Letting Go For Just A Second
While I finally got rid of the two pounds that'd been plaguing me since TOM, I also found myself going a little nuts, just a sign of information overload. I don't want to be someone who's weight loss defines them and I know I don't have huge compulsive overeating problems: I eat because it tastes good, only rarely do I eat my feelings.
Anyway, I went to meet a friend for lunch today, my first meal out with another person since starting this journey 4 weeks ago. This place didn't have a website so I couldn't compulsively plan, which was a godsend given how crazy and neurotic I have been feeling. I ended up getting a pulled pork sandwich with fries. I discarded most of the bread from the sandwich and skipped the mayo (I hate mayo and have always hated it). I ate slowly and deliberately and focused on the conversation.
The food was good. The french fries weren't mind blowing, but they were okay. But you know what? It was fine. I walked home sated and happy. I will work out later. I'll have a healthy dinner. I'm not hungry or guilty. I'm not obsessing about my next meal or snack. I didn't automatically gain 15 pounds on the way home. I'm not a bad person or a glutton for wanting to eat something heavy. It is what it is.
I should probably just post this on my blog, but I wanted to post it here for anyone else feeling crazy and neurotic...weight loss can do that. If you just let something go and just BE, maybe it'll help redefine what you want.
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