Anyone else have trouble juggling a boyfriend and trying to exercise and eating right? I like to have a set schedule for working out cuz it seems to help me stick with it better but he always wants to go do something else. The times where he does agree to work out with me he wants to do something insanely crazy like 8 hour hikes. Sure I'm down for that sometimes but that's not really my style. Or we usually hang out with nothing to do and end up eating fast food. Definitely no good. It's tough trying to find a good middle.
I find it easier just to talk to them! I just say things like, I dont eat pizza when we go out because its just not worth it to me, but if you want pizza go ahead and I'll grab a subway or a salad from where you want to get pizza from And then just never compromise! XD Because if you sometimes say weeeell ok just this once i guess, you start a whole intermittent reinforcement schedule which is really hard to break xD I think scheduling work outs can be harder I find getting up earlier to do them is better for me, because then i have my evenings free to spend with him, whereas in the morning all we'd be doing otherwise is sleeping
Well, I just broke up with my boyfriend (we're on a break for a few months) that's actually what kicked my *** to start to lose weight. My short term motivator is that I want to have a significant amount of weight lost when I see him again!
It is hard finding middle ground! I can totally relate (but not to the 8 hour hikes).
My boyfriend lives 4 hours away so I only see him (and eat like it's going out of style) maybe 2-3 weekends per month, which detracts only minimally from my efforts and plan. He's trying to eat better now which makes it even easier.
Of course, I actually put on 5-10 lbs in the first few months of our relationship because we were always eating cookies and being lazy together.
My situation is exactly the same as yours. And in some ways it's worse because I know my boyfriend really wants to lose weight but I think he's given up. My goal is to work out Monday - Saturday eventually but I still haven't me that goal. Part of the reason is my own fault but it's also because I spend Saturdays with him, and he always refuses to work out. Actually, on Tuesday or Wednesday when I ask him about it, he'll say, "yeah, we can go to the gym on Saturday" and then Saturday comes around, and he won't do it. So frustrating!!! Yesterday he wouldn't go either. (I'm on fall break so I had yesterday and today off.) And we had McDonald's for breakfast and Chinese food for dinner. Ugh! I mean, I know you can always make healthy choices but...how when those are the two places you go eat?
The biggest issue is that he makes me "fall off the wagon." So, yeah, I had McDonald's once this week and skipped a work out. No big deal, right? But it usually ends up snowballing because then I'm like, "Well this week is ruined, who cares?" Or I just gain a taste for unhealthy food again or something. I know a lot of this is my own psychology but I wish he wouldn't start it going!
I've been struggling with this for the (almost) month since I've started my weight loss journey, and I think I need to communicate to him how serious I am about this because he is clearly not getting the picture. And I also need to communicate that to myself and stop letting my eating and exercising habits be affected by someone else.
You're going to have to stand up for yourself and if they care enough about you they will encourage you to keep going! Maybe your healthy habits will eventually start to rub off on them! Especially when they see how great you're looking and how happy you are! Stay strong and remember, it's your body and you only get one!
A great activity when you have nothing to do is to cook together. Pick something you're both really craving and figure out a healthy way to make it. Go grocery shopping and spend time in the kitchen.
As for working out schedule it like you would a business meeting, and stick to it like you would a planned meeting. If he wants to join you, great! If not, then he can find something else to do while you're busy bustin' your buns!
Well my boyfriend is great in the way that he never really eats a lot and prefers unprocessed foods (he's an eat to live kind of person). However, he lives an hour away and hanging out with him always screws up my exercise routine. This week I was supposed to work out 5 nights but only managed 3 because of staying over his house. I think the key is to keep communicating with him. Your exercise time is off limits to anyone but you. That time is like your personal bank account and only you can draw from it. Nobody else. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to interrupt him at 4am when he's trying to sleep. That time is precious to him for sleeping and the time you've blocked off to work out is precious to you.
I find it easier just to talk to them! I just say things like, I dont eat pizza when we go out because its just not worth it to me, but if you want pizza go ahead and I'll grab a subway or a salad from where you want to get pizza from And then just never compromise! XD Because if you sometimes say weeeell ok just this once i guess, you start a whole intermittent reinforcement schedule which is really hard to break xD I think scheduling work outs can be harder I find getting up earlier to do them is better for me, because then i have my evenings free to spend with him, whereas in the morning all we'd be doing otherwise is sleeping
I totally agree with Icon. I struggle with juggling my boyfriend (who is one of those people that is blessed with a perfect metabolism and is happy to eat gross fast food all of the time) and what's important to me - which is getting healthy and being more happy with myself.
My boyfriend supports me wholeheartedly and I just have to be firm with him when he suggests we grab Burger King to eat. I've made an effort to stop eating fast food all together. If you make it clear to your boyfriend that it's important to you to follow your schedule at your own pace (so you don't get dragged into something you're not comfortable with) then he will listen. If he doesn't , just talk to him and make sure he understands it really matters to you. Sometimes my boyfriend tries to get me to not go workout or something because he likes me just the way I am, but I'm not happy with myself so that's why I'm making the change.
The best thing to do, is to separate yourself. Your boyfriend doesn't have to work out with you. You can do that all on your own. Helps build character too =)
Took me a long time to finally say IM GOING TO DO THIS WITHOUT YOUR HELP. He is already muscular, goes to the gym on his own time and now I go to boot camp on my own time 5x a week. We both find this time apart as extremely relaxing and helpful. I can totally zone out when working out and really appreciate the time alone.
I agree with the other ladies when it comes to food, talk to him. You are totally valid in your feelings and he should recognize that.
I live with my SO, which has allowed us to be a little bit healthier. Honestly, most of the time, we just eliminate food from our date activities. Instead of going to dinner, we'll eat at home and then go out. Or we pick a restaurant I can eat in, that I've looked up the calories for and have figured out exactly what I'm eating. If we see a movie, I pack snacks that are outside of what we normally eat, but still healthy (and then sneak them in in my very large purse).
Otherwise, we do things we might not have done if sticking to the traditional dinner date. We painted pottery at a studio, we're going to see a play, we've started geocaching together. I figure that its my relationship too and my weight loss matters.
Haha - I totally get what you're going though My husband is bad, but I'm learning that it's usually because he has absolutely no grasp on what good nutrition looks like! Seriously - the boy thinks that fettuccine alfredo can be good for you if you make it with whole wheat pasta...
Maybe your boyfriend wants to support you, but isn't sure how to really do it? Try talking to him about what you're doing, what your plan is, why you're doing it, etc. so that he understands why weight loss is important to you.
And I definitely agree with Icon - it's super important to set your own ground rules and then stick to them 100%. If you cave sometimes, you can't expect him to know when he needs to push you to stay on track.
Well, my boyfriend and I tried to figure it out. He's all about trying to get himself in shape but we've found out the past couple days that we CANNOT workout together. He expects me to do the things he does and it's not gonna happen. He's 6'8" and works out on a almost regular basis. Excuse me if I can't scale walls and take 2 steps to get up a 10 ft hill. I'm just starting to workout after not doing so for a while. He just doesn't understand the idea of pacing yourself. So we agreed we can't work out together. I think it'll be better that way anyways....I hope.
Juggling boyfriends and weight loss
And then just never compromise! XD Because if you sometimes say weeeell ok just this once i guess, you start a whole intermittent reinforcement schedule which is really hard to break xD I think scheduling work outs can be harder 
I find getting up earlier to do them is better for me, because then i have my evenings free to spend with him, whereas in the morning all we'd be doing otherwise is sleeping 
