Hi everyone. I usually lurk. In fact I have lurked on and off on this site for years. I have a lot of weight to lose. Its beyond depressing. Its now putting my health in danger. I did two years ago lose a lot of weight. But still since I have so much to lose only got down to 270-280. Nothing sticks with me.
I feel like I have a food addiction. I feel so frustrated and stressed when I just can't have what I want to eat! Don't I sound like a spoiled brat? But that is honestly how I feel. I know its majorly tied to emotional eating.
But the cost? Food is not worth worrying everyday that I may have a heart attack. Its not worth every day all the pain I feel in my joints doing basic daily living! Its so ridiculous!
But still, I am all talk, no action. I never carry through. I never thought I would go over 220. Then I never thought I would go past 280. And I never thought I would go past 300. But here I am. What is it going to take?
How do you just do it? I feel so discouraged because I lost almost 100 pounds. And I gained all of it back practically in 2009. In a way then I almost had to lose weight due to major life changes and stress. Really didn't eat as much at all.
To be honest with you I am scared. How bad is this going to go? Till I am dead?
-Can't do much exercise because it hurts so bad. I can't even do a walk at home tape for more than 10 minutes straight.
-Stay on plan with food for maybe 5 days max and not really fully on plan. Because I will have something that will blow my calories for the day. Because towards the end of the day I feel just tired and hungry. So I end up messing up thinking oh tomorrow I will hop back on plan. As many of your can guess, it never happens.
So any advice suggestions would help. How do you do it? How to make it stick? Especially since I gained it back. How can you continue every single day to chose to eat the right thing? When all you want is the nasty food? When life is a huge mess?
I am really worried. I have never felt like I do now. I seriously just see myself getting bigger and bigger and bigger. My knees hurt more and more. I also feel angry that I am doing this to myself! That is a fact. I am choosing to put myself through his ****. All because the bad food taste good. That is insanity!
I wanted to put this in the general weight loss forum because no matter how overweight I figured a lot of you would understand the whole talking about it and not doing anything about it at some time or another. Its like never following through. Constant fails. And how do you break it? And really do it? Not gain every pound back. But really, really do it. Take a hold of your life?
Again thanks you guys. So thankful for this place. Keeps me wanting to try again and a little more hopeful.
I completely understand. I gained 100 lbs gorging myself each night just 'one last time' because I would 'start tomorrow'. Well, tomorrow never came--but the extra weight did. Now here I sit at 273 lbs.
The hardest part is STARTING. Ugh, it sucks so bad. I've been eating a week straight on plan and even so early in I can't imagine hitting up one of the fast food joints that I used to visit so frequently just a week ago. Once you get STARTED, the rest is almost cake. (no pun intended, haha). I didn't have some surreal epiphany or revelation that FINALLY got my *** to get going with weight loss.
Just last monday I said to myself that I was going to go to the grocery store and get some fruit for breakfast instead of my regular bacon, egg and cheese biscuit and fries from Bojangles.
It wasn't anything as grandiose as "I'm GOING TO CHANGE MY WHOLE LIFE FOREVER!!!" Just "I think I'll have some fruit this morning". And there it was. I had grapes and a banana. And since I'd done so well for breakfast, I didn't want to 'screw it up' (although it wouldn't have been the end of the world). So I had a lean cuisine and a yogurt for lunch. Same for dinner. and here I am a week later and have not strayed from my plan.
Just start. Go get some fruit the night before for breakfast so you can't use not wanting to go to the store as an excuse. It'll be right there. All you have to do is eat it. HTH.
i'm hearing you tell yourself you 'can't' because...
that happens to us all, and gets me in trouble. we can find every excuse in the world. its bs. flat out.
make a commitment, find a way to be accountable. have a person/people you can tell yes you did or no you didnt. this isnt the time to be buddies with the nicest person on the forum. they need to call you on it. help you stop the neg. self talk.
we just have to choose to do it. be healthy. move more.
focus on CAN.
