I've been thinking about this a lot lately. This question is more aimed at people who have lost a lot of weight. Do you feel like you have changed mentally and emotionally since or while you were losing weight?
Did you have to cut out people from your life that just weren't positive or good for your progression? Did you feel more confident in your decisions and do you ever feel like you have accomplished more then you think you could have in the beginning?
I appreciate any honest input. I guess the reason I ask this question is that I feel like I am changing as a person. I will not put up with negative or ignorant people (not that I did before). Perhaps my goals are becoming more in focus, and I just feel like I am changing. I can't quite put my finger on it yet.
I'm in the process of evaluating my life, my wants and needs! I am not willing to settle any longer! I have a degree but no idea what I want to do with it. I live with my molester and his wife, namely my parents but come January I'm out of here!
I am not yet a "Big loser" but I feel like I am well on my way, and honestly I feel so different this time around. I have no idea what it is, I hate to steal a line from sparkpeoplebut I feel the need to steal it...I feel like there has been a spark lit in me.
If I am less tolerant of anything, it is the negative automatic thoughts that creep in sometimes. I turn every. single. one of them, on their head now. I feel for the first time like I am doing this for me, and *I* deserve to be treated like an amazing person.
I do have people in my life who treat me great, but it's my mom who I want it from, but I know now I won't get it, and if I want to have that kind of feeling, that little someone in my head that is cheering me on, it's got to be me. Even when it's other people? It's GOT to be me. I mean come on, my poor bf can cheer me on until his voice is hoarse, but if I don't have that little voice in my head, my own voice, if I don't BELIEVE 100% in myself that I can do this, I mean anyone else believing in me won't get me across the finish line. It is all on me.
So, *IF* (not when!) I start to slip...who is going to PM me this little speech!?
I'm done with the negativity.. I've lost some friends over it, but they were nothing but bad influences that probably weren't really my friends to begin with.
I agree with the above posters, something is different this time for me as well
"The Last Time" I lost a lot of weight (106 by end 2004), I thought I'd done the headstuff on the way down but a lot of the time I felt a fraud ~ it was ok with people who'd known me before but when I met new people, I felt like I was lying to them, pretending to be a thin person when I was really a fat person, just in disguise.
Sadly, I didn't have time to work through that much before I regained 89lbs!
This time I'm trying to sort out my head as I go but we'll see.
I didn't/don't have an enormous circle of friends and I didn't cut anybody when I'd lost a lot; I do remember being on holiday right at my lowest weight and rejoicing, no other word for it, rejoicing at being able to slip between tables in a cafe without bumping tables and chairs with my big apple belly. And I remember, just the once, getting slightly tipsy (it doesn't take much, 1 large glass of wine will do it), again with a kind of joy - I think drunk people are fairly tedious anyway but a drunk, fat me would have been repulsive.
So it was a complex mental and emotional cocktail!
I've lost 135 lbs, and while I am still plump, I think can say that I am a changed person. Just changing my eating habits so fundamentally is becoming a new person--I mean, what we eat is a big part of who we are: there's a reason why ethnic cuisines are pervasive, and don't just all melt together. I used to be a cheeseburger and fries gal: now I am a grilled chicken breast or bowl of soup person. That's a sea change all by itself.
I've changed in how I relate to people. I used to feel like I had to compensate for being fat by proving I wasn't lazy or stupid. Now I feel more comfortable letting my actions speak for themselves. I used to shy away from athletic, healthy people because I felt like my very existence was an attack on their values--clearly, I didn't care about things that were very important to them--and now I don't.
I've changed my inner monologue. I used to think about being fat ALL THE TIME. I was always aware of my size, and how much I hated it--it was like a low hum in the back of my mind. Every bite of food I ate, I felt guilty. Every interaction I had with others, I felt embarrassed. Every item of clothing I pulled on, I felt regret. That monologue disappearing is also a fundamental change.
I have not had to cut anyone negative from my life, but I have always been blessed with a good circle of friends and family.
I may think of others later. It might be shorter to talk about what hasn't changed!
My biggest and possibly only change has been in my self-confidence which rubs off in all areas of my life. So others probably think I have changed a lot because I'm sure I've changed in the way I interact with other people. But I have always been that person, I just didn't let others see it.
No, I have not had to cut anyone out of my life. I have some I'd like to cut out! LOL! But those I'd like to cut out can't be, so there you go.
I think cutting toxic people and things from your life is a wonderful thing to do at any time during life and I don't see it related to weight myself.
I'm still kind of early, I've lost about 60 pounds and still have 30+ to go, but I already feel changes. My confidence has increased A LOT. I no longer shy away when I feel I have something to add, even in the past if my contribution were positive (which it is most of the time) I wouldn't say it because I felt like it wouldn't be received very well...I feel now I know what I have to say has value. I was so aware of the perception (well at least I think it was there) that fat people are lazy and stupid. The stupid thing really bothered me! I won't say it's even close to gone entirely, as I've said I still have a lot of weight to lose and it's obvious I need to, but I'm starting to feel so much more normal, I guess. In terms of negativity from other people, I am very blessed with my circle of family and friends, and things have gone well. The only possible issue with this is that one of my friends, who I have shared my weight struggles with (and who has not lost weight), has kind of cut me out. I think it's been really hard for her to see a big change in me, especially over a short period of time when we've been obese for such a long time. Anyways just another part of the journey I guess - fixing your head space is so important and I think I've just started to scratch the surface of it.
