high school weight, I'm trying to be realistic and 100 pounds isn't for real, not for me anyway. I just want to wear those super cute shoes in the window. Or buy a bathing suit at a store that has sizes less than XXL. Or be able to wear something I don't have to just settle for the next time we renew our vows. Also, I would like to be rid of gluco-whatever it's called and pricking my fingers and I want to be the cute mom and not the fat mom. I want to go have pictures of me taken in skimpy lingerie for my husband's eyes only as a gift to him.
I just want to look good and to feel good doing it. Here's to hoping!
Who is this woman and how did I end up in her body?!