U CAN move for 10 min.
do that 3 times a day, thats 30 min.
focus on the small goals.
drinking water.
stopping when you're full.
make a list of what you CAN do!
then make goals, moving extra 5 mins.
drinking 1 extra cup of water/tea. use a resistance band or household objects. you CAN build muscle too.
I totally agree with onherweighdown (awesome username btw!). I myself gained almost 100 lbs eating fast food and junk. I, too, started diets 100+ times and it never stuck. I finally realized that I was overwhelming myself with thoughts of having to change my entire life overnight. The fact is, that's usually not the case. You hear of people hitting rock bottom and having 1 life-changing moment. I never had that, as I'm sure not a lot of people have. I was always waiting for that though, and that's why I never truly committed. Taking small steps initially is a good plan. Like what was mentioned earlier, try replacing one bad thing you eat with one good thing. More than likely, just doing that will give you motivation for the rest of the day.
Also, I had to realize that it's not all or nothing. If I splurge and have a double cheeseburger for dinner, my diet isn't "blown"...it's not over. I just have to continue on the next day eating healthy. I think patience is definitely a virtue in weight loss. I was expecting to change my life and lose 3-4 lbs a week until goal. Well, that's not really that realistic. I had to realize that some weeks I'll see a good loss, others I won't. Eventually, it will come off if I stick to my plans. Also, be prepared. Buy healthy foods and plan out what you're going to eat BEFORE you eat it. No impulsive decisions on what's for lunch. Writing everything down helps a LOT as well.
Good luck with everything. I know it's frustrating when you've tried so many times before. I had almost accepted that I would always be overweight. But now I've lost 25 lbs! It IS possible...if I can do it I KNOW you can too!!
It is a vicious cycle. But you have got to START someplace. Don't "wait till Monday" or "I've already blown it for today, I'll start tomorrow" because tomorrow will NEVER COME. START NOW. You can start right away by making small changes. And it has got to be a lifestyle change or the weight will return. It's so much easier gaining than losing, we all know that
But you have to make up your mind to take control of your food instead of your food controlling you.
I could go and on about all the foods I LOVE and WANT, but I have to redirect my brain to the things that will get and KEEP me healthy. I also have arthritic knees, but I know that by moving them, I am helping them. I work on my feet all day. But every day after work, I walk at least 2 miles. Do my feet and knees hurt? YES! -but not always AND they are getting stronger. I started just walking a mile at my own pace. The key word here is START. Start now. Don't wait. One more day of waiting is one less day for you to have a healthy life.
Also, plan out what you are going to eat. And when I am at the grocery store, I don't even go down the "NO NO" aisles. You know the ones I am referring to: chips, candies, breads, sodas, ect. If I don't have it in my face, I won't be tempted to get any. Which leaves the fruit, veggies, meats, dairy, ect.
Hugs and support on your journey
Judy
Last edited by islandchick1; 10-10-2010 at 08:26 PM.
This is my second time down to about the 270-ish mark. In 2006, I went from 309 to here and regained. This time, I started at 334. I'm at a completely different place mentally than I was last time. I'm willing to let myself fall apart emotionally, meltdown...and then pick myself back up.
No emotional eating after a particularly good or bad day. I've put on my big girl panties and chosen to simply deal with it.
Only you can decide when you're ready to stop making an effort and actually *do* it. I hope it doesn't take you as long as it took me.
It start's with a start.
If you have problems starting fully on plan, make your plan more realistic for yourself, you will feel better about meeting an easier plan than failing to reach a harder plan. You will identify yourself as a plan meeter than a failure. Then each week make it harder.
I don't walk down the 'no,no isles' either.
I write a shopping list, and that is what I buy, the only things I buy 'because they are on special' - are hair conditioners, toilet paper, cat food and strawberries. It does mean when I want to binge... I have to binge on chick peas of carrotts which means I'm teaching myself that i can get through a binge craving without actually binging.
Thank you all so much. I agree with everything. I just need to do it.
I for sure see myself feeling all or nothing. Or it all has to be done now! Its like I just get discouraged at the time etc. And then it all becomes SO overwhelming. Then eating right just flies out the window. Sick of that cycle!