This was a huge emotional journey for me. I guess the best way I can describe it is that I now finally feel like my outsides match the way I feel on the inside. I always tried to tell myself that I was the cute, fun and quirky chubby girl. I felt like I always had to be super funny to make up for my fat. But my fat was hiding who I really was. I'm now just the cute, fun and quirky girl. Have I changed? In some ways, yes. Am I more outspoken? No, I have always been a frank and honest person. It did take it's toll on some of my friendships sadly. I've tried to make some new friends but it doesn't seem to be working.
I am no longer that miserable, underutilized, incapable person.
I am no longer afraid to speak my mind. I became stronger in my convictions.
I used to stand there talking to someone and as they were doing so, I was always wondering if they were thinking, "why is she so fat?, why is she so fat?".
I am friendlier. I always though that I compensated for my weight my being extra friendly. Ha. What a joke that was. I am friendlier to bank tellers, sales help, strangers. I have made MUCH stronger friendships with people who I used to only be acquaintances with.
I am a better, mother, daughter, sister, neighbor, wife, friend, citizen. I help people constantly. Strangers. On public transportation, in stores, on the street. I do volunteer work now, in the past I was physically incapable of it.
I used to be an anxiety ridden person. Every thing was made so much more difficult because of the weight - haircuts, social functions, school events, you name it. The weight is gone. The fear and dread of fitting into seats, and what to wear and how I look is gone. The anxiety is gone, the worries are gone. This can't help but change how you deal with every one and every thing.
Doing what's been expected of me (taking care of the body G-D) has given me, has given me the self respect that I lacked. That changes you. I always felt that I was falling short, that I was lacking, that I wasn't doing what was required of me. And that feels awful. There's always something, something - missing. And that piece of the puzzle has been filled. Gaining my own self respect was a biggie.
There has not been one area of my life that has not seen great improvement. Not a one. I've stepped out of the fat suit and left behind the weight that I was dragging around and dragging me down.
I'm still me - only better. Lots better, (and smarter and happier, with less worries and more joy in my life). I'm who I was meant to be.
I've only lost 30 lbs and I feel like I've changed. I think I've become more confident. I was talking with my husband the other day and he told me that I've definitely "come out of my shell" the last couple months since I've started losing weight. Funny thing is, at work on Thursday, the ladies were telling me the same thing! I guess I'm just more out there now that I've lost weight!
Also, I find myself actually wanting to go to the gym. If you told me that I'd actually want to go to the gym 3 months ago, I would have said yeah right! People always talk about getting a high from working out and being happier and using it for stress relief and whatnot. These past couple of weeks I've actually wanted to go to the gym. My husband was sick and couldn't make it a couple of days and I actually forced myself to go. On top of that I've started feeling good after I work out.
I have absolutely changed. I feel reborn. I do not think or feel the same way about food, life, other people anymore.
I have stopped tolerating abusive treatment or words. I stand up for myself and I am stronger in every way.
I have not cut anyone out of my life, but my heavier 'friends' have cut me out of THEIR lives because, as one person told me "You are getting too skinny and it makes me feel bad." That makes me sad.
There is a part of me that is the same, though. I still get hurt and even cry when someone makes a fat joke or comment. It still feel directed at me, even if they don't even know I was ever obese. But yes, I speak up and tell them to knock it off.
I'm not sure if 'changed' is the right word for it, I feel like a different person. My life 150 lbs ago is a lot different than my life now. Even though I've been at my current weight for about 3 years, I still don't always recognize myself. It is a completely different world.
I've almost lost 100 pounds since end of April and I'm starting to feel different. People were always giving me second glances or right out staring because I was so heavy. I'm still very overweight and need to lose 80-100 more pounds, but I don't feel horrible in public anymore. People don't stare. I feel more confident. I don't feel embarrassed. I feel younger, happier.
To me, nearly every day is amazing: After years of walking around feeling socially unacceptable, I suddenly feel as if I fit in, as if I am unexceptional, and that I am no longer being dismissed or devalued by some people, even before I open my mouth to say a word. I'm average. I fit the norms. I am inoffensive.
So much of my life was built around overcompensating strategies. I had to be smarter, funnier, more interesting, more polite, and particularly, cleaner, better-dressed. I was always doing everything I could to set myself apart from the stereotype of a fat, dumb slob.
There is some residual anxiety. Like I'm "passing." Like I might be unmasked at any moment, particularly at a meal, if I have to eat something in front of these people who think I'm an average woman who's never had a weight problem or food issues.
There's a lot of girlie stuff that I need to catch up on. A woman who's confident in her attractiveness & sexuality has a different way of relating to the world & it shows in all her interactions & even in her physical movements. I am still learning how to mimic those behaviors. Sometimes I feel like a parody of a woman because I may be overdoing it a little.
I have not broken with anyone over these changes, but there are some relationships that have receded more into the background, and I've made new friends, too. I had a lot of thin, healthy & fairly athletic friends (one was a personal trainer, one studied dance & yoga, another is an avid skier) so it was more like me finally catching up with them, and them turning to embrace me anew: "Here you are! You're really, really WITH US now!"
Do you feel like a changed person?
