This is my first post on this site and I could have written a combination of all these posts. I wish I knew what to do that would work. I am feeling a combination of all sorts of emotions. I am angry and frustrated and very very sad and disappointed...and really embarassed about myself.
What happens to me is I do alright on a low carb / higher fat for a while. Sometimes I really muster up enough motivation and strength to go a few weeks and really start losing. Then I sabotage it because something gets into me and nags me and makes me crazy til I eat eat eat...bad bad stuff. Then I say ok tomorrow I'll do better and most of the time it never gets better, the weight comes back on, and the whole horrible cycle starts again.
And I eat crazy amounts of food all the time. I've tried appetite suppressants to try to get through it; sometimes it works but mostly I still am looking for something to eat next.
Last night after dinner I ate 2 banana sandwiches, a glass of milk, some almonds, a bag of popcorn, diet coke, and I'm sure something I'm forgetting. If my husband had any idea I'd be .. completely embarassed. He thinks I'm doing well on my diet and Im hiding it all.
oh sweetie... i have been there... big hugs to you!!! know that you are not alone!!! i am sure lots of other ladies will tell you the same thing: i could have written this myself!!! i struggle, daily, to keep it all "in control" ...
try not to beat yourself up too much... take a deep breath and find the courage to make it one minute, one hour, then one day... and grow ... you can do this... we are here to listen and help!
Unfortunately most people with BED will HIDE thier binges from everyone. I know I'm one of them and have always hidden them since I was a little girl. I feel the same way you do, if my husband knew about my binges I would be so embarrassed, or if he caught me mid binge He knows about my BED, but since I still hide it from him if I do binge he doesn't really know, you know? Its all about progress.. defeating one urge to binge is a success. So just take it one at a time. You can do it. But it won't be an easy or smooth road. (((HUGS))
What do you do when you feel like raiding the cabinets? I don't keep junk food at home. I mean all I could eat were banana sandwiches and popcorn because I don't buy cookies etc. I have three small children and I don't allow them to eat junk food hardly at all. We're pretty social so they get enough bad food at other people's houses. I don't want them to grow up with abnormal desires for bad foods all the time. So I keep fruits and good stuff in the house. But I'm creative.
Yesterday I made some egg drop soup and 2 pitchers of sugar free juice to try to keep my belly popping full so I wouldn't binge. But...by the end of the night I just couldn't control it anymore.
You are absolutely not alone. I've always hidden my little trips to the wild side, which is pretty funny since everyone can see the extra weight. I'm not really hiding anything.
I've been successful eating Atkins and walking every evening after dinner. Now I'm moving up my walking time to about 6 p.m. because it's getting dark so early. I think I'm able to walk off some of the stress that creates those urges to binge. I don't always want to, but my dog loves her walks, so I do it anyway.
I used to crochet or do cross-stitch to keep my hands busy when I'm watching television or feeling anxious. Anything that keeps your hands busy might work for you, too.
Order a copy of Confessions of a Carb Queen...the lies you tell others / the lies you tell yourself...a memoir by Susan Blech and read it. You'll be fascinated. For some reason, reading this book made a "click" in my head, and along with Atkins way of eating, the urge to binge is just gone. I re-read it from time to time to remind myself why I don't binge anymore.
I hope we help, and I wish you every success. It's there for the taking.
You are not alone. I do fine all day but at night -for me it is not about pysical hunger. I know the science behind it (release of seratonin and dopamine in the brain.) Some people find it in illegal drugs and alcohol - mine is sugar, simple carbs. Sometimes I wonder if I had a sponser - like in AA- who you could talk you off the ledge, any time of day, if that would work. I think I'll try coming on this site.
You're right about seratonin and dopamine release in our brains. For the record, exercise, even walking a few blocks, stimulates the release of those "feel goods" in our brains...hence, the runner's "high." I'm not about to run anywhere, but walking does make me feel better.
Today is the first day of what I am really going to try to be a new start forever. I know how many times I've said that. But I am trying to muster up enough strength to again gain control.
I feel what is different this time is that I'm reaching out for support instead of trying to do it alone.
I made my plan and I hope it's reasonable so I don't set myself up for failure and aggravate my desire to binge. I'll post that on a separate post.
Thank you all for listening and giving me some courage.
Today was the first day I haven't binged in about 2 weeks straight! I don't know why I was going through that, but I think it was all mental! I think I was so frustrated with myself that I was just giving up!
Here is a thought... maybe it won't work for you, but it was how I made it through yesterday without binging.
I am like you and I typically do well on a lower carb diet because of appetite control. However, my carb cravings become so intense I can't make it through the day! I know they say this will pass, but for me it triggers carb binges! I can see that is what your preference is too.
So, yesterday I decided I was going to count calories and try to eat low sugar. I made sure I got a little protein with every carb I ate.
It worked wonders! I felt stable blood sugar and no desire to binge. I just made sure not to eat a really high carb meal. I woke up and I had already lost a pound from yesterday. I was so surprised. Just an idea, but maybe it would be easier to "wean" yourself off of carbs and just keep an eye on calories.
I did feel a little hungry yesterday, but I decided a little hunger is tolerable. I too have a very large appetite and can easily eat 3000 calories a day!
I think I am afraid of hunger for some reason. If you allow yourself to feel it just a little I noticed it isn't that big of a deal.
Hope you find something that works for you. Just remember you are in control even if it feels like you aren't!
The story of my life
