[Dnurkle]

Hello to all!

In summer of 2001 I got to my goal weight of 135.

Fall of 2001 my father died suddenly.
Early 2002 we changed lifestyles drastically (rural to large city).
By mid-2002, I had gained all the weight back plus the foreboding extra 20 everyone talks about ....

In 2003 company hubby worked for shut down.
In 2005 a business partner ripped him off.
In 2008 lost most recent work.
In 2009 we lost our home.

I sound like a giant whiner....but I really am not. I just look at the events of the last 8 years and see so much that has contributed to my first ever weight REgain then to the TOTAL lack of motivation to get it off again. But I am miserable in this body. It isn't ME. I know ME...and THIS body is not it.

Still unsettled and not sure where the next month's rent will come from, weight loss would help the 'mood' and outlook but circumstances seem to thwart my gumption.

HELP!

I know all the right things to do. Even at one point enjoyed them. Just can't get myself doing them again consistently enough to make a difference.

HELP!
I NEED to get from 180 to 140 and STAY there....

[Onederchic]

Hi and welcome to 3FC.

Good luck with your goals.

Hugs
Michelle

[danika]

welcome and good luck!! x

[Tummy Girl]

Welcome! If you at one point enjoyed all those healthy activities then you're so far ahead already. Your body will remember, I think deep down our bodies want to be healthy if we listen had enough.

That sounds like a rough 8 years, and it will feel all the better to come through it all and have your body back.

[Losing It 2010]

Welcome to 3FC, we are glad you are here!

[Deena52]

Hi and welcome!

I don't think you sound like a whiner at all. Those are horrible things that happened to you over the past few years. Anyone would be extremely stressed and upset just like you if those things happened to them/us. And you're not even whining about them....just explaining how things spiraled down weight-wise.

OK...first, the best thing you can do to start is to keep returning to this site and reading and posting. I see so many who introduce themselves and then disappear...and I worry about what happened to them. This site can be priceless in terms of help, support, accountability, etc. It was a HUGE help for me and continues to be now in maintenance. So keep returning...every day, preferably.

And the good news is that you don't have a whole lot of weight to lose. I lost 60 lbs. in about 8-10 months....and you can lose 40 lbs. in much less time, I am sure. In a few months, you can be right where you want to be.

Losing the weight won't fix all our problems, of course. It reminds me of the joke where a guy asks his surgeon (after surgery), "will I be able to play the piano?" and the doctor says, "sure"....and the guy goes, "that's good because I've never learned how to play the piano".
If you couldn't play the piano before surgery, you won't magically be able to play it after surgery. And likewise, just because you lose weight doesn't mean all your problems will be solved and life will be perfect. (I see many teen girls who think this exact thing, unfortunately)

For me, being overweight (downright fat, actually) made any stressful event seem 10 times worse. And it absolutely ramped up the feelings of hopelessness. Hits to our self-esteem are NOT good when we are trying to deal with the stressful/unhappy events that can suddenly come at us from left field. And those things will continue to happen, fat OR thin....but it is, IMO, at least, MUCH easier to cope when you are feeling good about how you look (not to mention how much better you physically feel).

So that's my stellar piece of advice....for starting off. Don't go disappearing on us. Make a commitment to stay here for the duration.

deena

[Deena52]

Just to add:

Time is going to pass whether you lose the weight or not. And in fact, things are most likely to improve at some point. And it's up to you to decide if you want to still have the same body or if you want the body that you want when that time happens. Several months will pass....and it's up to you where you want to be at the end of them. Bad things happen all the time....to all of us....but we have to move forward with our weight loss plans regardless, IMO.

When I hit goal....I looked back and thought, "I was going to get to this date in time whether I lost the weight or not. How many times did I say to myself that if I'd carried out my weight loss plan, I could have been there by now? And thought about how much time I'd wasted....that time would pass regardless and that only I had the ability to decide and carry out the plan that would determine how I was going to look when the same time was gonna roll around next year." And also realized that right at that moment, I could still be fat....and still postponing starting my weight loss plans....and that if I'd not decided to act...I'd have literally gotten nowhere and would have still been sitting there frustrated. Time DOES matter. Down the road you are gonna look back and wish you'd started today, right? We all do that repeatedly.

Because really, NOT starting your new plan right now is not gonna change the outcome of what is going bad in your life right now. It will most likely make it worse. Postponing your weight loss program is not gonna magically pay the rent, right? Two completely different things. Stay focused and don't let those things stall or stop you. You can do it.

deena

[DhaniCauldwell]

Welcome and good luck!

Dhani