Hi! I just posted on the 300+ then saw the WLS forum. I have been in the pre op process for having RNY for the last year and a half. Had a date on Nov. 3, 2009 and because of a problem with my preop blood work had to postpone surgery. Jan. 1 my insurance changed and had to wait for new approval. Now I have approval and a date of July 2 and i am having second thoughts. I am (other than my weight) a healthy 36 year old. Normal blood pressure and sugar, no sleep apnea, etc. The blood work complication is a genetic disorder that can cause blood clotting (which increases the risks of surgery). I have two young children a great supportive husband and family. I'm thinking that it is not time for me to do this at this point in my life. That the "healthy" way is still better for me. Please don't take that term the wrong way, I know that WLS has saved so many lives and it is a wonderful thing. For all of you that have been there done that, what is your opinion? Given the info above, would you do it? I know that I am the only one that can decide for me, but you know the lifestlye and struggles after WLS and i would love to read your opinion.
Thanks!
My best friend has a clotting disorder like yours. I'm glad you caught it before some serious happened. I haven't had WLS but I just wanted to say "Welcome" and good luck!
I get your feeling...it's such a personal choice. No one should tell you what you should or shouldn't do.
I love my life now, I did what was best for me. WLS was NOT the easy way out, but it was the "healthy" way for me...I got to the point that I felt I had no other choice. A common place of desperation many of us got it.
For me the deciding factor for having surgery was my regular Dr. saying that by 50 I would be be diabetic heart patient...by 60, I would most likely be in a wheel chair or have to use a scooter...and that there are few 330lbs 70 year olds and next to NO 330lbs 80 year olds. I wanted to live well and be there for my daughter and her children. That was my motivation and still is.
Angela
Last edited by missangelaks; 05-31-2010 at 01:22 AM.
Thanks for the posts.
Angela, I know what you are saying i also have felt that way, and have tried traditional weightloss so many times. Were you afraid as your surgery date approached? I just keep thinking about the complications that can happen during and after surgery. I also know several people who are great success stories but some who have gained all their weight back. And please don't think that I mean by my post that surgery is an easy way. Just the decision is crazy hard, the surgery is a risk and your life is changed forever. If I thought it was going to be the easy way I would not be questioning myself. i have a lot of respect for people who are winning the battle against the fat monster no matter which way they choose to fight it!
Kim - welcome to our little corner!!! and frankly, i'd be MORE worried about you if you weren't having second thoughts. it's really hard, no matter what your decision is, to avoid wondering if you've made the right choice.
i guess a couple of Qs could be - how have you weight loss efforts been over the past couple of years, while you've had delay after delay? are you satisfied with them? that's a Q that only you can answer.
And what made you decide to pursue the surgery, and work through all the challenges, to get to this point? are those reasons still there?
the other point i'd like to make is that being morbidly obese INCREASES a person's risk of blood clots, especially in the legs. voice of experience here - WITHOUT a clotting disorder.
walking away from the surgery now, since you're healthy and all, is a reasonable choice. and then you get to balance that against the 'what if's' - what if your health deterioriates and you decide to go for the surgery, and you're now a higher-risk patient?
my suggestion: have a heart-to-heart with your surgeon. weigh the risks and benefits very very carefully - and think it over. it's a huge decision.
I was a "healthy" obese person pretty much my whole life - until I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at age 25.
What you do is absolutely YOUR decision. All I can say is that I successfully dieted my way to 320+ pounds and type 2 diabetes, and, knowing what I know now, I would have had my WLS sooner. But, you never know what's going to happen until it happens, so it really is a tough choice.
I'm also wondering if maybe you fear the RNY lifestyle? Have you researched other procedures as well, such as the VSG and the DS? Even after my diabetes diagnosis, I was VERY much against WLS for myself becuse I thought the only options were the band and the RNY. Once I discovered the DS, it was like all my WLS fears were gone. Not that I'm saying the RNY is wrong for everyone or that the DS is right for everyone, but I speak from experience when I say that finding the right procedure for your lifestyle is just as important a decision as whether or not to have WLS at all.
And, yes, fear is 110% normal. Fear of the actual surgery ad potential complications, fear of the healing process, fear of the lifestyle changes post-op...it's all normal and completely makes sense. Not that that makes it any easier!
Don't let fear hold you back. But .... a done bun can't be undone. WLS is indeed a big deal. It's a life changer that requires work and sacrifice and, yes, RISK. Definitely resolve any major doubts before surgery. I know many doctors/hospitals have WLS support groups. Maybe you could attend a few meetings to meet some post-ops IRL. That may help in sorting out fears and weighing the benefits with the risks.
note: I say all of this, and I've not had WLS! I'm researching it and considering it very seriously. If I get it, I want the DS. That much I feel pretty sure of right now. But I'm not sure if I want surgery at this time. I also have two very young children. I'm giving myself some time (a year, actually) to try to lose weight on my own (once again) and talk to my PCP etc.etc. before making a final decision. I think the fear is natural, and I definitely have that too. But I am more afraid of continuing at this weight and dying young as a result - leaving my kids without a mom. Which is more likely? Dying young due to being over 300 lbs, or dying due to the surgery? (I don't have the answer - but that's a question that's been on my mind.)
Good luck in your journey. I hope you can come to a decision that you feel very confident about (even though you'll never be 100% certain no matter what you choose!) (((HUGS)))
I, too, am glad to see you asking the questions. As with all weight loss methods, they only work if you are ready to make that decision. I went to the informational seminar and "decided" to have RNY surgery in Sept 09. Went through the initial process. I had many comorbidities (diabetes, chronic high blood pressure, borderline cholesterol, terrible water retention, sleep apnea, etc. at 43 years old).
It wasn't until the middle of February when my therapist and my surgeon told me that I was not going to have the surgery if I didn't show that I was ready, that I finally decided that I was going to do it. I have a 9yo and a 12yo.
My surgery was March 30. Feb 16th I weighed 195. March 30, I weighed 377. May 31, I weighed 334.2.
Has it been difficult? Yes.
Was I terrified about surgery and complications? YES.
Do I regret what I did? NO.
Will I someday? I doubt it.
Is it going to take a lifelong commitment? YES.
Have I changed other things in my life to make this a total life change rather than just a weight loss change? Yes.
But, until you are ready, it won't matter what choice you make. Good luck!!!
Changing my mind?!?!
