Ugh...I think I have finally realized that as weird as it sounds, a major trigger for me is feeling too full. I haven't quite connected the dots as to WHY this would trigger me to eat even more, but apparently it does. I repeated the cycle from last week again last night - but I have at least come clean with DH about my unfortunate habit.
Not sure why I'm posting other than to confess. I feel I need accountability from those who understand. This is more than a lack of willpower, isn't it? Of course, I do all the typical self-loathing afterwards, but this morning, I woke up (still feeling ill, mind you) and have simply been repeating the following in my head:
"I will respect my body. I am a respectful person, and I will treat myself with respect."
It fuelled my run this morning, which I had to keep short because of time. It was kind of hilarious in my head this morning, though. The "devil" kept yelling at me like a boot camp trainer: "This is what you get for eating so much food. If you want to gorge on cr@p, you have to RUN. Go faster or you'll get fat." Blah blah blah...
Then the "angel" would shut him up & repeat the "respect" mantra above. At some point, I think I actually started to laugh. It was ridiculous.
Anyway, perhaps I'm crazy afterall. Maybe I'd better keep this between 3FC & me!!
Thanks for letting me dump this out. I wish EVERYONE a day full of self-respect. Treat yourself with the same kindness you bestow on others. If you don't take care of yourself, who will? YOU are important - not because of anything you do, but just because you are.
It is so sad what I do to myself week after week. I go on my plan so good during the week, just to fall of the wagon again and again during the weekend.
Every Friday I tell myself I’ll have control this time, but deeply not even I believe in that BS I am trying to tell myself.
Why is it so difficult to just eat until we are not more hungry? Why do we keep stuffing ourselves with cr@p until a point it hurts?
I came to a point where my life is just thinking of food and I have those fights between “good” and “bad” inside my head all day long, 24/7.
I am so sick of it. Even though I fight every day against the “evil” food, I feel like I am totally powerless.
I am just thankful I have 3FC, so I can at least put it all out of my chest.
God help us all!
I can totally relate, I keep eating & eating even though I'm full, the feeling of being full actually makes me want even more. I don't like the way it feels to be stuffed to the point of feeling sick though. About 3 weeks ago, I did it again, this time I got really sick all night. Night sweats, heartburn, etc. I passed out on the bathroom floor that night. I don't ever want to feel that way again, I didn't do it since! I learned my lesson!
I can totally relate, I keep eating & eating even though I'm full, the feeling of being full actually makes me want even more. I don't like the way it feels to be stuffed to the point of feeling sick though. About 3 weeks ago, I did it again, this time I got really sick all night. Night sweats, heartburn, etc. I passed out on the bathroom floor that night. I don't ever want to feel that way again, I didn't do it since! I learned my lesson!
Well, maybe there is hope for me, then. I have been SICK all day long. Tough to be at work & running down the hall every 15-20 minutes. My only consolation is that perhaps it is out of my system now & I can move forward with more positive thinking.
I'm working hard at keeping the devil off my shoulder today. He's definitely knocking, but so far, angels are winning!!
I will respect myself... (repeat as often as necessary until we DO IT!)
I do the same thing - it's terrible. I can't bake anything with out eating so much I have a sugar hangover for 2 days. I hate thinking about food. :-( I think I am off controling myself when I'm food deprived than full.
I have been doing the same thing lately. I don't understand why I can't get this under control. I will do so well for days, sometimes even weeks at a time, then something clicks and I lose it again. I eat and eat, knowing I am not hungry and that no matter how much I eat or what I eat it won't satisfy me. I'd lost 12 lbs and 13 inches back in Aug-September. I've put almost all of the weight back on and feel horrible again. I am tired of the cycle.
Good for you for creating this mantra & working hard at breaking the cycle.
Exercise is not punishment or a form of doing penance for previously overeating. It's something you do to make yourself stronger & to burn off some of that tension & maybe even stop thinking & just glory in & be thankful for the power of your body for a brief instant.
I'll be thinking of you today.
When any part of the continuous loop of bingeing & then self-castigation & depression gets broken, or resisted, even for a little while, you are making progress.
Fell off (again) - and it's starting to hurt
Thank you!
