I'm a sophomore in college, 19 years old... 5' 7" and 242lbs (GAHHHH!)
So... I've been dieting on and off since I was 11 or 12 years old, probably. When I was younger I was never really overweight, just chubby. When I got to high school, I started transitioning from chubby to overweight. By the last couple of years of high school, I made my way up to obese.
Me in 6th grade:
Freshman year:
Sophomore year of college, January 2010:
I realized recently that I was looking and feeling fatter. Recently as in within the last couple of weeks. Every day I woke up and looked in the mirror was a "fat day" and usually I'd only have those once every couple weeks. I saw some pictures of myself and realized that in every single one I had a double chin. I've learned how to tilt my head so that I don't have one, but I guess I'd gained enough weight that it didn't matter how I contorted myself or what angle the camera was at, I still had a double chin. After that I felt gross and I sat and wondered how anyone was still friends with me. I'd be embarrassed to be seen with myself.
In my head, my weight was 220. All summer I'd hopped around the teens, 213 was my lowest. Once school started up again I headed up to the 20s again. One day I went home and weighed myself and just about died when I saw I was in the thirties. So in my mind... I was 220.
A couple nights after hating the way I looked in the mirror I went to a party. After drinking probably 600 calories worth of alcohol (many many many shots) I went into the bathroom and saw there was a scale. I stood on it. (It took a couple tries, I couldn't really stand up straight.) It said 242. WTF?!?!?!?!?!? TWO FOURTY TWO. I was convinced I was delusional. Then it hit me. THATS why I'd been feeling so fat lately. BECAUSE I WAS FAT.
Here's a hideous picture of what I looked like that night:
ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ewwwwwwwwwwww
So the next morning, I decided that I was going to stop eating so much. That's really my only problem. The amount of calories I eat in a day. If I had to estimate, I'd say once I got to college I probably started eating 3000-3500 calories every day.
YIKES.
ookay, so... I started tracking and writing down everything on everydayhealth.com (I'm starting to love that website.) I put my daily limit at around 1500 calories. It's really not hard. If I want something with a lot of calories, I adjust my other food accordingly and I don't eat as much of it. I don't do it multiple times in a day. THIS IS SO EASY. I don't know why I had such a hard time with it before.
And seriously, I've had those thoughts before. Those "this is a new beginning and I'm never going back!" thoughts. But somehow I always revert back to the way I was before.
But now, even after only a week of doing this, I can't imagine eating that much of those foods or going back at all. I seriously can't picture myself doing it. Just because of my history with dieting and everything, I'm scared to death that I'm going to revert to the way I was before, but I honestly can't imagine it.
Soooo, long story short... I think this is finally my turning point. I already feel like I look better, after just one week! When I go home this weekend I'm going to weigh myself... I can't wait to see what it says!
(yeah that was super long, I'm sorry.)
Hi guys! I'm new! (embarassing pictures included)
I am SO impressed with your courage! I could NEVER have shown pictures and been as honest as you! WTG! Keep coming back...this is an awesome place!
