[Magrat]

I've lost thirty pounds from 145 to 115. I'm the smallest I've been in twenty years. I'm wearing tiny sizes.

But I don't feel thin. I should, I guess, but I just don't and I've been trying to figure out why.

This is not the first time I've been this low. In fact I've been lower. Back when I was twenty three I dropped below 100 pounds for the first and only time since puberty. I felt thin then. But it wasn't the low weight in itself that made me feel thin because I also felt thin ten years ago when I dropped from 135 to 120.

All I can figure out is that when I lost weight in the past I lost it fast so the changes were quick and dramatic. I'm talking about dropping two sizes in a a week.

Of course the weight came back. But until it did, for a while at least I felt thin.

This time around it took me three years to lose the weight. The changes were so slow they were imperceivable. The weight has stayed off. But because I didn't experience any sudden dramatic changes I feel like I'm still in the body I started out in.

And I feel cheated.

[xty]

Our mind is a powerful, tricky thing

We actually survive throughout our many years by being able to maintain one continuous self-image, despite the fact we are a completely different set of cells than the day we were born.

I think when we rapidly cycle thru weights, the adaption process can lag behind and a slightly fractured self-image can be the result. Some people adapt to rapidly changes images of themselves faster or slower at different times in life based on the level of changes and level of linked emotions.

Many people here, especially over on the Living Maint board and myself included, totally empathize with the mind lagging behind the body! However, no one but you is going to be able to figure out why your mind is stuck feeling fat.

The "cheated" comments strikes me as especially interested. Also, for you what does feeling thin mean? Some people feel thin when they are slim and strong, others when they are more frail, etc.

[Magrat]

Well I've maintained my loss for over a year so my head should have had plenty of time to catch up to my body. Maybe I should have gone the crash diet route yet again and then switched to a more moderate way of eating in order to keep the weight off instead of being moderate from the beginning. I don't know.

I know my age has a lot to do with the fact that whatever I do I cannot get my stomach flat. I get a lot of exercise, both cardio and strength training. I do exercises specifically for the stomach but nothing is helping. I know that it's not possible to spot reduce so it a person has an area that is fat relative to the rest of their body it means that they still need to lose weight. Everything else is tight but my lower abdomen looks like a half filled saggy water balloon. I can't blame it on pregnancy because I've never been pregnant.

Or maybe I don't feel thin because I'm still five pounds away from my goal. In other posts I've talked about calling goal now but deep inside I know that I will feel like I've given up if I do that.

[WinterJinx]

I don't think it matters how fast or slow you loose the weight because I had loss nearly 100 pounds in a little over a year (which I consider fast) and I still feel like I'm in the same body I started out in.

Most of my life I've been extradinary heavy and so it is hard for me to see myself as average size now. Everytime I pass a mirror and see myself I am shocked by the way I look because I still carry around the image of obease me.

After a while you just need to let go of the image you have of yourself as heavy or in your case possibly the image you have of yourself when you were thin. I think you have put the period of time when you were at your thinest on a pedestal and any success you have now in your weight goals is compared to that particular time period in your life.

[StephanieM]

I have trouble recognizing my own loss unless I look at a before picture.

Because it's so slow, you get used to yourself so you never see the difference unless you actually look at that before picture and think 'wow, I came from that!'

I've lost almost 40 lbs, and I don't feel small, but today I noticed I can see my ribs when I was weighing myself naked in the bathroom. I don't feel like a person who's ribs you can see, but I AM that person.

It's a constant issue for many of the girls here, I think a lot of it comes from self confidence. Feel confident in yourself, the changes you made. Find things that prove where you've come from and shove it in your face! I make myself look at inches lost, pounds lost, before photos, they show me where I came from and help me when I'm feeling like I really haven't gone anywhere at all