There is a wonderful thread going on over at the 100 lb club forum (which I think you should definitely come on over to). This was my response. The link follows to the thread, PLEASE take a look at it.
Quote:
Does it ever get better? Is there anyone out there who went through stuff like this and eventually got to a point where it didn't happen anymore? Or am I doomed to repeat this stupid cycle?
For me it got better the stricter I was. Sorry. But I think people give in waaay too easily. Sometimes you've just got to suck it up, regardless of the circumstances and work past the discomfort. No matter what. No. matter. what. Because each and every time you let something in (instead of pushing through it), you don't allow the good habits to get established and worse - you keep re-enforcing the bad ones. So you are always struggling and white knuckling it. So it seems like a vicious cycle. BAck and forth. Back and forth.
So for me, banning many foods (basically the *white* stuff) , setting boundaries and limits, making definite no's, making things black and white, no gray, learning to tell myself no, not giving in, not giving in, not giving in - that's when things became, dare I say - easy.
And without a doubt planning ahead is key. "Failing to plan IS planning to fail". Know where each and every meal and snack is coming from. You can't wing this. Eating well won't happen on it's own. Plan, plan and than plan some more. Much easier to stay on plan when you've got one. Set yourself up for success.
Stick to your plan. Stick to your plan. Stick to your plan. Stop giving yourself permission to veer, because again, I believe that's what makes it so difficult. You can't let anything stand in your way - not comments or lack of them, not having a good weigh in, having a bad weigh in, not stress, not boredom, loneliness, anger, rain, sleet, snow, parties, holidays, weekends, Tuesdays, what have you. Make yourself a sensible plan, tweaking as need be, eat delicious yet healthy foods, always be prepared. Embrace this healthy life style. Stop thinking its' some awful, uncomfortable way to live, when the awful uncomfortable way to live is remaining obese. Become passionate about it. Find the joy in it. It's nothing to fear and loathe. It's a delightful way to live. Push yourself. Give it 150%. Push. Reach. Stretch. Strive. Grow. Prosper. Amaze yourself!
I'll just add at this point, that losing lots of weight and keeping it off is a very doable thing. We are all capable of it. We all have that ability. The hardest part is the start and those first few weeks as you get into it. And you must realize that there will be some uncomfortable moments. But they're no where as uncomfortable as being super morbidly obese, obese or even overweight.
You must decide how you want to live your life. Being enslaved by food or being energized by it. Eating well is no prison sentence. None whatsoever. Remaining overweight is. Eating well is a key to freedom that will unlock many doors, more than you can possibly imagine, even ones you didn't realize were closed.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 10-11-2010 at 05:27 AM.
Don't start next week or next month or next year when you've gained another 100 lbs. Make a plan and do it NOW.
At this point I'm very restrictive with my diet. I'm stressed and busy and I don't have time to BS around. I eat pretty much the same things every day and at this point I don't really care. It's gotten to the point where this matters more than food. If that makes any sense. Food is great, sometimes it tastes really good... but it's not the only enjoyable part of my life. I'm willing to make sacrifices in that area for things I want more. If that means I never pop off plan. FINE. If that means sometimes I drink water and watch my friends eat cake. FINE. I won't die if I can't do these things... but I might die if I remain obese. Excuses don't matter. They're just excuses. Focus on the things you CAN DO.
Today... I played on the playground with my kids. I went down the slides I swung on the swings... I RAN and it felt good. I'd trade all the sugar and flour and arbitrary good feelings that food brought for that anyday!!! Eating will not solve your problems. Taking control will .
Thanks for those amazing posts. Being at the beginning of this, it's great to read inspirational things from people who have managed it!
I just wanted to add this: From reading through the forum, I think I've learned one thing - everyone is different. Everyone needs to find their own way of doing this. Some people stay very strictly on plan. Some allow themselves to indulge now and then. Some count calories, others scrap all carbs.
Find what works for you. If you feel you can't do it alone, it's okay to ask for help. If you feel it's really an addiction, there are therapies to help you deal with it. Attend an OA (Overeaters Anonymous) meeting nearby and see if that's for you. I have a friend who lost 55 pounds by going to the Duke Center for a couple months. Get a nutritionist to put together a plan for you if you feel you can't make good choices by yourself. Join Weight Watchers.
There are lots and lots of possibilities out there. But in the end, it's always up to YOU to make a conscious decision to get healthy. There's just no way around it. You are in control. And you can do it .
Start moving. If it's 10 minutes a day, that's fine. Start with that, you'll build up.
For staying on plan for eating, I find it SO much more helpful if I plan my food the day before, down to what time I can eat each meal/snack. It helps to be able to think to myself, "I'm hungry, but I can eat x in 15 minutes" or whatever, and if I'm feeling hungry before that I drink water. I don't keep the tempting stuff in my house. If I don't have it, it won't be there for me to binge on.
Good luck. You can do it! Just take it one day at a time.
To be honest with you I am scared. How bad is this going to go? Till I am dead?
Maybe. Thousands of obese people eat themselves to death every year. I hope you are not one of them.
You asked how do we do it, how do we get going? For me personally, I knew that if I didn't do it I'd be dead in a few years. I was in a sinking ship and miserable. The grim reaper was standing at my door. I just decided that life was worth giving it one more shot. I wanted to live...no, not just breath and take up space, but LIVE life like it was intended. I was ready. I forced myself to eat heathy day after day after day after day. No magic, no trumpets, no choir, just sticking to it because I am worth being healthy, just like every other person in the world who is living healthy.
I don't deserve cupcakes and ice cream, I deserve to be healthy.
I'll take it a step further. I don't think it's necessarily about finding what works for you, because clearly at this point nothing has, which was my case for decades. I believe it's about finding what you are WILLING to make work. I think it's about finding something that you are WILLING to stick with. Because that's the only way it's going to work - if you make it work, if you stick with it. You must give up something. There is a restrictive component to weight loss/maintenance. But that's okay. There's a restrictive component to leading an upstanding life in many areas. I think you will quickly find out, that restriction is not only a good thing, but a wonderful thing. It feels marvelous. Doing what's right for your body leaves an almost *virtuous* feeling. Gaining my own self respect was an added bonus I hadn't counted on.
But luckily, and waaay shorter than you can imagine, if you do push through it, if you do see it through - no matter what, no matter what, no matter what - it gets easier and easier. It becomes automatic, habitual and just what you do. But you have to allow it to happen. You have to force it to happen. And it does.
Give it 150%. Find out what you're capable of. Than you'll sit back and wonder why the heck you didn't do it earlier.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 10-11-2010 at 08:22 AM.
I have attempted weight loss many times too and I always gave up because I made it too hard. Weight loss has always been so slow for me, no matter what I do, so I killed myself at the gym and starved myself and got nowhere, or so I thought. Losing 30 pounds was too little and too slow so I would throw up my hands and quit. I entered weight loss this time with one goal in mind...to combat that one weakness of mine, which was quitting. Instead of focusing on pounds lost, especially within any kind of time frame, I decided I was really curious about where I could be in a year's time if I simply kept plugging away. So for one year, I am committed 100% to being on plan each and every day no matter what. With that simple adjustment, mostly in my thinking, I have met more success than I have ever had before.
What's keeping you back? What's the one thing you need to change in order to make yourself successful? You've lost 100 pounds in the past! Good for you! That's an amazing accomplishment! Can you pinpoint what in your plan allowed you to put all the weight back on? What creative change in thinking or in action can you put into place to safe guard you against doing that again?
I can tell you for me the first three weeks or so are always killer. But I know if I can white knuckle my way through three weeks, it will be smooth sailing.
I have to echo what Robin said too about making it easier by giving up crap foods. Time and time again I allow chocolate or other sweets back into my diet and it makes it HARDER not easier. Each time I eat something like that, something that takes about a minute to ingest, it takes 3 days to get it out of my system and to make the cravings stop. I'm always wiser when I look at a piece of cake and ask myself, is that cake worth three days of white knuckling against cravings? Sometimes it is...sometimes it just isn't that good.
All talk and no action?
